Olwin's Calimshan Story

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Olwin's Calimshan Story

Post by Ninjimmy » Fri May 22, 2020 4:47 pm

A scene from Rhek's, in which the wizard most call Olwin has agreed to perform a tale of drama and woe.

Alright, alright, I'll tell the story again - I do have others, you guys, this is just the only one that's sort of got a moral to it.

Before I start anyone want to buy me a d-

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, Fine, bunch of cheapskates, you knew I was broke when you lent me the money can't hold it against me for not paying it back for eight years or however long it's been.

*ahem ahem*

You've all heard of Calimshan, right? Good, that saves some time.

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a mighty Pasha who ruled over a powerful series of guilds and was the de facto authority in that neck of the woods, which was Memnon if any of you care. All of the beggars paid him some kind of homage and he had several genasi bodyguards who took care of anyone who was less than forthcoming with their dues. Basically, he was a major deal, very influential even in the other cities like Calimport. This Pasha had two advisors because, while he was mighty politically, he lacked a few key elements like language skills, historical knowledge and (most importantly for the story so I'll say it again) language skills.

Guy spoke Alzhedo and that was basically it, even Common was pretty ropey.

So he hired two advisors to help guide him, make sure he always knew what was going on and he had two to make sure he had different opinions before deciding.

Now, one day, a dwarf woman is brought before the Pasha for committing a series of crimes. I can already see the protest in your eyes guys so I'll clarify, she was whacking slavers and freeing their slaves - it's not a bad thing most places but Calimshan's laws are a bit different and murder's usually frowned upon near universally. Yeah, I heard the Myon crack in the back, very witty, get back to your ale.

Where was I?

Right, the dwarf. So she'd been caught eventually and haaaaaauled up before the Pasha and he said, translated by his advisors, that he understood it was a cultural difference and if she but apologises for her transgression he will let her go free. But instead she started just unloading on him in Dethek, I'm talking the kind of stuff that makes your beard curl, basically everything you've ever heard Rhek call me when I fail to pay my tab, multiplied by a factor of five. But she doesn't see she's done anything wrong so can't concede the ground. Bear in mind, the Pasha could absolutely have her executed for this.

But he doesn't speak any Dethek.

So he turns to the first Advisor and he asks "What did this woman say?" and the first advisor takes a few seconds, maybe he's trying to think what the Alzhedo word is for "fornication specifically with unattractive donkeys" but after a while he instead says
"She apologises, my lord, she has seen the error of her ways and wishes to make ammends"

The Pasha smiles and nods, stroking his magnificent beard and shaking a jewelled finger with a rattle of gold and ruby.
"I thought as much! I would be most relieved to let her go"

But the second advisor piped up instead, she said

"My Pasha, I cannot stay silent. Your esteemed first advisor has spoken in error. She did not apologise, what she actually said was-"

Errr, well, not repeating it since there are ladies present. And men. And scurvy sailing types who've heard everything under the sun but I'm pretty sure would still blush.

Needless to say, Pasha is saddened by this and sighs.

"Would that you had not told me, loyal friend. I would much sooner believe a lie which saved a life, than a truth that must end one."

There is a moment of deep silence as the tavern collectively imagines the scene, an execution that cannot be halted. For honour demands it only be resolved in one final manner. A soft clink of pewter as two ale mugs are tapped together and the contents consumed. The next speaker moves to stand when Olwin, picking idly at a nail suddenly adds

So I punched the second advisor and teleported us out of there. I mean, come on all she had to do was keep her big mouth shut but noooooooo, she had to GRASS me up! I was tryna avoid unnecessary death's Soliphia you... GAH!

So, yeah, moral of the story - don't tell a lie if your partner's a piking snitch. Also, I can't go back to Calimshan they definitely still want to kill me.

The wizard shuffles passed his friends, deposits himself in a heap of purple and blue rags as his coat and cloak become tangled about him, and ever so slyly steals a pint from the dwarf next to him before swigging it down in one. A few whispered conversations wonder if the story is true, one even says they'll call him out on it. Olwin doesn't smile, he just sips at the beer in front of him and muses that he hopes no-one looks up when the event happened. He could do without the questions of why he looks so young. All in all, he concludes, that's one of his better stories.

It doesn't cost anyone anything important, there's no tears or funerals at the end. Nothing is lost except his esteem in a city. Shame he doesn't have more stories like that. Because he has a lot of stories...
Porkules (and, by extension, Zeke of Southreach)
Olwin (AKA Olicoros Vrozt Akael Shilligg Jugem Dojj Winzalfur AKA That £$%^ing Wizard)
Locke Aldariin ("Where's my money, man!?")

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