Maiyr Kenyrsharae - Journal Musings

[Eira]

Lessons of Nobility

To be a gentleman is not merely in the title, but the entire way of life. One can be born among the lowest of the low and still rise to the same prominence as a king or lord. Now, some may have grown up with the lessons of nobility fed to them upon a silver platter until to act as such is as simple as taking a breath, but that should not discourage. Quite the contrary. In the end, all lessons may be taught, and any with the will to seek refinement may learn.

The first lesson of being a gentleman, is, of course, to have a purpose for your life. That is the simplest for those of noble birth; their path was set for them when they were born. With parents and expectations locked into place before they could even walk, it is no wonder that so many chafe at their restraints and run off on adventures or other such freedoms. As I was once told, “Gentlemen do not live in this state of unknown, they have surpassed it and now are making progress towards attaining the life they want”. And in this instance, to have the ability to choose one’s own path and be sure of it, is how a learned gentleman may surpass a raised one. Chaos and uncertainty are not gentlemanly. Purpose and discipline are.

A gentleman must be well-read and informed. A gentleman does not listen only with the intention of waiting long enough until he may voice his own uneducated opinions. He must learn from what he hears, and he must be open to his opinions changing with experience. Untruths spoken through ignorance rarely make an impact, and a gentleman must be prepared to cast aside superficial trivialities. And thus, the second lesson, a gentleman will only partake in a conversation when he is confident in knowledge of the topic discussed.

Presentation, of course, is one of the more important lessons. One might say they do not judge someone by their appearance, but that of course is a lie. A gentleman should understand that there is more to life than a loincloth. He must strive to follow current fashions and seek a high quality in fabric and tailoring. Gold is a small price to pay for a lifetime of pleasant first impressions. And of course, that is only in clothing. A gentleman must walk gracefully; he must not stumble. He will look where he is going, and he will keep his voice and emotions controlled. A child will yell and run headlong into someone else. A gentleman shall not.

Do not say you will do something if you cannot carry it out. A gentleman must be one to put trust in. A gentleman should not put emphasis on what he intends to do, but instead allow his actions speak for themselves. He must be confident in his ability to carry something out, but that confidence should never turn to arrogance, for confidence should be backed up by his actual ability to do so. Pride begets arrogance. Self-truth leads to confidence.

A gentleman will always be punctual. He understands that the time of others is valuable. If he cannot be expected to represent that value, then how will anyone else respect that of his? To return to the first lesson, to be on time is one such proof of a gentleman in control of his own life. He will live by it.

To master the art of conversation. A gentleman must be able to speak with others pleasantly without faltering. It does not matter to whom he speaks, he must be able to match their level of formality with ease. And of course, a gentleman must remember that a conversation requires multiple sides to be worth anything. If he is the only one speaking, why, then, must there be another person at all? He must inquire after his speaking partner and allow them time to speak. And when he does learn about those he speaks with, he must remember this information, else when it comes up in the future, he will be marked as one that truly does not care for others.

Never, never, lose yourself to drink. To be gentlemanly and courteous, one may imbibe on occasion, but he must never drink to excess, and he must never lose control of his own actions. To say “but I was drunk” as an excuse to misbehavior, is a sure sign of loss of purpose, lack of control, and childish impulses. This is not to say a gentleman can never enjoy himself, but he may do so without making a fool of himself.

A gentleman must learn how to communicate. Now, this is different from mere conversation and small talk; a gentleman must learn to say what needs being said, in both romance and business. He must be able to engage in difficult subjects, and indeed, even start them if the other party is unwilling to do so. He must be open about his or their struggles, and he must be able to react with empathy, but not stand down if he is to be overwhelmed. He will not embarrass himself or others by airing out unpleasant topics loudly in public, and when he invites someone to discuss these matters, he will be courteous and offer proper hospitality.

To be a gentleman is extraordinary, not merely because of the way he acts, but, again, his very purpose in life. So many will give up on their dreams or seek a compromise that is always less than what they deserve, but a gentleman shall never do the same. He will always strive for these goals, but he shall never sacrifice his ideals for such. There is always a way that will fall in line with his morals, and all he needs is to simply work harder.

How many times can one expect compliments? From a gentleman, it should be many. Be generous with praise; be generous with compliments. An insult may always be remembered, but I personally would not agree with the quote of “all attention is good attention”. Be remembered as the one to never have a bad word for anyone, and in turn, they shall never have a bad word about you.

A gentleman should strive to be in good health and to be clean. If he is covered in filth; if his armor is rusted; if his shoes are falling apart, that is more than mere lack of fashion. To allow your clothing to tatter is a message that you do not care for yourself at the most basic level. No one will wish to stand near someone that makes their lip curl with revulsion. If he is dirty, if his hair is unwashed, if he smells, he will be someone that others avoid. He must not lounge around in a room all day; a sign of being well-informed is of also knowing the area.

One should be willing to help those who are willing to be helped. A gentleman should not offer unsolicited advice, and he should not advise those who are unwilling to act upon it. Someone who seeks help multiple times but is unwilling to act upon it is not someone who truly wishes to fix their own problems, they will wish for you to fix the problems for them. A gentleman must be charitable, but he must also to be truthful to himself and to others.

He must be aware of the small details. If his companion is cold, he may offer them his cloak, or, if he is arcanely inclined, a spell to stave off the chill. If he remembers his business partner is fond of a certain wine or a certain dish, he would do well to serve it to them. His handshake is firm, it does not linger. He does not shy from physical contact. He will look someone in the eye. If he will deal with those of a different native language or culture than his own, he will begin to learn it. He will judge interactions fairly and give others a chance to prove themselves.

If one does not allow themselves to be discouraged, with enough practice, following these lessons shall too, become as simple as breathing. A gentleman may be born, or he may be finely crafted. I would not say it is easy, for no great life change is, but it is certainly possible.

Maiyr Kenyrsharae
Flamerule, 153

[Eira]

Mae’arael, how times have changed.

Clad again in the armor I had set aside long ago, I sail far west in search of thraen’ath, the end of my hunt. I had thought my knighthood to be left behind with my age, and yet it seems I am wrong once again. Three-and-thirty years is much too little a time to mourn the loss of my other half, though of course the last thing she would wish of me was to founder in my sorrow.

Adoe… time is strange to think of. I had never concerned myself with its passing, but now to look forward, all I can see is how little I have left. Perhaps I had spent far too much time with humans, always thinking of their own mortality as it rushes towards them. I know my youth is long behind me; I see it in the grey of my hair, and I feel it in the pains plaguing me that which no spell could remove.

Where would we be without the divine? There are so many scars I feel crossing my body, and yet when I look for them, I see nothing there, but flesh and skin healed over too many times. I should be riddled with old wounds, arivae, I shouldn’t even have my left hand! But in the divine we hold faith, and thus they grant us with the strength to carry on through many battles past our time.

I try not to feel lost when I stare out at the sea before me.

[Eira]

I see her in reverie.

We danced beneath the dripping stars of dusk, moon and sun intertwined as one. And when night finally covered the land, she would leave me; twirling and spinning around the glade, skirts and hair flying as if she were about to leave her mortal body behind and ascend to dance among the stars as the otherworldly enchantress she was. And she would sing, oh yes, she would sing, and I stood there in a dumb silence, watching her and able to do naught but be swept away upon the waves of my love for her.

It is said that the elves gift love freely, though the lesser-lived races might take our affairs of thirty, fifty, seventy years, and believe they are the same as loves lasting their entire lifespan. For some, it is true. Life is worth living for the beauty found in the world and the love that draws twin hearts together, they say. And many of our kith love freely and live freely and dance from one love to another with every breath.

For us, it was no different. But, no matter the adventures, no matter the dance with others and the thrill and joy and seeking of new loves, we would always return, sun and moon, moon and sun, our entwined steps spiraling beneath the stars.

With the birth of our child, our little Shalyth, I knew it was time to wander forth, to seek the future we deserved. And I left her and our child, knowing they would be safe and protected. I knew those around them would protect them. I knew that our purpose was just and true.

I knew not what would happen in my absence.

When I returned to the ashes of our home, her charred bones were all that awaited me. Our child was gone. And all I could do was kneel before the last hint of joy in my life; in this world, and whisper pleas that we would meet once more.

“Nath’telsaurot’n ker’ess thraen arkhdrauth thaes’mhaor dra Xo’ganoth.”

My little Shalyth…

Stolen from us! Lost! Wandering without hope. Without guidance. Without our love for her! To find her once more would be as if the sun, gone dark with the death of my love, had suddenly shone forth. But to see her face again… to hear the voice of my daughter, my Shalyth, my sun-child, it would be as if my memories spilled out from the confines of my mind to stand before me, so tentative, so unsure. But all I will know is relief. I will see her once more, aie! I have been waiting for the moment for so so long.

“Oh, my daughter, I have missed you so.”