Confessions of a Sunite.

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JustMonika
Posts: 274
Joined: Sat Dec 14, 2019 8:38 pm

Confessions of a Sunite.

Post by JustMonika » Fri Feb 14, 2020 7:19 am

Oh Lady Firehair.

Do you hear the words of your wayward child?
Do you smile at me kneeling? Does it anger you? Or have I done so wrong that when I kneel for you, you simply do not notice, an ant beesching the mountain?

Do you forgive me for what I have done?
I do not think you do.

I think that when one betrays love, it leaves a crack every time. Each relationship a perfect vase. Every betrayal a drop.
You can put the broken vase back together again, but it is never the same.
Drop. Drop. Drop. How many cracks between us now? How much turned to dust? How many pieces splintered off and lost?
It must be a very sad vase now. You certainly could not hold water in it.

Yet here I am, after all these years, picking up the pieces.
I should have died. I should be dead. Other people shouldn't be.

Are you angry for Benwick? Are you angry for the lost souls, for the fallen hearts? Do you mourn Wharftown?
Or has it all been so much that you can no longer summon an emotion?

I made a painting today. I painted a beautiful bright happy future, full of light and joy.
But then I burnt it. Because lies are ugly. How could you ever love a lie? Does loving a lie have meaning?
Am I a lie?

Temporarily back to Arelith and currently Lilliana Snowfire.

If you have unfinished business with Ultrianan, let me know! Arabella has been rolled.


JustMonika
Posts: 274
Joined: Sat Dec 14, 2019 8:38 pm

Re: Confessions of a Sunite.

Post by JustMonika » Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:37 am

What is it like to lose your own shadow?
To have it burnt away, detached from you?
Is a shadow not part of who we are, what we are?
My shadow was a dark and terrible shadow, Lady Firehair. I used it to do dark and terrible things.
But I used it to do great and beautiful things as well. My shadow was my sword, it was not forged of iron nor steel, but it was a weapon all the same, that defeated my enemies, and yours and kept me safe from harm.

Now I am stricken of my tainted blade. I feel small.
Everyone is so happy.

I can only weep.
What world is it where the path of darkness is such an easy one to walk, full of strength and even joy, and the path of light costs city, friend, weapon and dignity alike?

I love her my Lady. Is that enough?

Temporarily back to Arelith and currently Lilliana Snowfire.

If you have unfinished business with Ultrianan, let me know! Arabella has been rolled.


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