It's not that hard to play a character without ever telling anyone your name, or owning anything that would allow people to learn your name (property and stuff).
I've done this multiple times, but unfortunately people DO still find out your name. It only takes 1 mystery person to just metagame it, and tell someone and then it will spread server-wide and there's no undoing that. I've seen it happen to everyone else too, it's not just me. Trying to avoid metagaming on Arelith is as impossible as trying to avoid people shaming an elf for not wearing trousers.
Some low-quality things will just always happen.
I think a change in rules around exiling is needed. Needing the 'correct name' (whatever that means) to exile someone doesn't make sense. What if that player doesn't even have a disguise, and they just have never told anyone their name? Either by choice or they're mute and illiterate or whatever. If I play a character that is unaware of their own name, am I just immune to exiles, pariahs, scrying, etc? There's too much tied to "real name".
Idea. Dialogue option with the settlement NPC that allows them to ask for a piece of something from the subject. You just RP plucking a hair from the guy that refuses to tell you their name, give it to the dude .. The dude takes it off-screen to some state-funded diviner or something, they don't find out his real name or anything but whoever "that person" is, is now exiled.
Same with scry, just let people scry someone if there has been some RP around taking something of theirs/from them. It's equally as enforcable as learning their name, and makes more sense.
Bit of a rule tweak and a little text added for flavor.