How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

You have questions? We may have answers.

Moderators: Forum Moderators, Active DMs

Post Reply
User avatar
TheBlueWizard
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2019 4:03 pm

How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by TheBlueWizard » Sun Sep 19, 2021 2:23 pm

I'm pretty sure this is the right forum to ask this. It's a question, I'm looking for answers and others input/experiences to help, so... and sorry if this has been asked recently/before. I'm more or less at very casual lurker status here. But, yeah.

As the title says.

How do you find the motivation to get yourself involved in RP on the server? If you find yourself in a rut were, for whatever reason, you're struggling to get invested in anything RP-wise, what do you tend to do to get yourself out of it?

Do you make a new character? Try a race you've never played before? Do you just throw yourself out there and see what happens? Do you try and generate an "event" or something yourself, be it a "let's all get together at the inn!" style affair?

What do you do if it's less of a game-side issue, and more of a life/lifestyle one? If you struggle for hours and only find yourself able to log on once or twice a week for a few hours, how do you try and find the motivation and time for any kind of meaningful or just fun RP? After that long shift/day at work, how do you get yourself in a mindset for some RP? Do you wait and limit yourself to a few hours when you know you're in the mood for it?


Preferably I want peoples suggestions/answers to be removed from any and all Arelith related politics, and no finger pointing as to the state of the server and quality of RP or whatever at all. No judging what other people or doing, just nice responses of how to get yourself involved, or how you yourself got the mojo back for RP.

For myself?

I only ask because at this minute I'm struggling to get involved myself. For the vaguely boring reason (that nobody cares about) as to why... well.

For starters... Arelith is both weirdly familiar and unfamiliar to me as a server/setting. I remember playing on this server when it first came out in the early 2000's. I had a vaguely infamous character called Mander, so it was pretty fun being a well known cheese as it were. I was here for the whole Arelith/Amia split, after which I ran off to Amia for years, which dwindled in interest eventually. Over the last 3 years or so, with NWN:EE coming out, I've been trying on and off to get myself back into RP, and Arelith specifically. But it's odd coming back to something you remember from your teenage years (now in my 30s), because it almost brings back that whole... high school mentality? If that makes sense? I dunno. It feels hard to explain. It's like the hormone, teenage thought trains come flooding back simply due to the familiarity of everything.

On top of that as well.... eh. I find it hard to get involved just because my real life is busy. I've got an 18 month old, a dog, a partner and I work as a Chef, so long hours and commitments all day. When I finish work/life stuff at the end of a day and go to log in with all the excitement and desire in the world to RP, I find myself a bit too drained and fried to be able to get involved. Countless times I'll log on with all the best intentions of seeking out some RP interaction, only to find myself standing on the outside of a group of people RPing and finding myself with little to no energy to step up and contribute in anyway.

Not that Im asking for sympathy and expecting anyone to approach me. But more often than not I'll just run off and solo some Writ work, just to unwind. Which frustrates me. Because the experience of RP is one of the best gaming experiences I think you can have. It's the reason I lurk and routinely come back to the server every few months. Because when the RP is good, it's just an amazing, brilliant experience like no other that you can get from a game.

You can have a week were you log in every night, first 2-3 nights it can feel boring, turgid... nothing good happens. You start giving up on it. Then you'll have one amazing, brilliant interaction with a few people, and good lord! It's just the most invigorating experience ever in terms of gaming/interaction. Before you know it, it's gone hours later than when you were meant to go to bed, just because the thrill and buzz of the RP keeps you going so much. It's that feeling I'd love to replicate more, but it's hard to just ... well, as the title says. Find the motivation.

So, would love to hear if anyone else has ever struggled, or what they've done if they've been in similar situations.
Last edited by TheBlueWizard on Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Aradin
Arelith Silver Supporter
Arelith Silver Supporter
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Aradin » Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:09 pm

I think everyone who roleplays - in video games or otherwise - feels like this from time to time. What works for me is taking breaks. For this game specifically, I've twice now shelved a character and stopped playing Arelith for a few months. When I come back I'm seeing things through a new lens and those interesting pathways I was hoping to find open up naturally.

That doesn't sound quite like what you're experiencing though. I think you've put it into words yourself:
TheBlueWizard wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 2:23 pm
I find it hard to get involved just because my real life is busy. I've got an 18 month old, a dog, a partner and I work as a Chef, so long hours and commitments all day. When I finish work/life stuff at the end of a day and go to log in with all the best intentions in the world to RP, I find myself a bit too drained and fried to be able to get involved.

...more often than not I'll just run off and solo some Writ work, just to unwind.
Kickstarting roleplay from scratch on Arelith takes time and a level of creative and mental investment. Not everyone has that at the ready. We've got jobs and families, and as much as we'd like to live enriching lives as fantasy characters the real world has to come first.

At the end of a long day, it's often nicer if the roleplay comes to us. Consider playing tabletop D&D vs. DMing tabletop D&D. If you're a DM, you're spending time coming up with a world and a story, which is demanding but is satisfying and fulfilling. If you're a player, you just show up every week and there's a fantasy world ready for you to play in. There's not work or much of a time investment on a player's part; that's part of why it's so easy to enjoy. Running with this example, I think you're probably at a point in your life where you've got the time and interest to be a player, but not a DM.
So as different a medium as Arelith is I think you should look for the players who are like DMs, the people with energy and time to start up plots from scratch and run factions and shake the world. I'd bet among all the active characters/factions/groups/settlements/guilds, there are one or two who are doing something you find interesting. Then just stroll up and ask how you can get involved. More often than not if you ask any given leader "How can I help? What quest needs doing?" they'll welcome you in with open arms and you'll soon enough be waist-deep in neat stuff.
This takes the onus of coming up with a starting place for roleplay off of you and puts it onto the shoulders of the people who have the energy for it. Then it's not a question of "I've been standing here in Cordor for 30 minutes; how do I insert myself into one of these conversations?" but becomes a question of "I logged on and immediately got a messenger from a member of my guild who needs help, guess my evening just got booked!".

Was Lloyd Grimm, Sai Aung-K'yi, Stink Spellworped, Ikarus, and Revyn the White.


Nitro
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 7:04 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Nitro » Sun Sep 19, 2021 5:17 pm

Stop playing and immerse myself in other media. Inspiration will come sooner or later and then I return invigorated with a new concept ready to go.

Archnon
Posts: 854
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:05 am

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Archnon » Sun Sep 19, 2021 5:33 pm

Go to a completely new area of the server. That has helped me before. If you play surface, go to the UD. If you play UD, check out skal. Settle into Myon, or Brog, or help the dev team out and make a name for yourself in new Guld. If you play fighters, roll up a wizard and camp the tower. If you play pure casters, settle into a ranger and hang around the grove. I'd bet you've never played at the Half-Breed camp, or Dis, or lord knows the Grotto could always use fresh blood.

I always love watching the kudos thread because I hardly ever see names in there I recognize. It is not because I don't get around. It is because the server is so big. A rut is just that, a hole worn deep by continuous activity. Realizing how big the server is, how many characters are doing good RP, and how much variety there is. Getting out of a rut, I feel, is often as simple as trying something completely new.

One of the reasons I am enjoying the new writ structure actually!

Duchess Says
Posts: 211
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Duchess Says » Sun Sep 19, 2021 6:04 pm

We don't have to give this game our all 100% of the time. If you can only log in here to get a fix but can't be an active part of big ongoing events then just do it. Be a background player or a tourist and level a character or two you might play seriously later. Just be sure to actively RP any encounters you might have and don't avoid everyone else. I think it's kind of freeing to play this way with less investment and more about living in the moment with no expectations some times.

Aelryn Bloodmoon
Arelith Supporter
Arelith Supporter
Posts: 2028
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:57 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Aelryn Bloodmoon » Sun Sep 19, 2021 7:44 pm

This is an incredibly contextual answer, but, make an "assistant" character.

What I mean by this, is make a character whose goal isn't to drive the story in any one direction, but to follow, enthusiastically, someone else's direction. This takes the onus off of you to come up with ideas as to how to get involved- and instead usually gives you goals that can be focused on and pushed towards with the support of others, because the kinds of characters an assistant character usually dedicates themselves to need the assistants because there's too much too do and too many people who need their attention.
Bane's tyranny is known throughout the continent, and his is the image most seen as the face of evil.
-Faiths and Pantheons (c)2002

User avatar
Emotionaloverload
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Posts: 1258
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:39 am

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Emotionaloverload » Mon Sep 20, 2021 2:21 am

TheBlueWizard wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 2:23 pm

How do you find the motivation to get yourself involved in RP on the server? If you find yourself in a rut were, for whatever reason, you're struggling to get invested in anything RP-wise, what do you tend to do to get yourself out of it?

Do you make a new character? Try a race you've never played before? Do you just throw yourself out there and see what happens? Do you try and generate an "event" or something yourself, be it a "let's all get together at the inn!" style affair?

What do you do if it's less of a game-side issue, and more of a life/lifestyle one? If you struggle for hours and only find yourself able to log on once or twice a week for a few hours, how do you try and find the motivation and time for any kind of meaningful or just fun RP? After that long shift/day at work, how do you get yourself in a mindset for some RP? Do you wait and limit yourself to a few hours when you know you're in the mood for it?

1) Generally when I am not in the mood to rp its because I need something easy, mindless and fun. I will usually grind. I LOVE to grind. I'm old now so its only a few days worth but its enough to cleanse my palette. If I don't even have time for that, I will find some new series to watch that doesn't take a lot of effort (nothing dramatic or embarrassing - I can't deal with characters embarrassing themselves).

Then I sit down and write a character for my energy level. I learned a long time ago that not every character you want to play is for right now. I keep notes on all potential characters and work on them when the mood strikes me. I will go through the list and see what character I have time and energy for. Nothing will bum you out more than making a character that you don't have time and energy to invest in. If you are like me, sometimes you will pick wrong because you are feeling young and optimistic that day and later have to quit said character. That happens. Move on and try again.

2) This is the situation I find myself in often this year. Between work, working out and family, there isn't a lot of time or energy to rp. The ways I overcome this are: play a character that fits the time I have, do not get involved deeply in DM events (I know this one sounds sad but its sadder when you keep missing the developments because of RL), I do not lead factions (second in command at best), I make sure I have a hub to play in.

The last bit is important but its not something you will find right off the bat. You need to figure out what your expected playtimes will be and see what region on the island has players that most fit your times. Fit yourself in there. Like that, you can always have a relatively stable place to rp and you will have a general sense of what to do with your time. Even if its something simple like getting harnak for a faction member. You were there, you did something to boost your group. I know its not "we killed a dragon lord terrorizing Cordor' exciting but not every day will be. Make sure your character has some personal goals that you can finish solo or with others. Like that you can make progress even if you are alone for a session or two.

Another great tool is using the IG boards, doors or -factions (or discord). People won't just be sitting around waiting for you to find them. Leave them notes or play speedy tag until you can meet up. This really works best when the projects you are working on aren't too urgent. Obviously if something must be done NOW then you will need to delegate or get help, if you don't have time for it. You can always get a helper; faction based or just hire an assistant.

Final point! If you don't like using discord, you should consider making -factions with the character you are looking for and adding messages there. Its what I do and it works great for setting up playdates.

-S
Formerly; Echo Hemlocke-Ralkai, Joshua Colt, Namil Evanara, Elanor Shortwick, Sawyer Brook, Kaylessa Dree, Sines Oliver Selakiir, Birgitta Birdie Swordhill, Bella Weartherbee, Arael Laceflower, Corbin, Rupert Silveroak, Hadi the Slave and others.

Varonmeer
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2019 9:10 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Varonmeer » Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:34 pm

My answer to the posts topic and leading premise is not the advice I would prescribe to you based on the following details. Short answer: for me it was trial and error until I landed on a character which was powerful enough, complex enough, and interesting enough that they were perpetually fun to play. This mostly came down to class/race/setting/build choices which I found all to be interesting. My past characters were lost to obscurity either because they were one dimensional or were not strong enough to solo the game content.

However our lifestyles and goals seem to be very different. To me it sounds like you need a character which has a built in rp hook. I'm thinking a bard street performer, a priest preaching the good(or insane) word, an artisan looking for clients, a criminal, or something like that. Approach strangers with some kind of believable encounter, and boom rp happens. The more interesting your character the better reactions you will get of course.

User avatar
Glowing Mushroom
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Posts: 232
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:41 am

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Glowing Mushroom » Wed Sep 22, 2021 10:28 pm

I think an important thing to remember about roleplaying is to remember to ROLEPLAY. That is, to play something/someone that you are NOT. Far too often do I see characters that are direct injections and mirrors of the player portraying themselves into the game. Yes, qualities of yourself will always leak through and reflect in even supremely well-roleplayed characters. But the point of roleplaying is to play someone who you are not; to make choices that you would not in real life. To be someone you are not. That's the purpose, and that's what makes it fun. Portraying too much of your whole self into a character not only defeats the purpose of the RP, but it can become really unhealthy as the line between roleplay and reality will begin to blur.

You don't always have to have an extensive backstory and lore written out for your character. It's perfectly natural to learn more about your character as you RP them. To this day people will ask Burin questions that he's never heard before, and I still learn more about him as I develop an answer to them. But a foundation is important, and I don't think you should ever go in blind with nothing more than a class build in mind, and make up the RP as you go along from the start.

RPing is fun and immersive and provides escapism from everything outside your screen. But you have to remember to actually RP!
Burin the Earthly.

Xerah
Posts: 2036
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2015 5:39 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Xerah » Wed Sep 22, 2021 10:45 pm

Emotionaloverload wrote:
Mon Sep 20, 2021 2:21 am
The last bit is important but its not something you will find right off the bat. You need to figure out what your expected playtimes will be and see what region on the island has players that most fit your times. Fit yourself in there. Like that, you can always have a relatively stable place to rp and you will have a general sense of what to do with your time. Even if its something simple like getting harnak for a faction member. You were there, you did something to boost your group. I know its not "we killed a dragon lord terrorizing Cordor' exciting but not every day will be. Make sure your character has some personal goals that you can finish solo or with others. Like that you can make progress even if you are alone for a session or two.
This is really great advice. I've been having this issue as well and finding time to do fun things when I couldn't do them the way I used to do (because of less time) is a bit demoralising. These are good and actionable ideas to help get past this.
Katernin Bersk, Chancellor of Divination; Kerri Amblecrown, Paladin of Milil; Xull'kacha Auvry'rae, Redcap Fey-pacted; Sadia yr Thuravya el Bhirax, Priestess of Umberlee; Lissa Whitehorn, Archmage of Artifice

Salasker
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2020 5:29 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Salasker » Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:05 am

Aradin wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:09 pm
... the real world has to come first.[/quote]
Edit: (^ I seriously don't know how this works, sorry Aradin...)

This is my own personal 'Zeroth Rule' for Arelith: Real Life before game, always. I often, half jokingly, tell people that this place needs a 12 step program, as I've never played any other game that can become as addicting as Arelith can. It's the closest I've ever come to the Pen and Paper experience, and it's why we all keep coming back.

My advice is to find something that you want to do, then transfer that to the character and start asking people for help. Maybe you're feeling like crafting and need materials, so you need help both in finding them and carrying them back. Maybe you want to go after certain types of monsters (hate for the undead, or orcs, or goblins, or giants... pick any of them), maybe you want to play politics, or perform, or get into languages... But if your character has a need, that will propel you to look for others that either share that interest or will help you to fulfill your goals.

I also agree with breaks. I have often heard, seen, or experienced personally where this game can start to feel like it's an unpaid job. Taking a break, especially with your schedule (worked in restaurants for years, so I empathize! Not to mention a partner, child and dog!) should never affect you in Real Life. It will, but try to keep in mind that it IS a game, one we play for fun. If it's not feeling that way, then step away until your batteries are recharged and you do have the time.

We'll be here waiting for you.

Arienette
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Arelith Platinum Supporter
Posts: 352
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 12:56 pm

Re: How do you find the motivation to RP, or, how to get out of a rut and get involved?

Post by Arienette » Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:48 am

Aelryn Bloodmoon wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 7:44 pm
This is an incredibly contextual answer, but, make an "assistant" character.

What I mean by this, is make a character whose goal isn't to drive the story in any one direction, but to follow, enthusiastically, someone else's direction. This takes the onus off of you to come up with ideas as to how to get involved- and instead usually gives you goals that can be focused on and pushed towards with the support of others, because the kinds of characters an assistant character usually dedicates themselves to need the assistants because there's too much too do and too many people who need their attention.
I heartily second this. I have found that I don’t have the “whatever it takes” to push big stories by myself. I’ve been around for almost 4 years and it hasn’t changed. Whenever I try to be “the protagonist” I find myself frustrated. I also find myself becoming overwhelmed when other players look to be to consistently force narrative. But I have had a TON of fun being a “sidekick” character. Among other things I have been:

Second Axe of Guldorand
“House Mage” to a family faction
“Court Wizard” to the Deep Legion
Chief Spy for a major faction
Apprentice to a warlock trying to start an Infernalist faction
Etc etc

Those have been the most fun times I have had on Arelith.

For those finding themselves having trouble getting into RP, create a “go anywhere do anything” character. Totem druids, monks, and wizard pale masters come to mind based on my own experience. Join a faction and make yourself useful as a supporting character and let the good times roll.

Post Reply