You meet your Character.

[InTheFlesh]

"Your country rather strongly reminds me of Cordor."

[WillTheTerrible]

Brenda would just pick up her greatsword, walk out the door and start smashing every car she sees while yelling insults to them.

[Valo65]

Valuil: "You foolish edan. You sit here playing games while the Balance of this world is at stake."
*polymorphs into an eagle to peck at some oil CEO's*
Me: "... That was divine magic. Well, guess I'm no longer an atheist. All hail the Seldarine and mother nature!"
*polymorphs into an eagle to peck at some oil CEO's*

[High Primate]

My characters? I would just run...

[Kalimere]

Keldan poofs in next to me.

Me: Its deer hunting season soon and we have two fields to hunt.
Keldan: ...Grand. Which one do I get?
Me: The one with the treeblind, I guess.
Keldan: Sounds good t'me, fella.
Both: *high five*
Me: ....try not to explode the deer though. And no death arrows or Hail of Arrows! Thats cheating.
Keldan: .... No promises.

[Preacher]

I see a conversation between me and Annabelle happening like...

Anna: "You mean you sit here...all day...playing...is that me?!"

Me: "Yeah....trust me...not really the best way of spending my time considering I have math homework I could be doing..."

Anna: "You mean you're acting to be a female rather than doing simple arithmatics?"

Me: "*shows precalculus homework* Simple?"

Anna: "Oh by Tempus, play the game! No more of this Infernal Numberings!*rips precalculus book*"

Me: "*stares at book for a moment, shrugs, goes back to playing games, enjoying the company of my favourite character*"

LOL Thought you would say, "They add letters in this infernal world?! *shreads pre-calculus book*

That or, "INSTRUCTION TO SUMMON A DEMON! I MUST DESTROY IT!"

[Mithradates]

*Brae appears*

Me: oh hi.
Brae: Ermm.. hail.
Me: Sooo... I like your dress.
Brae: Are you complementing yourself? You're the one who picked it out, after all.
Me: hah, you caught me!
Brae: Oh my gods, will you do my hair?! Just look at these ends.
Me: Oh my gods - YES!
*both squeal*
Together: Besties!!!!

[Preacher]

*Brae appears*
...
*both squeal*
Together: Besties!!!!

So tempted to add this to my signature quotes.

[Tathkar Eisgrim]

Me: *returning home, inserts key into lock. electrocuted by epic eletricity trap, running from nearby pylon*.
Gerin: *emerges from stealth. pickspocket of creator, relieving me of wallet. Gerin earns 2 XP. returns to stealth*.
Gerin: "ullo Guvnor."
Me: "ow."
Gerin: "wanna buy an 'ealth kit, mistah?" *bounces a ball*

[Bones Mist and Moons]

*Akari looks around the room, then stares at the nerdy person sitting at the desk*
Me:"Oh wow... Why this never happened browsing Halle Berry pictures..."
*Akari's eyes glow of a darker shade of red as she stares at the creator without any sign of emotion* "Konnichiwa, master. You are the avatar of Bane in this world, master?"
Me:"What? Bane? Oh no no no, I'm a lawful good person inside, you were just an exception... maybe?"
*Akari steps closer, narrowing her glowing eyes* "Why you pushed me to the vault of ovlivion and never finished my story?"
Me:"Nev..? Oh well.. Banites got boring, your build is hideous, kensai sucks and you got me into too much pvp..."
*Akari calmly adjusts her gloves, her eyes glowing brighter in a controlled rage* "Maybe is not too late, master-san. You kneel now and praise Bane. I could make use of you still"
Me:"What? Ah ah ah you're made of pixels, you can't hurt me... Seriously... I can -delete_char and..."
*Akari Steelcold hostiled you*
Me:"Oh damn... Wait... Not fair... It's against the rules... Not enough rp... I was not ready... My wife is an npc... You can't kill me in front of an npc... OOC ress after it?"
*Akari smirks and brings fist to palm in a disciplined bow* "Kensai can't read scrolls, think better next time, hai? Sayonara master..."
*splat*

Wow, this is about what I imagined would happen if Cross Felhawk was standing next to me all the sudden.

[Bones Mist and Moons]

My characters? I would just run...

*Thumbs up* Me too ...

Your not playing your evil character properly if you wouldn't lol.

[Jack Oat]

Fish: "Что ебешь это за дерьмо? Кто ебешь ты? Где ебешь я?"
Me: "Uhh... Commonski?"
He gives me a muted stare from under the helmet, muscles bulging faintly. I return a perplexed look from the computer, books strewn about the nearby desks. One of the papers happens to be a half-completed calculus problem. Instinctively, he picks up the pen, taking a moment to figure out how the Hell it works, and finishes the problem.
"How did y--" I ask, but am swiftly cut off as he moves through the next two problems.
"You no did carry two."

Another muted stare, between him and the book.
"...I was just testing you."

He looks to the TV nearby, watching as the reporter talks about ISIL. I look between him and the television, then, seeming rather at odds.
"Vell," He sighs, "Am goingk go for smite leetle Banite vannabe eh... Terrorist? Da, is this. You are comingk?"
"...What? Do you realize how far away that is? What we'd have to d--"
"....You make me, and you tink I care about how far avay?"
"Alright, lemme explain something. This entire planet? Yea, its governments are almost /all/ like Cordor."
"...Oh." There's a noticeable pause as he ponders. "Vhat about Silly-land and rock place?"
"You mean Syria and Iraq?"
"Da."
"No, they aren't like Cordor. They're like... Benwick."
"Then is no problem! Ve go, keel everytingk."
"No, no, no. I'm doing work. You can go smite the lowbie terrorists."
He offers a nonchalant shrug, wandering out. The plate upon him clanks to a halt as he gets stuck in the small doorframe. The delay, however, is temporary, as he swiftly just breaks the frame out and continues on, dropping a sack of coins on the ground.
"Is for door. No do die, is bad for health."

[The Man of the Moon]

Morkhav: Hey, you... would you like to stop making myself run so much to the wide and lenght of the Arelith island?

Me: Excuse me? *alarmed and raising a brow*

Morkhav: As you already heard, I am pretty tired of be running all day and all night, killing mobs and crossing the island,I would like to sup on something tasty and warm to change ... and to sleep in a soft bed! Besides, I have seen a waitress that...

Me: But the map... I need to expl...

Morkhav: Come on guy! Don't lie to me, you cannot lie to your alter ego! I know you are miserably lacking!

Me: Crap...

Morkhav: Yeah!

[Black Wendigo]

If I met Grendal Bloodwater IRL I would run away from my home and not return until he was gone.

[Rugnar]

If I met Grendal Bloodwater IRL I would run away from my home and not return until he was gone.

Until you realize he's faster

[Xarge VI]

I'd likely ask him why the hell are you in my home and drive him out as I wouldn't recognize Oliar from any normal people until I see in the news that a massive black hole is approaching the earth, then I'd know.

[Katze]

you wouldnt see the black hole coming, Xarge.

[PixilPixi]

Oh god. ---
Elzi: *blinks* so YOU made me?... And you know everything about me?
Me: ... Yes?
Elzi: *raises scythe*
Me: *gets the Snuggle a Bugbear out of there*
-----------------
Nhala: *runs the Snuggle a Bugbear away*
Me: -_-|||
"That went over swimmingly well."

[triaddraykin]

Mine would go rather well.

Angela Amana appears. After explaining much of the world's ways to her, her extremely high charisma allows her to politically take over the world, while her half-elven heritage gives her enough time to actually do so. With her ultimately good heart, a new era of peace would be ushered in. With her health and enchantments, she would be nigh-impossible to kill by mundane methods, and any terrorist cells will be handled like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o2ACEr9NmQ Fireball, Fireball... 0:35 would be IGMS... 1:35 is Delayed Blast Fireball... and 1:50 is Greater Ruin.
For the hell of it, since she can project fire at will, we'll say she can fly, with hand and foot thrusters, and with her innate fire resistance, it wouldn't harm her at all.

[Manabi]

Manobi - Hey, you want to join the Arcane Tower?
Me - Do what? Uh, I wouldn't really join it even if I could.
Manobi - Oh, do you follow Mystra?
Me - No
Manobi - *casts haste and invisibility and runs off*

[DirtyDeity]

Manobi - Hey, you want to join the Arcane Tower?
Me - Do what? Uh, I wouldn't really join it even if I could.
Manobi - Oh, do you follow Mystra?
Me - No
Manobi - *casts haste and invisibility and runs off*

Ahahahahahhaa oh my god I'm in tears. I love Manobi.

[L3]

Neville: Hallo. Idjit!
Me: What's that for?
Neville: Ye nevar did figgoor oot how ter do powar build. I mean rilly. I'rm epic level an got d'a AC of someun aboot level ten. Idkit!!!
Me: What are you doing with those darts?
Me: NO! Please stop! *while trying to run out of the room*
Me: *Falls down and bleeds out*

[DaTexican]

Roi: Hello
Me: Uh well this is different
Roi: Is this your turff Home?
Me: Uhhh ya, you could say that.
Roi: Where's the cookin pot?
Me: Upstairs
Roi: Your turff home has two levels!?
Me: Ya
Roi: You must be quite wealthy
Me: Begins to laugh
Roi: Whats so funny?
Me: *wipes tears away* Oh that you think I am wealthy
Roi: You arn't?
Me: No I had my fortune stolen many many years ago
Roi: You did? Who stole it?
Me: A very evil man
Roi: Is he still of this world?
Me: Sadly
Roi: Do not worry, he will pay eventually. So what do you do for fun?
Me: Play you
Roi: Play me? Intriguing. How do you do that?
Me: *begins using ASDW to move her*
Roi: Oi, what the...
Me: *Stops*
Roi: What foul magic is this
Me: The power of the Internet.
Roi: Whats the internet?
Me: Oh an invention the Arcane tower came up with before it devoured them and became an unstoppable force that consumes the lives of people around the world all day and all night ever day forever
Roi: We must hunt this Internet down. It has destoryed the balance of this world.
Me: Suppose thats true.
Roi: *whistles, and shortly after two wolves can be heard howling at the door upstairs. Then wildshapes into a wolf and askes if I am joining her*
Me: *Grabs his backpack full of his IT gear* Alright then lets go hunt us some internets!

[soundsofastream]

Xalanthia: Greatings of the Age to you! Where is the nearest dead dragon?
Me: Umm..the museum why?
Xalanthia: We need to raise it, so that it can rule the world!!!
Me: Well, I guess that's better than Obama or George Bush ruling it, sure, I'll take you there immediately! Hop into magic 'steam powered' cart...I call it, the Dreadnought...

[Rystefn]

Rystefn meets Koko:

"Life is beautiful"
"It is. Pie is delicious."
"It is. This is boring."
"It is. Want to go run in the woods?"
"Let's do it."
*Fist bump*