Capture RP

[Hazard]

I guess this is on topic for a capture RP thread, so I'mma just throw it out there.

I'd really, really like for more long-term prisoner stuff. I don't know if we just need to set up more in-depth prisons for this to organically happen, or a -badge prisoner command to indicate you're totally DTP (down to .. prison) or if it's just a culture thing.

But one of my, still to this day, favourite memories of Guard vs Bad Guy RP was the old Cordor jails, my necromancer got caught with a zombie in the iron mines by a scrier (Peony?) just out of bad luck (they were scrying the person I was with) and when she got back to town, she was arrested and thrown in jail (by Hogdish I think?), and they kept me in there for days (with my approval!), and whenever I'd be logged on, they'd come check up on me and RP with me or send some other guards to, and it was just really really fun and cool for me, and very immersive. I adored it.

I desperately want to do some more long-term prisoner stuff on one of my characters, but prison seems like a pretty temporary thing on modern arelith, where you're really just there for a short while until being fined/executed/whatever.

We need a chant or something to encourage this.
Lock me up! Lock me up! Lock me up!

[MarkRed]

Capture or Slavery RP is so fun when you're locked alone in a cell with no Guard or Captor to harass or question you. And being a Captor is so enjoyable when your Slave is unconscious in their cell whenever you go and check on them. /s

Then, assuming I accept the offer, that will most likely be followed up with, "By the way, we should coordinate playtimes, so what's your username on discord?" And by that point, your separation between IC and OOC is probably so muddled that you may as well just consider the character a self-insert.

I don't understand this point. Probably one of the worst feelings ever, is starting a plot-line with someone, only to find out that you both have terribly incompatible timezones and you only met this one time based on sheer luck.

OOC communication has it's place, and this one them. There are so many more creepy and offensive ways to break immersion than a few words of green text, not that I personally think a brief OOC poke is in anyway creepy or offensive. If your immersion is that fragile there are likely other contributors to it's breaking, and you should probably turn on -notells.

Also there are plenty of players who have dozens of other Arelith players as Discord friends, and don't at all have issues with self-inserting. It seems like you're applying a blanket insult and accusation of blending and bleeding to basically every player with a Discord, which is a fairly large amount of the playerbase.

[Hazard]

Then, assuming I accept the offer, that will most likely be followed up with, "By the way, we should coordinate playtimes, so what's your username on discord?" And by that point, your separation between IC and OOC is probably so muddled that you may as well just consider the character a self-insert.

This, especially.

Being asked to co-ordinate playtimes, to me, is not appropriate. I'll be logged in when I'm logged in, and planning in advance for our characters to log in at the same time, while in THIS scenario may seem harmless, it usually isn't.

Let's say it becomes a norm (as if it isn't already) and you co-ordinate play times with others. Now you are an OOC Discord faction with a severe mechanical advantage over anyone roleplaying organically and genuinely. You will always be logging in together, with at least someone, while others will not and be able to be caught alone in conflict, which then incentivises them to metagame similarly.

Sorry, but to me this is cheating. Yes, I'm judging people who do this. Shame.

Maybe this sounds like a slippery slope, but to me, asking for a Discord to co-ordinate anything out of game is a huge red flag, and makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Hard pass.

Even in the most extreme of cases of being a DM or co-ordinating some event, there's already in-game factions and message boards and mechanical means to do this all in-game, in-module, even in-character. No one needs LIVE, INSTANT, OOC communication while "roleplaying". It's a crutch. It's a bad habit. You should improve, and move away from it.

I mean, not you, specifically. This hypothetical person I just made up, you.

[The GrumpyCat]

Sending a tell to confirm a rez along the lines of, "I'm the guy who just killed you, is it cool if we raise you for some follow-up RP?" Yeah, sure, that's acceptable, I guess - after all, it's part of the rules of engagement, so I wouldn't grudge any player for doing that.

But let's say I accept the rez, and we're going through the scene, and things are progressing naturally in a way that's going to mean an unpleasant experience for my character. If I got a tell that said something like, "Is it okay if we do X?" or, "Is there anywhere you'd like for your character to be scarred?" or even, "What would you say is your character's least favorite finger?" - then that gets into some annoyance territory.

But sure, whatever, let's say I answer the inquiry, and we continue through the scene. But now, oh no, it appears my character is either too enjoyable to roleplay with, or too important or valuable as an asset, so I'm getting another tell: "Hey, is it alright if we make your character our slave?" Of course, that's going to lead to a whole conversation all its own, which will further detract from the scene as details are discussed and decided upon.

Then, assuming I accept the offer, that will most likely be followed up with, "By the way, we should coordinate playtimes, so what's your username on discord?" And by that point, your separation between IC and OOC is probably so muddled that you may as well just consider the character a self-insert.

I don't think anything past step 1 is really helping the scene or improving the roleplay experience. It's just taking me out to the moment and bogging the whole interaction down with OOC contrivances. When I get messages like that, it honestly feels more like you're uncomfortable with the roleplay, and you want to project those feelings onto me and put me in a position where I need to comfort you as a way to validate your choices. Don't play a villain if you don't enjoy doing villainous things!

Also, +1 to Marsi's comment.

I rarely do this, but I'm actually going to call out really BAD ADVICE here.

The first few points - ok fair enough. Though keep in mind if someone is actually killed, and you want to do capture rp you NEED their ooc permission for a raise.

And again - personally If anything is getting particularly remotly spicy (your second point) I dont' think there's much wrong with sending a message like 'You ok with this? Let us know if you arn't.' or any of the above. I don't personally think that's a big deal and it builds a bit of trust.

But both of these are, I'll admit, relitivly optional and not the end of the world if not done

If slavery is being considered I'd ALWAYS go to ooc tells to
*confirm someone is ok with this
*Possibly discuss other ideas if not
*If ok with it - make SURE they know what it entails rules/mechanics wise - it is a potentially BIG deal
*Yes, to make sure whoever 'owns' their pc is on at approximatly similar playtimes

Yes, immersion is nice but you know what? Playability is far more important. Every time I'd much, much, much rather ruin a players imersion by making sure they know what mechanical situation they were getting into, and we were getting into, than potentially put them in a sitatiuon that makes them roll their pc, or makes them otherwise extremely miserable.

So... yeah, if you want to turn on No-tells and go full on? go for it! I honestly truly admire it! Good for you!

But I think as a captor a little ooc - especaillly when you're doing things that can SEVERELY impact the fun/playability of a character is a VERY good idea.

[MarkRed]

I rarely do this, but I'm actually going to call out really BAD ADVICE here...

...But I think as a captor a little ooc - especaillly when you're doing things that can SEVERELY impact the fun/playability of a character is a VERY good idea.

Just everything here +1

[MissEvelyn]

We didn't need Discord or instant messaging 10 or even 20 years ago to play on Arelith. And the same is true now; you really don't need to be on discord to play in a faction, or to find roleplay.

Arelith already has in-game OOC faction messages. And unlike message boards, they require no paper and can freely be used (provided you have the right permission).

But, I digress. As for capture RP, if both players are informed of the rules, then there shouldn't be a need for OOC communication. If there is, wouldn't that be an incentive to implement a mechanical solution that replaces the need for OOC communication?

[Babylon System is the Vampire]

Some people will ask OOCly and then not act until they give confirmation, though, and that REALLY takes me out of it. Now I'm making an IC decision through OOC tells and I'm not comfortable with that. That really pulls me out because my response will determine what roleplay happens next. Usually I'll just respond with a 'do whatever your character would do' or 'I'm easy, whatever happens happens' in an attempt to not influence them.

This is likely the best paragraph written in this entire thread explaining why I dislike ooc conversations during these things.

Two things to remember.

1) We all agree to an unwritten contract that bad things can happen to our character, and its consistently brought up on these forums and even in game through the phrase "when bad things happen to good adventurers". Why that's not being applied here by some is beyond me.

2) If you get subdued, the system has a tool that allows you to choose death. Since anyone serious about capture rp should be using the subdual mode, by choosing death you are essentially saying "I'm not down to be your captive" without any ooc coordination. This is actually MUCH better for the victim, because there is no fear of feeling pressured into doing something you don't want to do. And, honestly, most of these ooc conversations sound more like a sales pitch saying "you will have fun as our prop while we sacrifice you to lloth" or whatever rather than any real genuine concern for my well-being, at least in my experience. If I have the time, I am the sort of player that will come along and let you do your thing, but I definitely think these ooc communications are more for the captor and not the captive. They want permission to be the bad guy, despite how it's being presented in this thread. And I THINK that's the point Irongron was trying to make in his post.

And if they don't use subdual and go the raise route, you can also refuse the raise thanks to a newer tool.

So, I ask this seriously and with full on curiosity, why do people think we NEED some ooc conversation again?

[DM Raven]

I'll weigh in a little just to comment on players being informed about the rules...

This is the ideal situation! However the ideal isn't always what we get. There are several instances where players will be unfamiliar with certain rules or nuances. While we are ever striving to get people on the same level of understanding, having a temporary means to bridge the gap is, in my opinion, a good thing!

[Cthuletta]

I desperately want to do some more long-term prisoner stuff on one of my characters, but prison seems like a pretty temporary thing on modern arelith, where you're really just there for a short while until being fined/executed/whatever.

Being asked to co-ordinate playtimes, to me, is not appropriate. I'll be logged in when I'm logged in, and planning in advance for our characters to log in at the same time, while in THIS scenario may seem harmless, it usually isn't.

So I definitely agree with your first point, given the general 'rule' is to not leave a captive alone where-ever they may be held, since standing around in a cell by yourself is no fun. However, having someone held for longer periods of time instead of just being a temporary thing until whatever conclusion is reached can add to an experience, assuming that other player is okay with the fact that a guard or 'bad guy' captor won't ALWAYS be around, as everyone has lives away from Arelith.

However, your second point also confuses me slightly. I would NEVER leave someone in a cell or holding area as a captive/prisoner for an extended period of time, without some sort of OOC consent or co-ordination, given I may not know if that player's times line up with my own, and like I said earlier, sitting around by yourself just isn't fun. I don't wanna lock somebody up, only to realize later, uh oh, I met this person because I was staying up waaaaay later than usual, and they tend to get on at like 3AM my time.

In places like Cordor specifically, this is a little more easily navigated given the sheer volume of guards who can access the cells. But take Andunor for example, and you're pretty much relying on whatever faction that has you held to come play with you consistently, and most factions have players with similar play-times even without that OOC co-ordination since consistent RP has occurred (most of the time) to join that faction already.
In that same vein, it might be the captor/guard who might not want a longer-term roleplay, and if the captive does, there would need to be an agreement made there.
I'm of the mindset that OOC communication shouldn't be REQUIRED, but in situations like this, it definitely helps.

In your personal opinion (and anyone else's), how would you go about engaging in a longer term capture/prisoner RP, without that OOC communication? Even with a 'DTP' Tag, I feel you'd still need to speak and figure out how a longer-term situation would work, and communication seems a bit necessary for that. I'd love an alternative that would respect another player's preference for no green-text and total immersion, and such a thing would only serve to heighten that communication, just on a 'silent' level. So, very interested in alternative ideas for that!

[Spriggan Bride]

I can’t play more than 15 hours a week anymore. I am not agreeing to be a captive for someone who can’t tell me when to be around to follow up. It doesn’t need to be on Discord, this can be handled in two tells. If I was 20 again and could be around all day it would be a different story but I’m not.

I understand and appreciate having your own high standards but if you’re bringing someone else into a situation where you hold all the cards I think you need to be a little more flexible.. or accept you’re going to have a lot of players turn you down.

[Babylon System is the Vampire]

Sorry, I know I am posting a lot in the same thread and I am actively trying to cut down on doing that, but I felt like I personally needed to clarify this-

Of course, if you have someone in a cell or whatever with no resolution in sight you should communicate about what happens next. That's completely different than asking what people are cool with right after beating them down in pvp. They have the tools to opt out at a few points and hopefully if they miss that window but something changed they will speak up themselves.

[MarkRed]

and hopefully if they miss that window but something changed they will speak up themselves.

Like send an OOC message, breaking the Captor's immersion? How dare they.

[Ork]

If slavery is being considered I'd ALWAYS go to ooc tells to
*confirm someone is ok with this
*If ok with it - make SURE they know what it entails rules/mechanics wise - it is a potentially BIG deal

is this a rule for players to abide by when interacting with the slavery system? Are we required to gain consent through ooc tells or is the system prompts sufficient for players to understand the ramifications of accepting the slavery collar?

[Eira]

It seems clear that the people who have concerns about immersion are talking about a lot of OOC tells, instead of one or two over the course of the scene to clear up things. Treating them as ridiculous by virtue of implying that a single tell will completely shatter the experience for them seems disingenuous to having an actual discussion about it.

I am fine with tells; I talk to people occasionally through them for a back and forth, even if not for consent purposes. I also wouldn't like someone to ask "is this okay?" after every single thing they post, as a drastic example. Each person has a threshold for when "okay" turns into "too much".

You can do bare minimum ensuring consent; communicating personal things that are necessary to know, etc etc.

[chris a gogo]

Re: Capture RP
Unread post by Ork » 12 Jun 2023 04:57

The GrumpyCat wrote: ↑11 Jun 2023 11:18
If slavery is being considered I'd ALWAYS go to ooc tells to
*confirm someone is ok with this
*If ok with it - make SURE they know what it entails rules/mechanics wise - it is a potentially BIG deal

is this a rule for players to abide by when interacting with the slavery system? Are we required to gain consent through ooc tells or is the system prompts sufficient for players to understand the ramifications of accepting the slavery collar?

Probably not a rule but id like to be asked because I personally detest the slavery system.
If I get captured made a prisoner fine i'll go along with it all for an hour or so. But if I did that then got oh your now going to be my slave crap thrown at me I would log off with a bad opinion of the player. Plus the feeling that they had just wasted a couple of hours of my time.
You know rather than a simple tell at the start of " hey mate were planning on making you a slave that okay?".
To which I would reply " no i'd rather respawn".

[The GrumpyCat]

If slavery is being considered I'd ALWAYS go to ooc tells to
*confirm someone is ok with this
*If ok with it - make SURE they know what it entails rules/mechanics wise - it is a potentially BIG deal

is this a rule for players to abide by when interacting with the slavery system? Are we required to gain consent through ooc tells or is the system prompts sufficient for players to understand the ramifications of accepting the slavery collar?

Not a rule, but personally I'd consider it a bloody good idea.
Currently I think the system prompts are good enough? But I've heard that some people don't bother reading them and just skim through. Ultimately (harsh as this may sound) that's a user side error.

My advice comes on the terms of
a) A (possibly silly?) Idea that the vast majority of players want to see other players have fun, or at least not be miserable.
b) That if you're going to go through the cost/effort of taking a pc slave, you'll want some use/interaction with that slave.

Doing the above helps make sure the person is ok with it, and has a better chance of being happy with it, and also maks sure that you arn't effectily throwing time/money away by organizng some possibly very long term and essential rp with someone who lives in an entirely different time zone to you.

I do get that it breaks immerson a little, but imo the effective payoff is worth it.

[A Ray of Sunshine]

Absurd.

This entire thread is absurd.

Yes, you should ooc communicate with other players when the stakes are high. That's what Being Nice is. The arena of the IC does not give you supremacy over the OOC. There are other actual human beings behind those characters.

Yes, there is nuance in consent. There's a SEA of difference between "we're rezzing you to RP" and "we're rezzing you to enslave you". Pretending the two are equivalent is facetious at best.

Yes, some subject matters are incredibly sensitive to folks. Some subject matters are potentially traumatic, may awaken existing traumas, or may be simply so disturbing that the other person should have a clear ooc opt out. I've seen enough graphic depictions of torture RP, cannibalism RP and worse that -didn't- happen to one of my characters to last me a lifetime.

Asking a simple question should not be seen as the death of RP. It should, however, be seen as a sign of a great antagonist/roleplayer/person when they briefly take off the mask to ensure the other person is also having fun. That the story being told is collaborative, not authoritative.

"Bad things happen to good adventurers" is an easily abused mantra and should be taken with a grain of salt.

[Babylon System is the Vampire]

Absurd.

This entire thread is absurd.

Yes, you should ooc communicate with other players when the stakes are high. That's what Being Nice is. The arena of the IC does not give you supremacy over the OOC. There are other actual human beings behind those characters.

Yes, there is nuance in consent. There's a SEA of difference between "we're rezzing you to RP" and "we're rezzing you to enslave you". Pretending the two are equivalent is facetious at best.

Yes, some subject matters are incredibly sensitive to folks. Some subject matters are potentially traumatic, may awaken existing traumas, or may be simply so disturbing that the other person should have a clear ooc opt out. I've seen enough graphic depictions of torture RP, cannibalism RP and worse that -didn't- happen to one of my characters to last me a lifetime.

Asking a simple question should not be seen as the death of RP. It should, however, be seen as a sign of a great antagonist/roleplayer/person when they briefly take off the mask to ensure the other person is also having fun. That the story being told is collaborative, not authoritative.

"Bad things happen to good adventurers" is an easily abused mantra and should be taken with a grain of salt.

I get your perspective, and I think it comes from a good place. But ultimately, the one premise you got wrong makes the whole thing wrong.

The Stakes are not high, it's just a video game.

If you are triggered by anything that can happen during capture situations or are worried about a threshold that would be too far for you before it even gets to that, then you should just use one of the options chose not to participate. It's really that simple, and people who like to fully invest into their character and can be thrown off by having to make ic decisions ooc because of these conversations should not have to suffer because folks aren't making the right choices for themselves.

[A Ray of Sunshine]

The Stakes are not high, it's just a video game.

It has already been mentioned in this thread by someone with a green name that many tabletop RP systems are moving to acknowledge that things aren't 'just a game'. Red lines, X-cards, session zeroes, taboo tokens, and other systems exist because, funny enough, there's no requirement that -physical harm- needs to be possible in order for something to be -harmful-.

And if the whole point of why this is fun for the people who engage in this thing is 'because I get to drag an unwilling player along with it', then those people have some serious self searching to do.

It is not "just a video game" when real people are on the other side of the character.

Edited for clarity

[magistrasa]

I wish we lived in a world where nuance could exist in these kinds of conversations, and people understood the incomprehensibly vast gap between, "Minimal OOC communication to preserve narrative integrity," and, "Dragging unwilling players along with the story."

I also wish people understood that you literally can't "force" anyone to follow along with anything when the option to log out is readily available but whatever I guess I'm the devil for adopting and encouraging practices to minimize OOC bleedover and reducing exposure to manipulative emotional blackmail. All I can say is, I'm having a good time and so do the people who play with me, so I think it's fair to say that whatever I'm doing has some merit to it, and if you're experiencing the same with your own thing then that probably means whatever you do also has some merit. good luck have fun

[Babylon System is the Vampire]

And if the whole point of why this is fun for the people who engage in this thing is 'because I get to drag an unwilling player along with it', then those people have some serious self searching to do.

I think you missed the perspective of people on the other side of this from you if this is what you took from it, because to a man or woman they have all said as the captive they don't want any tells asking if they are alright. They are not saying they don't want to check on folks well-being, even though they probably don't because of the do unto others part of all that, but rather as the captive it can be rather jarring to be already frustrated after losing and having someone try and sell you on what they are about to do with you as a prop, and how fun it will be. Not to mention that it takes one out of the moment. The only reason for this game to still exist is that we get to pretend to be fantastical characters together in a way that none of the newer games offer. You take that away and make all the characters avatars of the person across the interwebs from you, you really might as well be playing something more modern.

It has already been mentioned in this thread by someone with a green name that many tabletop RP systems are moving to acknowledge that things aren't 'just a game'. Red lines, X-cards, session zeroes, taboo tokens, and other systems exist because, funny enough, there's no requirement that -physical harm- needs to be possible in order for something to be -harmful-.

This is the first time I am reading anything like this (I must have missed it above) but anyone doing this isn't doing anyone any favors and is probably just trying to capitalize on the realization that a good bit of their playerbase is devoid of any sense of reality.

It is just a game, and pretending it isn't doesn't make things better for anyone, it just makes things weird.

[A Ray of Sunshine]

Was I unclear? All I'm saying is that there should be a quick mask-off moment when things are about to get serious. I don't think DMs should need to be involved, I don't think it should be a part of the rules of conduct. Gods know I don't want us to have to keep Shadowplay running during RP just so we can send evidence to the DMs after the fact like its some kind of dashcam insurance fraud situation (pvp is litigious enough as it is). I think it's just what a right-minded and considerate person would do.

That to me IS the nuance. To say "NO, OOC BAD! ZERO OOC!" is not nuanced. To say "OOC ALWAYS, EVERYTHING MUST BE COORDINATED OOC AND SIGNED IN TRIPLICATE!" is not nuanced. "This RP might lead to slavery. Just FYI before you accept this rez." Is where the nuance lies.

"This setting is pseudo medieval, and therefore we should expect each other to behave in medieval ways to one another" is a bit of a hot take. Are we doing character vs character, or player vs player here? Is it about the story, or about the other guy? Did I misunderstand that quote too?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Card

For further reading, if it is desired.

And to press on another point, sadly a "logout" often isn't an option. If someone logs out in the middle of 'consequences' RP, that's a reportable offense.

[Amateur Hour]

If slavery is being considered I'd ALWAYS go to ooc tells to
*confirm someone is ok with this
*If ok with it - make SURE they know what it entails rules/mechanics wise - it is a potentially BIG deal

is this a rule for players to abide by when interacting with the slavery system? Are we required to gain consent through ooc tells or is the system prompts sufficient for players to understand the ramifications of accepting the slavery collar?

Not a rule, but personally I'd consider it a bloody good idea.
Currently I think the system prompts are good enough? But I've heard that some people don't bother reading them and just skim through. Ultimately (harsh as this may sound) that's a user side error.

There's a lot of us on the server who have literally no idea what those prompts contain; while I've never played a slaver before, I'd hope there's somewhere that we can see what prospective slave character players are told before they mechanically accept the collar, because I certainly would be wary of trusting that the system tells the player enough to understand how much it's going to determine their character's future and viability.

[TheEssence]

and it builds a bit of trust.

I think this couldn't be stressed enough. At the end of the day, speaking for myself, I like to think of playing here like being around a table with friends.
Maybe friends I'll never go out with for booze and football matches at the pub, but the minute I build that bit of trust, it becomes WAY more easy to deal with IC consequences keeping a cool head and even taking a chance to further your character story.
Personally my last capture rp was amazing. My captors reached out to make sure I was fine and made sure I was actually enjoying my time as a prisoner.
The issue I honestly see here is the amount of time 'captures' seem to happen. That somewhat risks to make the whole experience cliché or even some sort of chore "Hey X got kidnapped" "Wasn't Y?" "Nah yesterday she got rescued along with Z, today we discuss X freedom or take him back"

[The GrumpyCat]

I wish we lived in a world where nuance could exist in these kinds of conversations, and people understood the incomprehensibly vast gap between, "Minimal OOC communication to preserve narrative integrity," and, "Dragging unwilling players along with the story."

I also wish people understood that you literally can't "force" anyone to follow along with anything when the option to log out is readily available but whatever I guess I'm the devil for adopting and encouraging practices to minimize OOC bleedover and reducing exposure to manipulative emotional blackmail. All I can say is, I'm having a good time and so do the people who play with me, so I think it's fair to say that whatever I'm doing has some merit to it, and if you're experiencing the same with your own thing then that probably means whatever you do also has some merit. good luck have fun

This is exactly why - speaking personally - I DO want to use a little bit of OOC.
If I'm in that area of empowerment, i want to stress to the other player that my expectations are pretty much 0 and that whilst my pc may have the reigns, OOCly they're still very much in charge of their characters destiny, but we can work together to make a more interesting story.
Communication... in general... is good. You're right of course, there's a difference between a massive greentext wall of 'You should agree to be my pcs slave, because if you don't you're a terrible roleplayer and I'll tell the DMs on you!'
And
'Haya, considering slavery as a rout to go down? If you're potentailly OK with that OOCly let me know, if not absolutly fine, we'll work out something else!'
So yes, as Eira said, the type of communication and amount of it definatly matters. Indeed, if anyone experiences that first type (pressuring into something, especially something like slavery as a consequence) I'd strongly consider reporting it, as that's just terrible form.
But a bit of gentle ooc, in my opinion, does no harm.

The Stakes are not high, it's just a video game.

This is a fantastic attitude to take. I honestly truly admire it. It's something I keep in my mind when I play. It's something I VERY strongly recommend other people keep in mind.
But.
Sadly - it's also evidently not true.
If all of our playerbase had the above in mind, we'd never get any reports about bad PvP. Because everyone would laugh it off and go 'Lol It's just a computer game!'
If no one was bothered or upset by things that happened in game, we wouldn't have rules against mentioning rape, homophobia, Real Life Racism, graphic harm to small children, ect.
You don't have to even be a survivor of such things, to find them increadibly uncomfortable.
An example - since having my son, I've found scenes in films/TV where small children are put in peril/extremely upset to be... much harder to watch, if I can watch them at all. I don't object to such scenes existing mark you, but they're that bit harder for me to feel comfortable with.
Likewise, maybe someone doesn't like gorey scenes, or mutilation scenes, or so on even scenes of beatings, or scenes where they're even just menaced. Like - don't get me wrong, our Rating system should really cut out the worst of this stuff... but it can be useful to make sure the other player is Ok with a quick 'Haya, things may get a bit nasty so please shoot me a tell if you want me to tone back/stop/anything bothers you ect.' Or to assure someone that such things won't happen - but to continue with the capture rp in away that makes everyone comfortable.

Further more - it's not even just about ooc comfort.
I love capture RP personally. Like you, I t end to be pretty good with seperating myself. I don't mind if my pc gets beaten, tortured, humiliated ect. Pile it on! It's generally just a character to me and suffering builds story for me. (Maybe I'm wierd in that? Fair enough if I am!)
But that said - I do have a small child who I may need to drop everything for and attend to at any moment, so I may have to vanish unexpectedly.. You might have captured me at 1am when I was just about to log. You might want to enslave my pc and my reasons for 'no' might not be trauma or dislike of the slavery system - it might just be t hat I don't see it working for /that particular/ character. but at the same time might be ok with something else, which might be fun for us both (being a prisoner, being randsomed, beng brainwashed, being tormented by unending puns...)

Again yes - there's definatly bad ways to communicate to people. But that doesn't mean all communication is bad.