I love you all. <3

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dominantdrowess
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I love you all. <3

Post by dominantdrowess » Thu May 25, 2023 5:40 am

I try to be invincible for people-- Usually bad things start on my day off when I need for my nephew. Usually, something I warn people not to do. I love the team of Arelith, I love the player base.. but I just am to the point where I've wanted to throw up for two weeks now over this Narissorin thing and so-on. I care, a lot about people's RP. I care too much.

I literally just can't do it anymore. I'm unable to stay IC at this point and I logged off before I did anything OOC. And it's not going to get better. There's too much OOC stuff countless individuals put on my shoulders about he-said/she-said/who's alt is who's and who belonged to what faction in the ye-old, and 'if so and so joins our faction, I'm quitting' -- even though I entirely avoid active faction discords for precisely this reason. No-tells isn't a solution either. I don't know what is.

I am saying my goodbyes, and I transferred things IC, gave them notes as to my character's intents, and I am going to take a mental-health break for a sustained period.

In the last week, I've had people threaten to leave the faction if someone else joined because of OOC experiences with them years earlier on other characters. I've had everyone and their mother trying to dig into everyone's alt histories. Tons of people telling me OOC about events while absolutely refusing to tell me IC when our characters are supposed to be allies and then getting mad when my character acts on information she has because everyone is demanding she do so.

I'm a roleplayer. I'm not here to win. I'm here act, and write with all of you. I love you Arelith. Possibly too much. I don't blame anyone in particular. The weight and the number of discord messages I get on a daily basis about recent events and OOC gossip I didn't ask to see.. that even otherwise upstanding members of the community can't help but copy-pasta at me.. is crushing.

Even being retired, and needing only one day off each week (Sunday, the day crazy stuff always seems to happen..)

I love talking about RP. But you can't ever, ever let that OOC substitute the RP and then get mad at people over them not meta-gaming - and I'm going back to collaborative text and private-message-based RP. I love you all; anyone who wants to reach me can always hit me on Discord -- I'm still on the Arelith Discord if you need me. Peace, lovely people.

I love you all, and I was trying to be a good example. I'm sorry I couldn't be strong enough to keep going. I legitimately care about all of your stories and spent almost all my time trying to understand them.

P.S. I didn't get in any OOC trouble or anything. I didn't roll. I just can't keep giving people what they need from me so frequently; and it's become virtually impossible over the last two weeks to run a faction without OOC coordination that I'm not willing to participate in. Nobody should individually blame yourself or anyone else - I insist - I wouldn't have done it so long with so many if I didn't enjoy our time immensely. It's just everything, everywhere, all at once, all of the time ... and my own unwillingness to keep putting as much time in; completely unable to keep IRL schedules or limit my hours. Arelith rocks.

Last edited by dominantdrowess on Thu May 25, 2023 10:16 am, edited 7 times in total.

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Rei_Jin
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Rei_Jin » Thu May 25, 2023 6:53 am

Get some rest.

Much love.


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Morgy
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Morgy » Thu May 25, 2023 8:46 am

Take care of yourself.

I can understand where you're coming from. Older the server, the more rivalries there end up being that are OOC.

Goodluck!


magistrasa
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by magistrasa » Thu May 25, 2023 10:15 am

Having taken these kinds of breaks before, I know you're making a very healthy decision. The time you spend away from Arelith is often the time in which you experience the most growth, both emotionally and creatively. This is just part of the process we all have to go through to gain perspective and strengthen our character. I have no doubt that a break will be good for you, and I'm excited to see what discoveries you've made and the ways you've changed when you return!

× Career Sharran × MILF Supreme × Artist (Allegedly) ×
Will Trade Art For Groceries Again Eventually


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Jack Oat
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Jack Oat » Thu May 25, 2023 11:52 am

If the reactions you're getting include things like "I'm leaving if so-and-so joins!" then maybe the person saying that is worth uh... letting leave? Without knowing all the details I can't say.

But, it's natural to feel that kind of stuff when you are, like you said, maybe a bit too invested.

Something to consider, and hear me out, would be a new char. Something fresh, no connections, no predestined story, no massive background on the server with a million-and-one connections (IC or OOC). Just a plain-Jane unordained newby fresh off the Ferry into the wide world of Arelith. Taking that kind of step back/away also helps you separate from maybe some of the toxic OOC influences you mentioned and can do wonders for mental health.

Take it as you will.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Garrbear wrote:

quite bluntly we can't balance the server around people who don't play well

Irongron wrote:

My main takeaway from this is that Jack is apparently personable


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Royal Blood
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Royal Blood » Thu May 25, 2023 1:35 pm

<3 you Sassy.

Do what works for you!

A fresh perspective can be good. And just taking a step back sometimes is best.

Be well!

I am not on a team.
I do not win, I do not lose.
I tell a story, and when I'm lucky,
Play a part in the story you tell too.

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Beernerd81
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Beernerd81 » Thu May 25, 2023 1:57 pm

When the game becomes a source of stress instead of a relief, it's time to take a break. I wish you all the best and hope you can come back and have fun again when you're ready.

Hunter548 wrote:Variety is often overrated. Sucking at 15 things is not better than being good at 3.
Wytchee wrote:Please roleplay all classes listed on your character sheet.

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Edens_Fall
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Edens_Fall » Fri May 26, 2023 1:13 pm

Enjoy the rest, if any have earned it . . . you have.

Last edited by Edens_Fall on Sat May 27, 2023 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Retratserif
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Retratserif » Fri May 26, 2023 8:19 pm

This is the main reason I left the UD totally. I felt that no one cared about story progression, lore or even cared about the time that players put into their characters. It sucks when you feel this way. Especially when I really do love UD lore. That is practically all I know. All I wanted to do. But never could do it. I definitely did not feel welcomed to play there. The mentioned group, and others made it clear, no matter what character I played, or how I played them.... I was not welcomed. So I left.

I can think of over 30 players that have left over the same feelings. Not many are still on the server.

No way out situation are not fun.


perseid
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by perseid » Fri May 26, 2023 9:40 pm

You'll be missed <3 Having known Saslae across two fairly long-lived characters, with a gap in the middle for a hiatus on my part, I really enjoyed seeing the evolution of Saslae that I got to see as well as getting to witness the direction she helped steer the Xun'viir in from two different perspectives. You were an amazing player to get to interact with and I hope you find the experience you're after down the line in those other mediums.

Edit: P.S., your alt was an incredible character to meet during my introduction to the server on Skaljard with my first main. I still frequently think about those days as the ideal experience I hope everyone gets to have when they're new and it wouldn't have been the same at all if I'd never met you then.


Sundial
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Sundial » Fri May 26, 2023 11:52 pm

May the new means of collaborative storytelling you find be just as creatively nourishing as what you found on Arelith. It is out there waiting for you. I wish you well!

Ekrid Aulanther
Tashtego
Isak Kerringar
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MintoCloudpaw
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by MintoCloudpaw » Sat May 27, 2023 1:29 am

Hope you feel better soon! I've enjoyed your RP; but sometimes you just need rest. Enjoy the time off, and if you find yourself returning hopefully it can be in a better headspace and with less of what was hard to begin with.


Wolfgangvondi
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Wolfgangvondi » Sat May 27, 2023 11:32 am

Hello,

I only had the pleasure to interact whit Saslae a few times, but still remember that talk in the bath house, was meaningful very well executed from Saslae part and I was able to felt how experienced she was, how she was and is part of the UD/ the city. Loved it.

Like other chars, Saslae for all the time and work you put on her is one of that char's that is part of the feeling / lore of the UD and so on.
To get here its necessary a lot of work and serious commitment.

Im realy sorry that you are feeling "burn out", like a few already told in this thread, its something that happens (or is happening) whit a alarming degree.
The RP part can get very intense, and unfortunately its very hard to keep the bad ooc at bay despise of your best efforts. I, and a lot of others (im sure) know that first hand.

For me, I think this is the most important thing to retain from your post:

I'm a roleplayer. I'm not here to win. I'm here act, and write with all of you. I love you Arelith. Possibly too much. I don't blame anyone in particular. The weight and the number of discord messages I get on a daily basis about recent events and OOC gossip I didn't ask to see.. that even otherwise upstanding members of the community can't help but copy-pasta at me.. is crushing.

Its worry, its worry because its another player that puts so much effort in Rp, and that has a helpful conduct whit in the community, arrives at the conclusion that things just get out of hand to a point that the best thing to do, and maybe the only thing, is to... not play in server. And I have seen this a lot of times by now. You actually posted about it, but a lot don't, they just say ther goodbyes in tells or message and leave "in silence".

And I remember my first char (many years back) that was RP wise treated unfair, persecuted, made slave, sacrifice, kidnapped a bunch of times, blackmailed, tortured and so on... Had a lot of RP adversaries... and this ooc stuff din't happened. So my conclusion is the community way of be, changed. Now, every time a char of mine gets in a RP trouble... I actually half of the times "IC" refuse and don't ask for help, because some years ago that would lead to more great rp and more ppl enjoying the story, but lately im just fearful that it will just quickly roll to spike ooc drama (from "everyone") and the ooc felling/mind set of "us" vs "them". So another sad conclusion.. the one of not bring more ppl to the RP... in a RP server.

How we address this? I have no idea.

Anyway, just wanted to express here, some kind of support/ comprehension and I think you did the best, before letting things go down in a worst spiral, you toke a step back and toke some time off.

Hope to see you again, when you feel you have the conditions and the will to return.

Till them, have a great time.


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Ork
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Ork » Sat May 27, 2023 9:51 pm

Wolfgangvondi wrote:
Sat May 27, 2023 11:32 am

and this ooc stuff din't happened.

OOC stuff has happened since the dawn of Arelith. Either you're privy to it or you're not, and I can assuredly say that not being privy to the rumormongering of Arelith is far, far superior. Don't let people that play an almost 20 y/o game steal your joy, and be careful who you let vent their woes on you. Leave the championing of the invisible army to the DMs. They get paid to- oh wait.


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Fallout
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Re: I love you all. <3

Post by Fallout » Mon May 29, 2023 11:58 am

I can understand your point, i felt it many times myself in past 15y, also UD is sometimes heavy(but far better compared to before) due to centralised Hub so some things are impossible to avoid, that also has its pros...you know what i found helpful...changing toons, factions, moving with them other stories, making a new...and it worked, at least for me, and made Arelith even better place that i really enjoy.🤗

I enjoyed roleplaying with you on various toonss (I think 4🤔), and you were very helpful and welcoming to all players making Arelith very warm place for all...have some rest, and return....as we all always do!🥰


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