This is a difficult message for me to write, but it's the message I need to write.
After 4+ years, and more than 8000 hours of play, the time has come to say goodbye to Arelith.
And due to the fact that there's no good way to do this in-character, I'm not even going to try. There's no reason why my current character, Ner'enthis Shadowclaw, would leave behind his tribe, his House, his friends, his city, and to try to manufacture one would be extend the parting longer without any real sense of purpose to it. So, Ner died in his sleep from working too hard, and went on to be re-cycled as a Shadow Dragon, his ultimate goal as a kobold finally achieved.
Why am I leaving?
Two real reasons.
Health. In 2020 I had a hospital visit due to Covid, and then a relapse last year. I was recovering, then I moved house, and the effort of doing that saw me bedbound, again. I've not really recovered from that, and we're six months on now... there are days where I struggle to get out of bed at all, and even when I do leave the house, being out for more than 2 hours leaves me a cripple for days. Committing to play the role I have held in Arelith is not something I can meaningfully do any more. It's not that I do not wish to, but that I cannot. I've been sick now for two weeks, and I have to focus first on getting well, before I can consider anything else.
Family. I have four children who are growing up fast, and a wife who loves me, and with how little energy I have, and how hard I struggle to focus on anything (both due to my poor health)? They deserve the best of me, no matter what that looks like, and that means that I have to let go of things that are less important. As much as there are many folk in Arelith whom I am deeply fond of, and many things I enjoy doing, I cannot justify continuing to invest myself in this server and community. Not at the expense of my family.
Many who are close to me are aware of these things, and how I have been struggling, and have been trying their utmost to support me. You know who you are, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you, and all you have done.
I'm sorry that I couldn't see things through to the end.
I know that my leaving will leave a hole, and I wish I did not have move on.
To ensure that I do genuinely move on, I am going to quit Discord, uninstall NWN, etc. The desire in me to connect with and support those I care about here is too strong; I know myself well enough to know I love too deeply to stay away if I do not make a solid break.
I have sent gifts to those who Ner knew and cared for, and those who deserved it. All are IC gifts, don't worry about metagaming or rules breaches. Rich kobold gotta do something meaningful with that coin before disappearing forever. Consider it his last will and testament.
And now, for specific farewells
Groups/Communities
Shadowclaw - Best damn community in Arelith, bar none. You folks rock, and I only wish life were different, so I could stay and kobold with you forever.
House Spear-Singer - The A-Team, always up for whatever shenanigans Ner wanted to do, and keen to explore the world and tell stories. And unquestionably loyal and loving. We may be evil, but we're all heart.
Sencliff - Ner's second home, which I still wish could have been his first home. Stay salty!
Individuals
Waldo - The OG All-Watcher. Always supportive, always committed, always on the hunt for kobolds. And as a friend, you've always, always been there for me. I know the tribe will be in good claws under you, both IC and OOC.
Tripleseven - We've been through so much over the years, and we've always stood together. Couldn't have asked for a better major domo.
Frenkie - So many shenanigans, so much coin spent in the basin. Will miss you and your ever light-hearted chats.
Raidriar - I know I said I wouldn't leave, and I am sorry that I have to. But know that you are my friend, and I am glad to have known you. My life is better for having had you in it.
Sneksnek - Never knew I needed Malx, until I couldn't even think of doing what I did without him, and a friendship forged in the fires like ours was is not one I will ever forget.
DM Starfish - I don't have words for how much I have appreciated you. Thank you.
There are so many more folk that I would love to write messages for, but in truth, I don't have enough time and my brain cannot process the literally hundreds of people to whom I want to reach out to. Folk like the Red Tower crew, House Xun'viir, the Legion, the Erudite Arcanum, the Kraken's Teeth, the Raiding Rapscallions, the Dreadnought crew, House Reyer, the many spies, informants, handlers, and strategists that Ner worked with, as well as all his customers and clients, the district leaders... and that's just his friends and allies, not even touching on those who opposed him! Folks like Thomas Castemont and his people, the Rivorndirs, various sailing crews, various groups of dwarves and gnomes and elves, and some who even now remain unknown to me.
If you ever interacted meaningfully with Ner'enthis Shadowclaw, with Nadjia Sia Xuthra, or with Tom the Wand Merchant, then know that you have been a part of my life story, not just my character's stories. I will carry that with me always.
Know that if you read this, and you are grieving, that I no doubt loved you too. For, as another weird creature once said - "What is grief, if not love persevering?"
I will say goodbye and sign off with something I shared in-character just the other day with someone else.
Life and death are bought and sold with coin, but what is within you is precious beyond measure. Do not waste it on trinkets and baubles. Pursue what matters.
