I realize it has been a goodly while since my last correspondence and I hope this missive finds you well. Has mother been behaving? Please pass on my regards to her; I miss you both very much.
As of yet it seems your hopes regarding my place in the church as a squire were, as I had surmised, overly optimistic. One of my sort really can't expect to find a formal place in the temple hierarchy, though those knights and clergy I've encountered have been far kinder to me than any measure of decency would demand of them. I have all but given up hope of being taken on as a squire.
I did for a very brief while find what I thought might be my calling in the Triadic order as a base camp chef in the effort to retake the fallen temple city of Benwick, seat of the Light Keep, but the effort to retake the once holy ground has since become a matter of simply containing the malevolence within until the light truly fails and the remains of the citadel can be razed and put to final rest.
Again lacking direction I gave in to my curiosity and tried the drink. Thank Term I didn't harm anyone but I know from what I do recall that my judgment, and already ancestrally limited intellect was crippled as you feared it might be. I'll not partake again as I won't risk a heavy conscience for an evening's retreat from the truth.
Instead of pandering to my shameful desire for further respite from my understanding of the way of things I have focused some time on another curiosity, and have ventured to the caves to learn of mother's people, my other people.
They are much as mother described them, though the local sort is not so large as mother's mountain kin on average. Despite all mother's odd reminiscing and the favorable view she holds of them, and despite the simple and plainly visible kinship I bear to them i cannot bring myself to relate to them. They are vicious, every bit as cruel as I assume those who drove mother from her tribe must have been and moreso. If, as mother was fond of saying, your hospitality has forced us further from the traditions she once knew among their sort, I am doubly thankful for it. Those full-blooded tribesfolk I have encountered on the island are of such a foul nature I need to remind myself firmly to ask Torm's forgiveness and blessing to their spirits when I've put them to the blade. It's led me to question whether the beasts truly have souls to be forgiven. If they lack such, what of mother? Indeed what of me even?
I am sorry if this note has taken a dour tone. Truly I am doing well here and the monthly stipend with which you've provided me has allowed me to pursue my course with little worry of providing for my needs, I am humbled by your generosity as always and grateful for the trust and faith you've placed in me.
Please give my warm regard to Ferdinand's other sons and daughters, in particular let Myellimn know I'be missed her silly stories, and tell Percifus I look forward to his next letter eagerly.
With Affection
Firdinand Bawrwinch
Firdinand Bawrwinch
PS. One of the staff wrote me of the Ferdinand's recent encounter with mother and gave an accounting of the words he had for her. I don't wish to upset you but please inform him that should I hear of further similar incidents, I will return forthwith to Suzail and may Torm's forgive me when I find him.