A Paladin's Journey

[KarlaFatehart]

I think I might give the whole journal thing a try. We'll see how it goes. No promises.
---

A Paladin's Journey - From the Beginning

I have no name, and everything hurts.

I've been at sea for eleven months at least. Sure we stop in ports and trade cities, but I am too terrified to leave the Captain's cabin when we're at dock because there are so many people. I can hear the sailors on the ship talking and joking about me. Captain Pillard skewered one of them just a day ago and threw him overboard when he laid a hand on me. It was quiet for a few hours.

Pillard says I would have been beautiful as a queen if what happened hadn't. He's teaching me how to read and write and says that my journal is a good way to continue learning, and to help me confront my emotions. I'm not even sure I have them. I just have my sword.

I haven't even seen myself before. They tell me something is wrong with me because of my skin.

Pillard said he once had a mirror but it broke when he got into a fight with his first mate, along with his entire liquor stock. He seemed mad while he recalled the story to me, and I think I felt bad for him.

I don't know what words to use to describe him because I'm still learning. He has a stubby beard, brown eyes, and he's big and mean looking. That's when he's out on the deck yelling at his men. Inside, when he teaches me words and what the world is like, he's gentle and calm and patient. He doesn't touch me because it hurts.

It always hurts. My whole body is a dull, aching throb, and it burns when people touch me. They didn't believe me at first. I'll never forget the day then hauled me aboard screaming. So many hands. I cried.

They said I was passed out and clutching a bloodied sword on the docks of a small port just outside Taliesin. I remember getting out from my life of experiments and slavery, killing a man, and running. I ran for a long time and never looked back. Then I was aboard the ship.

It's nearing the end of the year, when the captain and his crew stop in a city called Cordor for a month. I won't have a choice but to try and make it on my own after that.

Pillard said I need a name so I can talk to people so he calls me Karla now, after his daughter who died in a storm at sea.

I just want to fade away. It hurts, and I'm scared, and the only thing that helps me get through it all are my dreams.

[KarlaFatehart]

I had another dream. This one was different from the others. Normally I awake with feelings of freedom and happiness, but this time it was darker. I remembered the chains, the table, the cell... my friends. I remembered knives and tubes and chemicals and sinister words. How could I forget?

They called me Three, while I was there. Often joking that the, "third time was the charm," because of the failures of the first two children who each disappeared one day or another. I don't know what I did right. I wasn't trying to do anything right. I only screamed and cried and begged and then eventually fell asleep on a moldy cot in a barred cell - day after day.

I got used to it eventually. Maybe that's what I did right.

Right now the captain is sleeping on the floor drunk. We're in harbor somewhere, getting closer to Cordor, and he came stumbling in at nightfall smelling strange and mumbling something about having had a "good time". He always sleeps on the floor now, and lets me use his bed. He loves me, I think, but doesn't touch me, as if I was a child of his. I like him too. He doesn't hurt me, and he protects me.

Pillard said he's going to teach me how to use a sword while we make the final voyage. He says the Island is very dangerous and nobody survives without knowing how to protect themselves. It makes me sad. People need to be protected. Just like me.

[KarlaFatehart]

Captain Pillard bought a mirror. I cried for hours. My eyes are dead, unnatural, abominable. There's something wrong with me, and my skin feels tight and throbs. He was heartbroken by my reaction I think. He drank.

There's more to the Captain the meets the eye. He talks in his drunken sleep. I think he's running from something, or he wants to forget. I asked him if the drinking helps. He told me not to try it, even though I really wanted to. I want to forget the poking and the prodding and the experiments. I want the pain to go away.

We've been practicing swords when the wind is favorable. The sailors gather around and drink and watch and offer advice. They don't joke about me anymore, or try to touch me, and I find that focusing on martial skills makes me think less about how I look or feel. I feel more confident too, like I'm part of the crew. I helped hoist up the rigging today and they cheered.

Pillard gave me a suit of leather armor that belonged to his daughter. I try to keep my mind off the strange coincidence: a dead girl in a dead girl's outfit.

We reach Cordor in just a week or two if the wind blesses us.

I found a prayer book in the Captain's dresser. I think I'll read it.

[KarlaFatehart]

I don't know much about the Gods. Pillard says that there's lots of them. The sailors are always talking about Talos, or Umberlee. There's a God for everything I guess. At first I didn't understand it all, but I've been reading the Captain's book about Kelemvor. It's about being okay with death, but at the same time it's scary because if you don't worship a God you get sucked into a wall and destroyed. Is that what happened to the other kids who weren't taught about the Gods?

I think he read it to comfort himself about his daughter, and he told me I can keep the book now because he's ready to move on. It comforts me to know that there's something out there that's greater than us that we can aspire to. I don't know what I'd do if it was just me, and the boat, and the sailors, and the bad memories of all my life.

I like that though. Comforting people. The Captain has been drinking less as we approach the city and when I'm dressed up to the neck in leather we can hug too, even though I have to crane my head to the side to keep from being burned. He's the father I never had, and I'm the daughter he didn't get to keep.

Everyone is excited to take the month off when we arrive in Cordor, but I'm terrified. They say there are all kinds of strange creatures there. Elves and magic and dwarves and big men with ork blood. I don't know what any of those things are. What will they think I am?

Pillard says he'll get a nice room at an Inn near a library and we'll spend the month learning about all these things and practicing with swords. He says the city is usually safe but stepping outside the gates can be dangerous.

I'm having dreams still. Some are scary and I cry, others are hopeful and I smile. My scary dreams are memories coming back to me in bursts, or things I don't remember suddenly revealing themselves. The hopeful dreams are just a feeling. I wake up with a desire to help the crew and the Captain. The good dreams make me feel like I have a purpose in this world.

We arrive in Cordor tomorrow afternoon. I'm scared. What will they think I am?

[KarlaFatehart]

It has been a while since I wrote. A year has gone by.

I remember seeing Cordor in the horizon when the sailor on the crow's nest shouted alarm. It was breathtaking. Towers, temples, city hall - all monstrous and imposing. I remember being excited and terrified.

The Captain had lodging waiting for us at the Nomad. We shared a room (he still slept on the floor) while his sailors quickly dispersed and disappeared to take their month of leave. Gods know that if they did half of what they spoke of - the city would never forget.

Pillard showed me around the city over the course of the year. We spent lots of time in the library learning about basic things like elves and goblins and magic.

He's gone now. He took to sea again after his one month like he said, and he wouldn't let me go. He said my destiny was on the island. Pillard said he saw it in a dream. I've been stabbed and tortured and touched, cut and burned and beaten, but I've never cried like when I watched the ship fade away into the morning fog as they left port. I'll never see him again.

My dreams have intensified, and I've taken to reading the holy book that the Captain left with me. I feel a calling to me. Fate that I cannot ignore. I took up sword, like I practiced, and with a loan from the bank I bought some heavier armor. Some people are dead in the mines outside the city, and I aim to help. There is rumor of a darker presence as well. Undead. I read about them with Pillard.

Without a clue of what I was doing or where I was really going - I entered the iron mines. It wasn't long before I ran into a dwarf and a paladin of Sune named Louis. He was dressed in mismatched bronze armor and a pot helm just like me. We got along well, and dispatched the kobolds together. No undead though.

I asked him if he'd be my friend when we left the mines.

Louis is my first real friend.

[KarlaFatehart]

I met a few more friends this month. Zenia, Zane, and Shad'remar. All of them human by the looks of it. Zane is some kind of a sorcerer with a messed up arm. I feel bad for him, but he gets along just fine. Zenia is clearly a monk like I've read about, though she's still learning just like me, and Shad'remar seems to have some talent with sorcery as well. I don't trust him.

My presence in the city is almost entirely unnoticed despite my strange affliction. I'm actually happy that I can move about without everyone staring at me.

Since I'm writing about it - another strange thing happened. Being around sorcerers so much has shown me the effects of magic in battle. I'm somehow resistant to magic, as none of the mine kobold's magic has ever hurt me. It just poofs and shatters over me or simply gets absorbed. I don't know what to think about it other than it must be a product of my torturous upbringing as a science project.

I've accepted several missions and contracts to help Cordor with its myriad problems in the crypts, the mines, and bandits further north. It barely pays but it's enough to get food and comfort.

I slept in the graveyard a lot. Wherever they didn't put graves. Nobody went out there, and since I'd only even been surrounded by the dead regardless of whether or not they happened to have a pulse at the time it was the only place I trusted not to have people in it that will wake me up with a whip or an electrical prod.

My dreams, as always, had brought me both great relief and painful remembrance. My nightmares began to ebb away, and my prayers to Kelemvor have changed into conversations.

In my prayers I was told that I was not just a girl with a sword, but a warrior that will take up weapon in his name. Ever since then the fear of my past has begun to ebb away from me, the never ending pain that lies somewhere between the core of my body and the surface of my skin floating into the background of my thoughts.

I feel at peace. I feel like I have a purpose.

[KarlaFatehart]

I am called towards purpose by a higher power. I will answer with sword and vengeance.

I've only begun my holy work. Merely a month has passed since I've felt everything change. I know in the furthest depths of my mind the things that have made me who I am today, but they don't matter anymore. It is the future I will save, and I am suited for it.

Undead have been reported in the mines outside town, and I've finally verified it with my own eyes. On the second level of the expanse I came across a party of desperate adventurers backed into a corner while animated skeletons advanced upon them. I remember throwing myself into the fight without hesitation.

They'd had someone with them that was sick. From what I saw it was no mere sickness. I'd known that she'd been shadow touched, and I recommended someone keep an eye on her, an elf, until the duration of the necromantic affair had ended. Of course, we had to drive the legions of rotting zombies and clacking skeletons back all the way into the depths. I'd seen a man down there, hooded, disguised, and making a run for it. I was unable to catch up because a throng of undead had clogged the doorway.

I met Ester at that time, a cleric of Jergal, and we made natural allies and fast friends. We chased off the necromancer, and found a necklace of Velsharoon around the necks of the fallen animated.

Then my suspicions with the sick elf were confirmed. She'd been suffering the shadow's touch that I've read about, and from within her body emerged a beast of dark and desperation. We'd fought it off, but I don't think it's gone for good. Part of me wanted to kill the elf prematurely to prevent her suffering, and the shadow beast from emerging, but I stayed my hand in mercy and both results had happened. I know not if it was the right choice.

After the party had dispersed I'd been surprised that only myself and Ester seemed interested in bringing the necromancers to justice. I've begun making inquiries with notable individuals. Time will tell what I find.

[KarlaFatehart]

Things have been getting busy for me. I've journeyed to the Arcane Tower on the edge of Cordor's borders, and met with the Archmage, Xachary, there. He was able to shed light on many of my questions.

He's mentioned that a man named Roland Asen could be the cause of the the undead rising in the depths of the mines. Among his associates are Gil'thilak and Judith Feathermayne.

I'm working with Zane, Zenia, and Shad're to uncover any extra facts we can find, but it is difficult to look into so far. Being so new to the island, and as I strange as I might appear, means I must gather trust and create a network of friends and allies first. Evidently I'm seeking powerful foes.

Meanwhile I've been learning about people, and how society works, first hand. I tend to get caught up in my holy work, and it shows, because I find that my conversation topics are limited to Kelemvor, violence, and the dull throbbing pain I'm always in. Furthermore it seems that Zane is taking a liking to me, but I have no idea what that entails. I've been talking to Zenia about it, but I just don't understand it.

It is important I learn these things if I hope to prosper in this world to better serve Him and the people of Arelith.

There's another man wandering around Wharftown. His name is Thaddaeus and he worships the same God as Roland does, but for some reason he is allowed to walk around. This is infuriating to no end, but I do my best to the keep the peace of the town. I have my eye on him.

[KarlaFatehart]

Something incredibly unlikely happened today. I was in the Arcane Tower looking to have another meeting with Xachary and as I was leaving I came across both Roland and Judith in the main chamber, along with another woman I later knew as Billie, near the portal. They were having an altercation of some kind.

The Necromancer I've been hunting for almost a year now was in plain sight and brandishing some kind of unique dagger! At the time I didn't know that it was Judith and Billie, so I watched as the scene unfolded quickly. Judith and Billie were trying to stop him, but he cut them both with the dagger which apparently was poisoned and they fell to the ground writhing.

That's when I had enough of watching, and drew my sword. I demanded that he surrender his dagger or die, but he tried casting a hold spell on me. The powerful mage looked mighty confused when I absorbed his magic easily thanks to the horrors I've undergone as a child, and I took the moment to lash out and cut him with my weapon. He fled, and I gave chase. I'd almost caught him outside but he vanished with a teleportation lens.

Still not knowing it was Judith, who I've been hunting this long year, I took her across the way towards the Inn and laid her down upstairs where I tried healing them. I fetched a cleric of Ilmater who actually refused to help apply negative energy which according to Billie was the cure. I was disgusted and horrified by the notion a priest of Ilmater would leave two people to endless torment.

Eventually I located a wizard who was all too happy to listen to direction, and soon enough both Judith and Billie were on the mend again. They'd been poisoned by something called Liquid Agony - making Roland something of a war criminal.

My drive to kill him grows. The world cannot suffer such a man to live.

[KarlaFatehart]

I had a nightmare today. It was the first one this passed year, and I can't tell which is worse: the pain all over my body every waking moment, or a sudden and inexplicable nightmare. I must pray about it. He will guide me.

The other day I was in Wharftown, near the well, and the witch approached me. Judith disgusts me. The tattered rags, the dripping staff, the bugs, and the tainted rhymes she speaks. We had almost come to blows, but I'd told her I have worse problems to deal with in the form of a certain Necromancer. It is my holy duty to combat necromancy, and I must choose my journey wisely or fail by dividing my efforts overly much.

Feathermayne told me she had similar goals, and we stepped aside into an empty house near the blacksmith to discuss it. She informed me that Roland had been forced into some place called the Underdark, and that in order to get to him we would need to do something rash and brave. Apparently humans aren't normally allowed down there, and so we'd need to go undercover. As slaves.

I'm ambivalent to this idea. I don't know what the Underdark is or what lives there, but on the other hand I've made a holy promise to Kelemvor that I would see his will be done. I keep my promises. I told her I would do it, but we didn't set a date so we would have time to prepare. Maybe in a year.

Zane is trying to figure out how to cure my ailment. My disease, or affliction, or curse - whatever it is. He's an alchemist, and he says he likes me. As someone who has conquered fear of the monstrous, or the evil, I confess here on this page that I am terrified of human contact.

Now I find myself simply waiting. Passing time while I train and study. My endless cycle of pain abates when I succeed in my holy duties.

Or maybe it just distracts me.

[KarlaFatehart]

Duty, loyalty, honor. These are the qualities that make me who I am, and now I add sacrifice to this list. I told my fellow friends about our plan to become slaves and strike at those who would pollute the world. Zenia, Shad're, and Zane all told me I was making a mistake. That I would die. It doesn't matter that I might die - all that matters is that evil knows there are no boundaries that keep them safe. I am coming.

I went on my second true voyage today. It wasn't just the ferry to Wharftown. Judith took me on her own personal vessel to an island called Sencliff. I didn't realize how much I missed the open ocean air on my face, the cool mist of the waves on my skin - it relieves the pain and brings me pleasant memories. Old times. Captain Pillard.

I saw horrible things there. How her and any of her friends could live in such squalor is beyond me, but the main castle was nice and quiet. Clean. Serene. I must stay focused. I will use Judith to help me kill Roland, and then I'll kill her next. She's like a child, and doesn't suspect a thing. Witches must burn though - it is necessity.

Otherwise I've been busy wetting my blade on the blood of goblin, orc, and harpy alongside my companion Shad're. We make a good team, and he kills well, but I can't but shake the feeling that he is tainted by something dark. His name will be on my list someday. I just know it.

[KarlaFatehart]

Zane has been spending hours and hours in libraries pouring over tomes and accounts. He wants so badly to help me. It reminds me of Captain Pillard. Such distant memories, even though they are still so recent.

Judith seems to know something about my condition as I've taken to calling it. She'd shown me the library at Sencliff which is crammed to bursting with knowledge, but most of it is tainted with evil auras and I never looked further. I wonder, though, that if I am borne of unspeakable acts of cruelty and "science", what will it take to rid me of this vile curse of pain and suffering I feel every day?

Just about everyone I call friend has begun to take interest on my ailment, even Billie and Feldayne. They're friends of the witch, but they don't seem as corrupted as she seems to be. Nevertheless I keep a wary eye on the lot of them, but I can't shake an undermining worry about the future.

I've been praying a lot. Keeping to my faith as a shield against worry, regret, and fear. My nightmares are kept at bay through Kelemvor's guidance, but the desire for contact is strong while the granting of it is still ever burning.

Meanwhile Shad're and Zenia are a constant reminder about why I don't bother with things like relationships. It seems like they're always in a state of inner conflict and futile gestures - things I don't have time for in my life as a holy warrior. Nevertheless my condition prevents me from even trying to see the other side of this fence.

[Skibbles]

//Yeah so it's me, and I know I don't play, but I got bored so... here.

It has been weeks since my last entry, and things are progressing faster than I anticipated. I'm not afraid, I cannot be afraid, but I am worried. I've tried to learn as much as I can about the underdark, but sources are difficult to find, and those who know refuse to talk about it.

All I know in my heart is that Roland has committed insufferable acts of evil that must be punished. As far as I can tell I am the only one committed to this cause, alongside the nearly equally insufferable witch I've made a temporary deal with. Whatever the witch wants with Roland - it couldn't be worse than the foulest acts he's perpetrated on the world. Everyone else twiddles their thumbs and talks about it. Sitting and talking is not taking action.

In any case the time draws near. I keep my sword sharpened, and my armor polished, but I know that no matter how much I prepare it won't match what will happen.

Lately I've been spending more time with Judith and her friends. Some of them are in need of help, Judith especially, and I feel confident that I can help her find true atonement.

As a final note, and most importantly, Billy and Judith mentioned that there is a particular book that could help me - a very particular one, used by necromancers that praise the Lich Lord. I am skeptical, but I try to be open minded to a cure.