[A small, leatherbound journal rests upon a table. As you open it, you notice many pages within, written in a looping hand, the text occasionally switching between common and high elven. You pause, starting to read...]
[This page is almost entirely dominated by sketches of pawprints, and other tracks, each meticulously labelled as to their owners. Beneath, only a small paragraph is written.]
I have given my pledge to the Rangers of the Bramble Woods. I think it will be a place I can truly call home, at least for now. Who knows where this journey will lead me? How will I change, and shift?
Will I become something the Elders of my clan are proud of, or will they revile me and curse my name? Only time will tell. I am afraid, yes, and at the same time I find myself hopeful.
Mina's Journal
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EternalSunrise
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Re: Mina's Journal
Entry 7
It was all my fault. I brought him there. I BROUGHT him there!
Ossian said that I couldn't have known, and on some level I suppose I understand that, but it still doesn't stop this ache that perhaps, perhaps if I had taken him to the city instead all would be well. What terrifies me even more than my failure, is the fact that Mikasi - should he rise again, as Kregor says he has the power to do - now knows what I look like.
Solonor, save me.
I can feel ice running through my veins, freezing my impulse to run like a rabbit caught in torchlight. Terror threatens to scream from my lips, without my permission. It is all I can do to keep from letting it out, and yet; and yet I still have this small seed of hope within me.
Hope that, if I can learn the skills, if I can learn the maps that Ossian pledges to give me, If I can know all the right moves and all the right phrases, I might stand a chance.
It was all my fault. I brought him there. I BROUGHT him there!
Ossian said that I couldn't have known, and on some level I suppose I understand that, but it still doesn't stop this ache that perhaps, perhaps if I had taken him to the city instead all would be well. What terrifies me even more than my failure, is the fact that Mikasi - should he rise again, as Kregor says he has the power to do - now knows what I look like.
Solonor, save me.
I can feel ice running through my veins, freezing my impulse to run like a rabbit caught in torchlight. Terror threatens to scream from my lips, without my permission. It is all I can do to keep from letting it out, and yet; and yet I still have this small seed of hope within me.
Hope that, if I can learn the skills, if I can learn the maps that Ossian pledges to give me, If I can know all the right moves and all the right phrases, I might stand a chance.
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EternalSunrise
- Posts: 79
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:16 pm
- Location: UK
Re: Mina's Journal
Entry 9
Ylynaern said he loved me today. I find myself confused; incredulous.
Surely he is only experiencing fondness because I helped to rescue him? Like a coward, I taunted him, ran from him to hunt with another. I thought that if I could force him from these 'feelings', we could simply be friends once more, without all this headache and tension.
How do I tell my best friend I'm not seeking what he is, and not break him irrevocably from me? How do I explain that I'm too young, too wild - too free! - to want to belong to anything other than myself?
I fear I cannot.
It makes my heart ache to know that I will lose someone I've grown fond of. Still, I cannot have distractions in my pursuit of knowledge. I know that one day, I will find myself in a situation that could kill me - if not break my soul to pieces, and I will not allow another to 'selflessly' take my place.
Solonor, keep me in your sight.
Ylynaern said he loved me today. I find myself confused; incredulous.
Surely he is only experiencing fondness because I helped to rescue him? Like a coward, I taunted him, ran from him to hunt with another. I thought that if I could force him from these 'feelings', we could simply be friends once more, without all this headache and tension.
How do I tell my best friend I'm not seeking what he is, and not break him irrevocably from me? How do I explain that I'm too young, too wild - too free! - to want to belong to anything other than myself?
I fear I cannot.
It makes my heart ache to know that I will lose someone I've grown fond of. Still, I cannot have distractions in my pursuit of knowledge. I know that one day, I will find myself in a situation that could kill me - if not break my soul to pieces, and I will not allow another to 'selflessly' take my place.
Solonor, keep me in your sight.
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EternalSunrise
- Posts: 79
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:16 pm
- Location: UK
Re: Mina's Journal
[This entry seems to be revised and re-written in places, with haphazard scratchings out. Small water stains cover the paper in various spots. Despite these failings, however, the entry seems legible enough.]
Entry 10
I changed again today. I can feel it slowly wrecking my mind, as well as my body. I have not slept in three days for fear that it would happen again - despite knowing that it will not, that this was the last time for another blessed month.
I wake up naked, shivering and sobbing upon a stone floor in gods-knows-where, usually the first haven with a lockable door I can find.
And oh gods; the hunger.
I fear my brother is stronger than I, he says that I am not alone - and yet that is exactly how I feel. Desolate. Flying across oceans of consciousness, only half aware of the ride it's pulling me on, and worse - half enjoying it, too. I hate myself for that.
I must be strong.
I must be strong, until I can rid myself of this curse that robs me of undisturbed rest and easy smiles.
Please, Solonor, I beg you to keep me in your sights.
Entry 10
I changed again today. I can feel it slowly wrecking my mind, as well as my body. I have not slept in three days for fear that it would happen again - despite knowing that it will not, that this was the last time for another blessed month.
I wake up naked, shivering and sobbing upon a stone floor in gods-knows-where, usually the first haven with a lockable door I can find.
And oh gods; the hunger.
I fear my brother is stronger than I, he says that I am not alone - and yet that is exactly how I feel. Desolate. Flying across oceans of consciousness, only half aware of the ride it's pulling me on, and worse - half enjoying it, too. I hate myself for that.
I must be strong.
I must be strong, until I can rid myself of this curse that robs me of undisturbed rest and easy smiles.
Please, Solonor, I beg you to keep me in your sights.
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EternalSunrise
- Posts: 79
- Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:16 pm
- Location: UK
Re: Mina's Journal
I'm more than happy in my candlelight,
How strange, how strange!
That you should come to my dominion
In the middle of the darkest night,
How strange, how strange!
That you should even try.
How strange, how strange!
That you should come to my dominion
In the middle of the darkest night,
How strange, how strange!
That you should even try.
Entry 12
How strange.
I never intended to give myself to anyone, let alone a man I so obviously know as dangerous; so why then did I? I believe it is a kind of rapture, a desire that arrests my body and my thoughts so that only a single one is left.
(Take him.)
Perhaps it is the attraction to danger, or perhaps it is a form of magic that weaves through my brain when we are near - when I have no intention of a touch, let alone a kiss. A barrage to my senses that overwhelms and entices, promises of a brief absence of control.
(Taste him.)
But, I enjoy keeping control. Don't I?