The Burden of Truth -- Issek Mercer

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DeepWebAssassin
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The Burden of Truth -- Issek Mercer

Post by DeepWebAssassin » Mon Sep 20, 2021 10:40 pm

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In my dreams I see

"Did you hear about the Mercer boy? He's been hauled away again."

What wicked hands create

"Can you blame the lad for his antics? He's just lost his father..."

The jagged sharpened teeth

"I heard they were sending him away soon. Somewhere he can't embarrass his family name any further."

That sink into the world

"I hope he gets the help he needs. I always hate to see such a young life go astray."

And so I give my life

"He's deranged. They need to keep him locked up."

That others will not know

"Give the boy a chance. I'm sure he'll be fine."

The sorrow of this loss


Entry 1 - Day 28, Month 4, 174 AR

With supplies running low and research grinding to a halt, it has become necessary to raise gold. There is ample mercenary work here, though the risk is high. I have used the last of my funds to purchase a helm and protective garb -- a choice that I do not relish, but one that I knew was inevitable. Be it the bandits that rove the under-city, or the great opposition to peace and knowledge, a fight was always on the horizon. Today marks the great turn of the dial. Today marks the end of one era, and the start of another.

Today, I step into a pool of blood. And I do so knowing that every step I take forevermore will trail that blood behind me. A mark upon my soul. An omen over my head. After today, there can be no peace for me. It is a burden I must bear, for my task is too great to leave to another. I hope you can forgive me, father. I know you wanted better.

Oghma guide my troubled steps. Make clear the path that leads to peace.
----
Entry 2

I mourn the loss of a companion today. The task we set out upon is completed, but a creature of decay and ruin set upon him from the shadows and claimed his body. I burned it away, but not before it had carried out its fell intent.

Know this, companion -- you will never die. Always will I remember you and the cause for which you gave your life. Though you no longer walk this path, it shall not come to end. I will shoulder your burden atop mine, brother. I will reach the end for us both.

Whatever it takes.

May Mystra soothe your wounded soul, sorcerer. I hope she as is proud of her servant as I am honored to have known him.

https://youtu.be/oMKonGXZQ_0
Last edited by DeepWebAssassin on Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: The Burden of Truth -- Issek Mercer

Post by DeepWebAssassin » Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:17 am

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NOW ASK YOURSELF, MY HOPEFUL MAGE
DO THEIR EYES YET SEE?
WILL THEY TRY TO WALK YOUR PATH?
CAN YOU EVEN SET THEM FREE?

YOU ARE LIKE A NEWBORN CHILD.
SO FLEDGLING IN YOUR WAYS.
SO LOST UPON YOUR PATH.
SO NUMBERED ARE YOUR DAYS.
----
Entry 3 - Day 4, Month 6, 174 AR

Allies are such a precarious thing.

I find myself both overjoyed and terrified at the prospect of someone who may truly understand my plight. When they look upon what I have become and when they hear what I aim to do, what will they feel? Amusement? Sorrow? Regret? Will they be inspired to join me? I look to the sky to divine a shadow of the truth but all is quiet.

Perhaps, though, that is for the best. Last night I slept dreamlessly for almost all of the night. I suppose there is a peace to be had among kindred spirits. For now, I will resolve not to spoil the moment with the taint of suspicion, mistrust, and fear. Though I cannot help but worry at their warning. We walk the world under threat of death. Our great foe ever looming, plucking haphazardly at the strings that move men to action. Any sunset could be the final fated one. The last feel of the sea's soft breeze. The last taste of a warm, filling meal. The final comfort of a loving embrace.

If only they knew. I am trying to save you. I am the only one searching for the cure to this sickness rather than treating the symptoms.

How wretched a circumstance in which our paths had to cross. But how fortunate I feel to not be alone. So we place the first stone in the foundation of trust between us, and pray to The Binder that it was a wise choice. And if it was not, may we live to glean a lesson from this eager mistake.

I was genuine when I declared my intent to you. I will heal the great wound in our world. I will make us all whole again. The abyss cannot be.

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Re: The Burden of Truth -- Issek Mercer

Post by DeepWebAssassin » Sat Sep 25, 2021 10:47 pm

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The vain indulge for glory.
The fools partake for fun.
The wise are shy to action,
And none of us have won.

So what am I then, seeker?
A shadow of the past.
A fleeting specter fading.
To life, I'm holding fast.


----

Entry 6 - Day 15, Month 6, 174 AR

As I delve deeper in my dreams, I find myself being forced to confront fears that have gone unspoken too long.

I see a city decimated. The corpses of the dead are sprawled across the stone like leaves coating the ground on a windy autumn day. A terrible sound fills the air -- a wicked chorus of the pained and dying, victims of the End that has come for them. I stumble forward, numb, past the ghost of a city that once served as a beacon of life and peace.

As I reach the center of this once-great jewel, I find a maw. An inky black disk upon the ground, as wide as the base of a castle tower. I stand upon the edge and feel the waves of heat wash over my skin. I look into the great nothing and see only hints of shadows. Black moving across black in the endless depths below. It is not so different from the night sky, this abyss. But there are no stars below. Only an utterly dark chaos that could only ever consume anything tossed down to it.

I close my eyes and hear a whisper over the inhuman, rage-filled screams that rise up from below. I cannot make out the words, but I know what must be done. As I step forward and submit myself to the nothingness below. The chorus of chaos grows louder as I plummet down toward it, and I always wake just as I cross the threshold into a place no man was ever meant to be. I wake, covered in sweat, guilt, and the weight of the choices still wait ahead.

I write this confession for you, my friend. My faith. My loyal companion. You who I will leave this journal to, when all of this is over. I want you to know that I am sorry -- as if such a word could possibly begin to measure the depths of how I feel.

I'm sorry that such a great sacrifice was needed.
I'm sorry that I could not find the strength to tell you myself.
I'm sorry that I allowed us to share moments of peace, happiness, and comfort with one another knowing it would only add to the sorrow.
I'm sorry because I won't be here with you when the time comes to celebrate our great victory.
I'm sorry because this was a path that could only ever end one way.

And I knew it from the start. A lie of omission and a betrayal of emotion.

I only hope that the world that is forged from this sacrifice is a better one than we now inhabit. I hope that it heals, at least partially, the sickness that has infested the people of this place. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope that I can forgive myself, and find peace in the next life.

Thank you, my friend. After all, it was you that made it possible for me to carry this burden. I am certain I would not have made it this far alone.

I wish you a long life, that you may have more time to enjoy the peace we so bitterly won.

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Re: The Burden of Truth -- Issek Mercer

Post by DeepWebAssassin » Thu Sep 30, 2021 4:09 am

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SO BRIEFLY DO YOU SLEEP

TO LISTEN TO MY WORDS

AS IF I DO NOT KNOW

THE HABITS OF YOUR KIND



Entry 10 - Day 28, Month 6, 174 AR

Given the choice, most people would grant themselves gifts that make life more comfortable. Beauty, wealth, and power are all things that many of our hearts call out for.

But when asked who I wanted to be -- I did not ask for comfort. Perhaps I was a fool. I look back upon it now , peering through the bloodstained and smoke-filled years that have led me to this moment. Is this who I wanted to be?

Is this the price I was willing to pay?

I told my companions that the wretches we are sent to pacify aren't deserving of our empathy. And I genuinely felt that I was right, until I realized the whispers had all agreed with me.

I don't know what it means. I don't know where it's going anymore. In some ways, I no longer know myself. Maybe I am the fool after all. But walking backwards on this path was never an option, so I will keep moving until there are no moves left to make.

I'll find you when this is all over, I swear. We can help one another make peace with all this madness.


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