I forgot who I am

[Animist]

That's the first thing I can think of to write in this journal, one of, if not the very first prices paid for debts forgotten. My mistress keeps track of those for me, one of the few things she assures me she cannot lie about lest she be unable to collect on said debts.

I have memories certainly, everyone does but I'm fairly certain they are out of order, and several are missing entirely, perhaps other payments made. I decided to keep this journal rather recently to try and find order in my memories, and perhaps to avoid losing more, or at least to know which ones have been lost after they are gone. It hardly matters much, I don't miss them.

one of my earliest recollections, at least as far as I figure was before my service to my mistress. I see myself as a child, willfully ignorant of the circumstances I was born into, but taking notice of the important things the adults seem to pretend don't exist, my parents I assume, but I hardly remember them, they could be anyone.

we lived on a small farm in a village near a large manse, the lord of the land occupied that, children were not permitted to bother him or his land and the people in the village seemed to fear him and his occasional visits to collect tithes.

I remember having friends or acquaintances at the least, as children are wont to do. I remember in the small village there weren't overly many. so it didn't go unnoticed that there seemed to be fewer as my fading memories go on, the adults never spoke of it. I remember it as only a mystery the remaining children pondered to pass the time.

I have these memories, some vague details about them, but I feel a fog surrounding them in my mind, it's almost likened to recalling a dream in the moments after awakening before one loses the clarity entirely.


I'll write down more as I find the time, for now duties call me once again.