A Ranger's Repentance - The Journal of Kregor Boldheart

[KregorRanger]

(I have gotten adamant requests to repost Kregor's journal in full here, so that's coming up, before new entries.)

[KregorRanger]

A torn and rumpled parchment is tucked in the journal. It has the marks of being washed by salt water and elements:

Kregor,

I've talked to ..... Baron. If ..... tell you here and ask you for your decision.

....offering you the choice to be expelled from the lands ..... never again set foot in ..... bodily harm.

Alternative .... ‘trial by combat' which ....

Master Kregor, p .... consider your choice ....

...Regards,

Kathr.... S....river
Chaplain.

P.S. Mai’ae is waiting .... don't throw her love away

[KregorRanger]

Flamerule 87 AR??

Twenty seven days.

That is how long I drifted on the open sea. Only Selune herself could have been with me all that time. Nae certain how else I could have survived. Gods know that the crew of the ship didn't intend me to. The crew sailed two days out before it was clear that they intended to dump my corpse overboard - mine and Mai'ae's.

Mai'ae. Gods, I should not have allowed her to leave with me. She belonged with her people - even if the man leading them in their crusade was an opportunistic bastard. He would have sacrificed her and any others of his clan if it brought him closer to reestablishing a kingdom in the wylds, so long as he would sit on the throne. Instead her sacrifice came for my sake. She took the killing blow meant for me on that ship that day by shoving me overboard in the scuffle.

Fortunately, for me I grew up on my father's merchant ships. Even though I left my father's inheritance to pursue a life in the wylds, you never forget what you learn. You learn to float, to survive, as much as you learn to survive living amongst the trees. It is survival of a different sort, but it keeps you alive. The salt of the brine staunches the blood; the chill of the water wakes you from the daze of blood loss. I knew how to hold my breath, long enough for them to stop looking. Perhaps they didn't even try - figuring I was a landlubber that would drown instantly.

The crew was paid off by a man who proclaimed himself baron over the land the elves coveted for their own. I became the Warden over this baron’s lands - full of sniveling outcast mongrels like himself - to gain intelligence for the elven band that took me in, and called me Sha'Quess, to see what his true intent was in his alleged diplomacy. Instead I failed - betrayed by one of his yipping little lizardlings who was in turn keeping his eye on me. I could not reveal what I learned, about the alliance the baron had forged with black blooded lycans in the forest, the plans to take the elves unaware and off guard. Instead I was tortured and branded a traitor against the baron, no doubt with plenty of their lies to cover up anything I could have spoken in turn. In the end, I accepted an offer of exile from the forest, and the lands around it. I accepted passage by ship to lands far away, so I thought. One final lying betrayal - the same sniveling lizardling counselor that betrayed me before, gloating upon me from the captain’s loft.

I floated, for 27 days, until I chanced upon the path of a small trading ship headed back out to the Trackless Sea. The crew was nice enough to fish me out of the drink. They asked my name. I only gave my family's name - Boldheart. I lucked out; one of the deckhands worked for my father in moons past. It was enough to get me freedom to stay on board and ride the tides with them.

That brings me here, to the docks of an island city away from Faerun. Cordor they said it was. Perhaps, I can find a different life here - a better one, free from the machinations and intrigue of royal country.

Lady of Silver, let me find my path. Forgive me for failing my forest, my clan, and Ye.

[KregorRanger]

Tucked into the book here is a folded up charcoal rubbing from an engraved stone

Be without fear in the face of your enemies,
Brave and upright, so the gods may love thee.
Safeguard the helpless and their roads.
Do no wrong in your travels, shield the traveler and pilgrim both.
Wield the sword of peace, not of war.
Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death.

[KregorRanger]

*Another piece of paper tucked into the journal*

Mission of the Bramble Watch

As the Lady of Rangers teaches, there is a balance between the civilized and the wyld. Both may prosper, without encroachment one upon the other. To that end are we, the Bramble Watch committed.

• To guard and steward the wylds about Cordor, its flora and fauna,

• To guide and protect the well-meaning who wander its trails,

• To be as emissaries of the wylds to convene in peace with the settlements,

• To serve as a first defense against those who would trespass,

• And as healers of the wounds left in their wake.

This is not our goal, but our journey - for a goal is but an end, and every step we take upon our maid of creation is for our own growth, and a legacy we will pass to the guides we raise up among us.

[KregorRanger]

27 Mirtul 94

I believe in owning up to mistakes, and righting them when possible. While this mistake was not mine, I knew I wanted to fix it. To reverse the mistake made by one of my predecessors who sold out the land that holds our home, and left it to fall decrepit in the hands of city folk. While not perfectly sovereign, the lands now rest in the hands of those who know how to tend and protect it - reverted without conflict or sword but with peace. Our circle has its land, and it becomes a legacy that we can pass to those who will succeed in our steps.

This same moon, the grove of the great forest was also delivered from the threat of tyranny. While the resolution may have seemed anticlimactic to some, I consider it convenient deliverance. I don't rejoice in the would be tyrant's demise, I more pity her, that she knew so much of what was about to tear this island apart, yet she used it as a device in an attempt to grab power for herself. And even though my desire would have been to see a true circle, with equal voices and none higher, I will hold the Heartwood's new Archdruid to a promise to grant us audience and give us counsel.

Two forests, delivered into hands of those who rightfully tend them. Perhaps this is a step in my own atonement - for the forest that likely still lay in the domain of black bloods back on the mainland, and for those who called me kin whom I fear perished without the warning I could not deliver.

[KregorRanger]

((A parchment is tucked into the pages of the journal))

City of Cordor - Bramble Watch Treaty

In recognition of its continued assistance, the City of Cordor offers its gratitude to the Bramble Watch as follows:

I: Summary
The Bramble Watch are formally recognized as stewards over the undeveloped and outlying lands bordering Cordor. As stewards the Bramble Watch are hereby granted care and oversight of the land from the Bramble Forest and its thickets, Northern and Eastern Frontier, and the Traders Route North to the edge of the Liberated Territories' Bridge.

II: Considerations
The Watch agrees to patrol the lands within these bounds, and maintain its flora and fauna. The Watch shall also act as caretakers of the game and resources within. The Watch will regulate such resources to the mutual benefit of the forest and the City of Cordor. The Watch shall act in cooperation with the Cordor Guard and Military forces to act as officers, scouts and advance support for the security and defense of these lands. Cordor's forces will in return support the Watch's actions to this end, and communicate directly with the Bramble Watch's officers on relevant issues.

In further consideration and remembrance of the Watch's past aid, and to facilitate their operations, Cordor will grant, in deed and title, the land within the Bramble Forest's southern quadrant - from the northwestern hill current hosting their outpost, to the southern hill named by them as Howling Peak - for their use as they see fit within Cordor law.

III: Terms
The terms of this agreement shall pass through the generations of the Bramble Watch, its Warden, Scouts and Druids - belonging to no one man, but the whole of the Bramble Watch.

((It is signed by the Councilors Sellenia Astarith and Giogi Silveroak and bears the seal of the City of Cordor.))

[KregorRanger]

15 Uktar 94

A crisis that effects the entire isle, and yet few in any settlement want to actually share information between each other on the fix. Even one of our own kin is now acting out on her own, delving down in the underdark without us, and being an arse about what knowledge she's gained. Cordor kept a captive taken in Guldorand for themselves, and refused to question the bugger so long as folk from Guldorand were present. Nor did it seem they intended to share the information gained once they had it. Even folk in the Heartwood, who should be kith and kin of ours, have those in their numbers who wished the Bramble folk gone from their moot before discussing the crisis.

The hells do any of them think they're profiting? Having exclusive knowledge pertaining to a crisis that threatens to send every settlement and grove into a sinking chaos, and flooding their streets and valleys with screaming, angry mongrels doesn't give anyone an edge. Pride will kill everyone on this isle before tis all said and done. So many folk want to be the main player. It's the same damned pride I saw in that Feywarden on the mainland who was ready to use every single one of our clan as living shields - for him.

Most are only focusing on the symptoms - whatever is on their own front yard. And I am lost at how to make everyone else connect everything together.

I only know of one person who could literally bring all corners of this isle together to solve a crisis. She did it before. And gods be damned, now she's gone.

[KregorRanger]

Selune forgive me, for a moment of doubt and fear.
Loss will have no hold upon me.
For I have already once lost everything that mattered and was dear.
The sting of loss is dampened, once you realize that the only way to go from there, is up.

[KregorRanger]

10 Myrtul 95

The Arelith Forest was free of hellspawn, for the first time in years. The gateway to hell in Benwick is sealed from the inside. I watched as a divine light bathed over the site, leaving stranded devils running in fear, ready for the outriders, including myself, to cut them down.

The ritual called for druids. Pleas were sent to Heartwood. The call went unanswered. It was our druids that came to the call. Their heirophants were in the grove, when we went to tell the news. They spit it back at us. The Heartwood neglected the chance to purge their own forest, and only on the basis of how they had tried it before. And further they slew one of ours on a word for a nonviolent transgression - once again blood spilled in a place of peace.

We took her lifeless form from there, dusting off our heels as we left. While the others who triumphed in Benwick against the devils celebrated, we prayed for the life of a fallen sister.

I thought the sickness that infected Heartwood would be fixed with the disappearance of Cassima, but apparently not. The Heartwood is irrelevant to us now. If they won't steward the wylds of Arelith, and foster peace and cooperation with the settlements, still shall we.

[KregorRanger]

30 Myrtul 95

I understand why the vow says, "speak the truth, even if it leads to your death." It hurts. Tis not always pretty. But tis still the truth. There are those who would kill to avoid it.

All the lies, secrets, half stories and double talk on this isle will be the death of it and everyone on it. Truth is withheld from my kin - even by our allies - as if we cannot be trusted. Which really means we cannot be trusted to keep the truth withheld from others not privileged to share it.

The Lady's dark sister thrives in this place. And I have even tolerated her presence among my own fold - all for the sake of diplomacy.

It was lies and secrets and deception in diplomacy that led to my failing, my first death. Tis time for the next step in my repentance.

Speak the Truth, always. Even if it leads to your death.

[KregorRanger]

8 Marpenoth 96

Wield the Sword of Peace, not of War.

I was a Sword of My Lady, in what seems like another life still on the mainland. I was trained as a hunter, to hunt those of the Beastlord's black blooded taint; to hunt those of the Dark Sister who sought to bring Her void to a climax. I was taught by my elders that there is no quarter, no mercy, save total repentance and cleansing of the taints of blood and darkness.

I lost my first family to the lycans. My father disowning me because I chose to leave out to become a hunter of the foul beasts of the night. No one else wanted to hunt those that gutted my brother. It was the only way I felt I could do him the justice he deserved.

So I became a hunter, a trapper. I cut down My Lady's foes with no remorse, no hesitation. I look back now, and I can hardly recognize what I have become.

I've tied my own hands, and turned my head to so many things on this isle, that I surely bear stain of my own sin - not my sins of commission, but rather those of omission. Inaction is as deadly and bears as many consequences as actions. I have done this in some modicum of seeking peace, but at what cost?

The Sharran hold one village on the island - my own inaction to appease both diplomacy and the regard of my less perceptive and discriminate kin has resulted in one of Hers rising to power and strength to the point that I'm likely powerless to end her, and I will surely be alone were I to try. I should have let her bleed out that day I saw that symbol, instead of aiding her wounds in the aftermath of the siege on Guldorand. Just letting her die wouldn't have compromised diplomacy. Maybe, just maybe, she would have stayed dead.

The Maskarran hold another village, and it has become little more than a pirate cove, where privateers run the show. My Lady's temple within the village having spent the last decade or longer desecrated by one dark deity's trinkets or another.

And I have done nothing - nothing but play diplomat for city folk, and kiss their arses.

I've lost many of those I called kin on the mainland, those dear to my heart, to both of these gods' minions' machinations. My failure to defend them left both of my adopted homes of the past filled with darkness and suffering.

My Lady's fellowship on the mainland fell to their devisings - the remains of the village and My Lady's shrine surrounded by walking, wailing death. Every night I try to sleep in the shelter upon our hilltop in the Bramble that same wailing undeath reminds me of the fellowship that I lost. I can never silence them, never put enough of them to rest. Nothing devised to fix it has succeeded in removing them since they appeared during the plagues that hit the city.

Is it because of my own sin, that they continue to dwell in our forest? Is it because I've allowed the Dark Sister's presence to flourish openly that She now torments me with the sounds of restless spirits at night?

Perhaps I can never truly achieve repentance, so long as I refuse to act.

Wield the Sword of Peace, not of War.

Perhaps the Sword of Peace has to be wielded in times of need, to cull those who would cause the danger to the innocent folk who wander the roads. Perhaps I'm just not able to fathom how to wield it, without causing unrest among my kin, or to keep from tromping the damned pieces of paper I've signed just to gain freedom for the forest I call home now.

I am not Kainda. I cannot look at a wretch that is meant to be my enemy with compassion and care, when what I truly want is to see them bleed. I tire of making empty prayers every moonlight, for forgiveness that will never come, so long as I moderate my own faith.

Something has to give. And I will likely upset an entire house of cards when it does.

[KregorRanger]

2 Tarsakh 97

A new year. The house of cards tumbled, not in the way I'd have hoped, or even expected, rather with betrayal and loss in its wake. But I will not let the loss of my chaplain defeat me. Our troupe still gives me encouragement that we can carry forth with the cause I first revived it for - to free this forest, and make it pure.

Regroup, and Refocus

That was the theme I used, as I called our kin, young and old, to the hilltop at moon's end. The numbers swelled with those answering the call to cleanse this forest. We have hope now, an insight in the word of a Kelemvorite sage. For six winters I've listened to the wailing dead at night in our boughs, finally, a solution is in sight. Three centers of evil magic, triangulate to bind the spirits to our plane. Causing them to raise again each night with no hope of passing beyond.

The loss lover tried to cause her own distraction in our gathering. She made her presence to dig at the rift she'd caused among us. A dozen bows were at my beckon. Some drew arrows without even my asking. I could have called the volley upon her - quick and easy removal of the thorn in my side that caused me and my kin so much distraction for four winters. The cost would have been the heart of one of my dearest kin, but I am persuaded that broken hearts heal in time. Not the time for it, though. Not yet. The loss lover will bleed at the right time, in my own time. And I will not be alone against the darkness, as I had feared.

As she went on her way, we rallied around the hope we'd been given to cleanse our woods. The first site we would set out to scout was the old ruined castle to our north. I stood back, and watched, guided and let the elders take turn at guiding - keeping eye as our folk, young and old, pressed through the yard and into the stone walls. There was an order among the chaos, a swift, deadly coordination. I am impressed with each, and woe to anyone who would try to sunder us or our home farther.

I'd culled green skins inside by scores since we discovered the old stronghold, but never delved so deeply into the dungeons to see the death, torture, and imbalance at the hands of vile magic. The center of the evil - I could feel it, I could suddenly see how it could tie in to the plague of spirits among our trees. It all fits - the discovery of the infested keep, the plague from Cordor's tombs, the scaled cultists below ground to our east - all of it coincides with the time our woods became haunted.

There will be further scouting, delving into the other two centers, as a team. Til we know every cranny of each, and pinpoint the centers of evil that Lady Propherion will purify.

I am persuaded we shall soon walk in our home once again with it in balance, and I will no longer lay awake in dread of failure. Perhaps in light of the sequence of circumstance as cards tumbled, sometimes what we fear and grieve as loss, is in truth deliverance.

I slept, last night, the most peaceful and content I have in moons. Thank Ye, Lady of Silver, for granting me a light ahead once more.

[KregorRanger]

7 Mirtul 97

Scouting finally yields fruit, at the hands of our youngest kin, the ones who have not been caught up in distraction from their purpose. We finally have evidence of taint's cause in our forest. Rallying our kin back to center, in another ten-day at the most, to pursue what our apprentice ran up against.

Rising from my rest, I see Jihael and Olina arguing - over Olina's choice of course. Our once chaplain defending her actions, with her loss loving pariah behind her, defiling our grass again. She said in shutting out her lover, we were forbidding her as well. Jihael said the same as I told her days before - if she considered it a package deal, that was her choice, not ours. I didn't speak, or even show. I already had my answer, the same one Jihael had the learn for herself today. Olina is lost to us.

Meanwhile, rumors of war and strife increase, knowledge finally coming in from sources sent out. The one who once sought to manipulate power in the settlements, double crossed, and left out on the street. Bless her heart. Her loss. She is irrelevant now.

And thus is her lover as well. She made her choice. We have a forest to purify. We have wars to avert. We have a cause that rises above that of a single person.

[KregorRanger]

22 Mirtul 97

Freedom.

We have gained the freedom of our lands, to be tended as we see fit. We have stood against tyrannical rule of another forest. And this past night, we finally gave freedom to some of the tormented souls that walk our forest.

Mass graves in our forest, gods know who put them there, but I aim to find out. And now they are being harvested. Used to fuel some necromantic project that I still do not know the motive for, but I know they will cease now.

As we found the runes that bound the spirits, there was only one among us to channel divine energy needed to neutralize them - her.

I endured more of her proselytism, her rebranded lie of a dogma how Her Lady just wants to see others rest and be mourned properly. Watched her shed her fake tears at the sight of the spirits. But what needed to be done needed to be done. After the runes were dispelled, I watched the spirits lift chains from around their necks, and cry out that they were free.

Speaking to one, it begged us to complete the task, to find the other sites where his brethren were bound by. Rejoin them all, and they will finally rest, it said.

I will not fail them. I have the knowledge I need to deliver them. I will save them, for all of those that I could not save in East Way.

[KregorRanger]

Sometimes, what we dread and mourn as loss is deliverance. Sometimes, tis rebirth.

Repentance has driven me since coming upon this isle. I have since learned that sometimes, repentance is only earned once we forgive ourselves for our failings. I have now learned that forgiveness may also come from an unexpected voice, from a past we did not know was connected to our own.

The demons that dogged me on this isle - the failure that led me to take onto my hands, the blood of countless lives that surely fell in the wake of my failing - suddenly were quelled, by a single voice from that past that called me friend, and judged me by intentions, rather than the outcome.

Sha'Quessir.

Loss has lost its hold upon me. All I see now is a new direction.

[KregorRanger]

12 Eleint 97

It hurts, even to write. I haven’t taken a fall, that hard, since before I arrived upon the isle.

Worse are the feelings I’ve had since. I cannot shake the feelings of being denied my rest - of passing beyond and then ripped away only to feel pain. Tis not my own anguish I feel. Tis that of the spirits who have themselves been ripped out of their resting place and tormented by the foul folk that have caused this haunting in our forest.

Worse than mere tampering with the dead that were unceremoniously dumped into our land - this is all commissioned at the hands of a cult of Velsharites that are bent on using these created monsters to seize power upon the isle. They have infiltrated the very government of the city, like the trade official we cut down in the iron mines as we beset the second center of defilement. He bore the symbol of the Lord of the Forsaken. A record of transactions, carts full of dead parts and pieces. And it all ties into the book that Khieran found - filled with the names of those within the system both involved and loyal to their cause.

We found the second center, and as we pressed toward it, I reckon I lost sight of what was around me, focused solely on the goal of wiping out the scourge, and removing the runes. All I remember was feeling pain, then being unable to move, and blackness shortly after the largest of the walking cadavers started thrashing on me. The next thing I remember is waking up, flat on my face, Ze’dayne over me, bandaging me best as she could in an urgent pace. But the feeling of pain and depravation remained - much like that our sister Storm suffered upon touching the runes so many days past.

I reckon it will not fade now, til the last of our restless dead can finally pass beyond.

The time has become of the essence to bring this to an end. Now it no longer merely affects a forest - now it means the safety and freedom of the isle at large from the machinations of an undead cult.

I have forwarded the evidence to Commander Rivers, and I have asked the Guard's presence at the final run. That run takes us into the crypts within the city - where the plague that slew all of these poor souls started - to hopefully find the last stronghold of taint in this plot, and finally grant freedom to those who perished.

And I cannot be with them.

But if I have done my job as Warden, then I must put trust into those I have gathered round me, to press onward in our cause in my absence - be it for a time, or the day I draw my last.

Lady Moonlight, guide them in their press. Let this be a full circle for the ones I could not save elsewhere.

[KregorRanger]

7 Marpenoth 97

My ribs are mostly healed, and the visions of disturbed death have subsided. Before I even set foot out into a quieted forest, I knew from the quieting in my head that my troupe had been successful. I've yet to get the detail from anyone who was there, but I can see with my own eyes that the forest is rapidly bringing itself back into balance. Wildlife is returning, even at nightfall, and no more wailing outside the shelter to make me dwell on my last days seeing East Way.

I was hoping I might have an update of the happenings from Olina. Alas, I won't be getting that. Chances are, I won't even be speaking to her again. I took the only step I could to try and prevent the Loss Lover's meddling within the city further - to keep her from whitewashing her image and that of her Dark Lady, and becoming the anti-hero would would find herself in a similar position of influence as she had in Guldorand. Already in this past election there was a candidate that entered the race on the platform of second guessing the Dark Agencies Act, and this past season has revealed how easily the system of the settlement can be infiltrated with corruption, as a Velsharite cult arose within it.

So I did what I could, I used the city's law to get her with what she was already guilty of. I knew it was a calculated risk that I would forever lose Olina from ever being saved again - I decided it was worth that. She's already betrayed my trust, multiple times, taken words I said to her in confidence in attempt to use them against me, told her dark-souled lover everything, and even helped her attempt to slander my name. At this point, losing her completely was not that great of a loss.

I did not expect her to find out before a ruling was actually made, however. Now I need to learn who would have taken a report submitted for the Commander's eyes only, and posted it out on the barracks board that everyone in the public could see. Seems, Layla, in fact, does already have her hands in the Guard.

I am not cut out for intrigue. I am just a simple ranger of the Moon. So much for thinking that I would ever find a home where I would not have to deal with schemes and machinations and devisings. I have at least one among us who is cut out for it, thank gods.

Again, I shall not mourn the loss of my former chaplain. I shall rely upon many of the new kin that have come to our troupe with ambition and dedication, not only to the wilds we steward, but the youngest of them focus their eyes upon the Silver Lady in all of her aspects. I have come full circle for my loss in East Way, as our forest quiets from undeath once more. Perhaps now, I shall see the second part of that loss regained, as a Fellowship of the Moon rises once more - this time upon the isle I now call home.

[KregorRanger]

28 Nightall 97

Our regrouping has faltered, after the spirits were laid to rest. Some wandered away, as if the cleansing meant we had won, but such things are sometimes like a hydra - cut of one head and two shall take its place.

Emboldened by the disappearance of the spirits, the greenskins from the old stronghold have begun wandering the trees at night once again, and in even more numbers - they and their worg pets making the passage through the forest as dangerous as before. We haven't won, we've only succeeded in one goal. There is still the cause to stand for, and challenges in its way.

The cause rises above that of a single person. And yet, the sake of a single person is still continuing to divide us. I watched two of my kin come to blows at each other, over Olina's presence in our forest. Both of them are stubborn arses, but to see them go so far as lethal combat, that I did not expect. I attempted to come between them, and then after the fight tried to make them see reason with one another.

Storm was bitter and angry before. But after I'd spent time convincing her of kinship, to be shot in the arse with no provocation other than her words of threat against our former Chaplain, by Elora. It was all I could do to find her after she ran off - to convince her that I would never allow it again. Still, the bond of kinship has been broken. Because Elora chose her friendship with an outsider over her own fellowship.

And now, I fear I may end up losing her from our fold as well as Olina. I've gotten reports about the company she keeps - and the news is unsettling, to put it mildly. Though this time, tis not merely a matter of difference in faith. I pray to the Silver Lady she is simply not aware. I stared a Black Archer in the face for her sake. Gods, don't make me a fool for it.

The strife that the Nighseer causes with just her presence is overwhelming. And I can't to hells understand why Olina keeps tagging her along. Some in our group still give her the benefit of a doubt; those who are forming the new core of our fellowship agree with me that tis either her own desire to foster the strife, or merely her dogging along as Layla's pet in the Sharran's own attempt to bring it around.

The answer now, is to make them irrelevant. No longer will Olina be let in on our plans and functions, and I'll see anyone who continues to do so cut off from us as well. And there will be no more struggle and threats to keep the Nightseer off of our grass.

Our cause rises above that of a single person - even if that single person is the Sword of the Lady who happens to be the Warden. I shall not drag our whole fellowship into a crusade that is only mine and that of a select few of my kin.

[KregorRanger]

1 Marpenoth 98

We've lost three of our number in as many tendays.

Aleera departed from us - not that her presence was frequent, though it was a good presence for Ronan. Perhaps twas better this way. I ponder if tis better to have the finality of departure, than to long for someone and anticipate a final departure it in their absence.

Two others both chose the company of folk that bring harm to others - one of their lovers a Malarite, rumored to be a black blood, the other an assassin. Both of these folk cohorts with another who was responsible for the rifts upon this isle that nearly tore the prime into shreds. I had no choice but to cut my kin loose. I get flak from two different settlements and a half dozen other folk of other interests about those being harbored by kin; even the rest of my kin have taken stand against them. I cannot stand against the rest to defend them. Our cause rises above that of a single person, or even a few.

Ye are dead to me.

That I didn't expect the words - thought I reckon I should have - made them tear all the worse. I accepted her into our fellowship, because she wanted to make a difference, have a different path than the one that gave her the reputation of assassin, a cold killer. I offered her the place and a cause to refocus it, to become an avenger against those who would defile our Maiden. To be my eyes into places I couldn't see on my own, or do the things I couldn't bear to myself. That is lost now, and I'm certain there will upset in its wake just the same as when Olina walked out on us.

I shouldn't have to hear reports from a Black Archer as to what is going on within my own forest when I'm supposed to have rangers to do that for me. So where are they? Our forest teemed with folk just a few moons past. Now I've not seen many of their faces, or seen a scrap of word from many of them.

As of this point, the one I have counted most patrols, reports and the like from is Ronan. I reckon it was a good choice to make him my protege. He's apprenticing a young one who I can feel assured has a good soul. She follows the Watcher, because tis the only god she knew. Now she wants to hear about those of the wylds. A pupil I can perhaps trust to stay true, and devoted to the cause - and who might finally change my opinion of folk who use the term "Paladin" on this isle.

Paladins who break their word, Paladins who lie, Paladins who hire assassins to do their dirty work. I reckon it shouldn't surprise me. This city where laws seem to be made for exceptions rather than enforcement; Guards conduct summary beheadings against those accused in the streets, and are used like thugs to enforce whim and will, rather than order. Fate brought mine and Ronan's path to Pim that day in the market. If she'd stayed in that gods forsaken walled sewer, it would have ruined her like the rest of them.

Quality, not quantity.

Tis an old saying that rings true in this case. Perhaps I've concerned myself too much in numbers. We do need people to patrol these wilds - even as we were asked to extend our reach yet again. What started out as a small woodland green space around a settlement, has turned into a vast expanse that may soon encompass the wilds around all of them. But numbers mean nothing, if they rise and fall like a tide. What we need, are dedicated, good souls for this task. There will be no more compromise on character, no more compromise on devotion to the cause, and no more allowance for less than total investment.

Ronan is now empowered to select among those who would be promising, and with Amira and Aly'ne's return this gives us three Guardians to take on apprentices and to build our strength through quality.

Jihael's return will also hopefully take root, and between her and Atasha we will have High Druids who will shepherd the younger and more impulsive ones. We have an earth druid of dwarven stock, one the Heartwood labeled a "city druid," and the return of Nhala to tend the spirit of the wood.

I do hope twas a good idea to set both Jihael and Atasha at the top of the circle, in order to act as a balance against each other's personality. If not, it should at least be entertaining to see unfold.

[KregorRanger]

*A brief postscript added beneath the entry above*

The bridge that was cut into our Maiden's boughs has fallen fallow long enough. That it again crawls with vermin and gobs is good enough reason to call it abandoned. We've been approached about a place for wayward souls to rest. There is already facility to give shelter to such. Perhaps tis time to reclaim the patch of the Bramble that was taken, and the bridge that connects it.

[KregorRanger]

23 Marpenoth 98

Another bid for freedom has been posed to us. Actually, more like attempted to be dropped into our laps. Asherrin is going to learn soon, either by her own common sense or the hard way, that her past as a former Warden of this wood does not grant her any say in it's affairs or status anymore. That, and she best not try to get her way through threats against my kin.

Perhaps as much as her delivery of the plan, as much as the seeming haphazard way it has been thought through, has my kin set dead against any involvement. And I don't doubt their hesitation. To use our outpost for a refuge would bring wrath upon it and my fellowship that resides herein. While the fortifications are well suited to any minor threat, it is not intended to withstand a siege. And that may well be the wrath that would be drawn upon us.

I cannot bear to just let this go. We are talking of freedom for those who cannot gain it themselves without aid. Many who would merely be prey to be hunted again if they were simply left to their own, and yet, any resort that would shelter them by confining them would only be trading one sort of cage for another.

There are too many unknowns, too many variables, and worst, none have revealed to me any way to thwart the one device that would make the entire effort irrelevant. If this goes down half baked, tis guaranteed to fail.

I cannot use Asherrin's take on the situation alone - she colors and distorts every account of any thing that comes out of her mouth. I've sent Amira to Myon for what knowledge she can find there, but I need more.

There is one I knew I could turn to, in order to pursue the answers I seek, including the ones that perhaps Myon and other conspirators have neglected to get or divulge. And yet, I feel like a betrayer having come to them - betraying my own words, among so many other things.

In any case, it cannot be discussed around the open fire. Now that we've effectively gotten Olina out of our company, her Mistress has now resorted to befriending other ignorant youngling nature folk, and sending them out to camp around our fire to listen in on what we discuss. The latest was a total fool, and it took no time to discover her allegiance. Seems I'll be able to trust even fewer of the folk who wander onto our hill as truly well meaning, so long as that darkened wench keeps drawing breath.

If she continues to do so, then one day, when I am confident my protege can take the helm of this fortification and those that we've shepherded herein, I will be free to act without drawing wrath upon my home and kin. On that day, either she or I shall cease.

[KregorRanger]

15 Nightal 98

The eyes I sent to find what I needed in the Underdark came back fruitful, and further brought me a name with which to speak. As she relayed what she knew, I could see the conflict in her eyes. She was betraying her own mate with her words, and making herself a target for the one they travel with. Hers was not the only conflict in that discussion, as I once again felt a betrayer for being with her there. Our meeting concluded leaving us both having more regrets of past decisions, and left me with all the more concern that she will someday be lost to ever being saved, beyond the point of necessary evil, to a full surrender to darkness. Nonetheless, it also ended with the promise of bringing the mapmakers path to mine.

On the next tenday, that meeting happened. Our discussion confirmed one of my fears, that we are seeing two competing efforts to bring others to freedom. Now at least, there was an opportunity to let one hand know that the other was doing. We parted ways knowing we had both gained allies in shared causes.

The bridge is secured, and the land holdings around it. Frankly it didn't surprise me that Cordor instantly made their claim upon the bridge by extension, but tis still our purview, as the rest of the land we gained by treaty. Aly'ne has built up the camp on the eastern shore, and it has been offered as a staging ground to freedom. As far as how to keep it safe and guarded, I've been given an idea, thanks to a suggestion by a traveling barkeep. Granting him the platform on the side of the bridge gains us armed guards and a right capable bruiser in the barman himself. I'll approach him in the coming days to finalize it.

[KregorRanger]

Tucked in between these pages, a rumpled, charcoal drawing of a cabin in the deep woods - in front of which stand two female figures together in an embrace. Beneath the sketch are the words:
"I won."

20 Ches 99

Victory is relative to how you value that which ye gained, or another valued what they lost. And taunting over something that is no longer relevant, makes for a very empty boast.

The darkened wench left Cordor, according to Commander Jenna, with her pet at her side. Not before she and her pet both left calling cards at the hilltop. She left a calling card in the heart and mind of my newest apprentice. Ironic, that she filled her head with lies of my lechery and made up scandals, and bedded her herself - preying upon young ignorance. Who is the lech between us?

Olina's calling card that followed - an accusatory note of scandals, infidelity and betrayal - almost perfectly mimicked those of her darkened mistress - and she even had the gall to come back up to our hilltop after posting it, surely to defy me to show a reaction to it. I reckon driving her off of the hill with an arrow drawn at her gullet was sufficient to get the point across.

The calling card that came the next day before they left was removed by Aly'ne before many folks could see. A final attempt to drive a feeling of loss into my head. And it proved impotent, for even if Olina hadn't lost any shred of relevance before her own posting the day before, she'd made certain of it afterward.

Did Layla truly think I would find myself defeated? Or that I would concede her some victory? The only thing she has deprived me of in her departure is the ultimate closure of seeing her head lying upon the ground.

I lost a liability - someone who sundered her love, her family, and her soul to find the company of a darkened wench she found more appealing. Someone who would continue to find ways to bring strife and bickering and unrest anywhere she walked - all the while making as if she were a victim of everyone else's doing but her own.

Who should I despise worse? The one from whom I would expect nothing but lies, deception and loss? Or the one who violated every shred of trust and confidence offered to her?

What I've gained, from all their attempts to upheave this fellowship, are folk that are true and solid. I've gained renewed strength in my faith in my Silver Lady. I've gained the regard and favor of not only the folk in and about Cordor, but within other settlements as well. We stand on the edge of sealing treaties with two other settlements for the safeguarding of their outlying lands.

Ronan seems to think our name would be a misnomer, should we extend our reach, but it rings true to where we call home. With Jihael seeking to regroup our druids and establish a proper prayer circle, and the need to shorten our reach to the norther parts of the isle, I think I have a good idea for a solution, and I know the person to speak with about it, if she will answer my call.

Victory is relative. I have my cause, and what matters. I win.

[KregorRanger]

1 Mirtul 99

The Mapmaker brought to me an unlikely ally. I still cannot believe that I, in fact, let him approach my company to share our tactics - much less that I share the names of our kin with him. The look of panic and doubt on Aly'ne's face as I did so, at least showed my concern was shared. But desperate situations, seems, can necessitate unlikely allies, yet again.

All beings should be able to walk free of fear, to live their lives as they wish

That may be the single hardest thing for me to embrace as a concept. Not the concept of freedom, for it has always rung true in my heart. Tis why I hate the sight of captivity and dominance; and slavery, even without bars or shackles, is still just another form of a cage.

But I was trained to be a hunter of those that I believe are beyond saving, my own observations have proven time and again that any claims of repentance or reform from these mongrels were nothing but lies and deception. Their blood seems to doom them to the deeds they commit to deserve my Lady's wrath. By my own hand I ordered the execution of those I consider monsters, shackled within the cells of the Foe Smashers' stronghold, thinking it better for them to perish than to oppress others in their own freedom. Was this a sin, on my part, for not allowing them the chance, or deliverance for those they might cause pain and fear?

Yet I am persuaded, that I must embrace the whole principle, or I cannot embrace any of it. Freedom and balance are the principles of my Ladies, and echo the oaths that further drive my cause upon this isle. I will see both rooted upon this isle before I draw my last.

Whatever it takes, I will do.