Player Conduct and Harassment

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The GrumpyCat
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Player Conduct and Harassment

Post by The GrumpyCat » Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:43 pm

It's with a heavy, and slightly angry, heart I have to write this post regarding expected player behavior, staff, and complaints.

One of our staff members, DM Titania, has of late been the victim of what I can only describe as online bullying, and a vicious hate campaign by a minority of players who have decided that the best way of getting what they want is to hold a spiteful temper tantrum.

Going forth – if you're reading this and thinking 'That's not me!' then good! I truly believe that 90% of our player base would never conceive of doing such a thing, and the rest of this post is mostly for the 10% who have been dragged into this.

The catalyst for this was an event regarding the Harpers. An ex member of the Harpers decided to repeatedly reveal information about the group. I should mention – it is (or should be) made completely clear to any one who takes the Harper PRC that secrecy in that organization is paramount, and that breaching that secrecy means death.

This character breached that secrecy multiple times, was warned multiple times and was permakilled for it. This is regretful, but In Character Actions must have In Character consequences. If you play a Paladin, you agree to RP as Lawful Good. If you play a Drow, you agree to RP as a monster race. If you play a Harper, you must agree to rp that secrecy aspect, and so on. If your Paladin repeatedly murders Orphans, or your Drow spends all his time snogging elf maids in Myon – then they can expect something similar. Multiple warnings were given, expectations were set, both were ignored, and the consequences reaped.

This decision was not made by Titania, but was a collective decision by the DM Team, as indeed most decisions are, especially major ones which may result in long term bans/character deletions/MOD's. However it was Titania, the DM who most often runs the Harpers, who was the one to enact it and so that made her a target.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, - DM Titania is one of our oldest running, most respected, most professional and most dedicated members. Is she perfect? Of course not, but no DM is. Certainly she has never done anything that we deem worthy of removal from the team, and nothing to provoke this backlash.

A backlash that includes (if you'll believe it) online petitions, mocking log ins, google documents and continuous mockery and cruelty on discord.

Indeed it's worth noting, that despite this organized, furious 'backlash', we've only received two official complaints about DM Titania, and the situation up above. (One of which was a decision review request from the Harper who got deleted, and that's fair. If anyone has a right to complain it's him, even though his complaint was not upheld.)

Of the multiple others- we have had nothing. No formal complaints or decision review requests at all. Just organized (forgive the term) bitching behind the scenes, with designs to make a woman who gives a large chunk of her free time to making other people happy, utterly miserable herself.

I'd implore the readers here to consider what it's like. Imagine if entire teams of people went behind the scenes to make log ins, or petitions, or google documents about how terrible a player you were. Imagine how that would make you feel. And consider now that the Dms arn't just players doing this purely for fun, they're people who take time out of their own fun to keep the server running.

This isn't the first time this has happened either. We've lost members of staff – good members – to stuff like this before and it is awful.

I feel we need to set some expectations here.

Arelith is not a business.
There is no cost to Arelith, no one is getting paid, all the staff do what they do out of love and dedication, to give back to the server that's given them so much joy.

Arelith is not a democracy.
Irongron listens to our opinions certainly, and he really does value the opinions of players. That being said, he has his own vision, and we have our own standards. And if it comes to a choice between pleasing a small group of players, and living up to the standards of this game (in behavior, in setting, and in mechanics) the latter will always be chosen.

Arelith is not a Right.
You do not have a 'right' to play Arelith. You do not have 'right' to have Arelith be what you want it to be, have the rules you want it to have, allow what you want it to allow. If you do not like Arelith – that's fine. Go elsewhere. No one is forcing you to be here. There are other things you can be doing with your life. There are other servers you can go to, and the entire team wishes you the best of luck doing that.

We have a procedure for complain against decisions taken, and members of staff. You are more welcome to follow it. We want to make Arelith a fun place for as many people as possible and where wrong doing has been found we will act upon it, because we want to be fair and fun.

And no one is saying you can't sometimes question or complain about a DM ruling or such between yourselves. We're all human, we all need to vent sometimes, having a little whinge with your mates is fine upon occasion.

And if you feel you have a serious complaint against any DM/Admin – by all means send it up to Atropos or myself! (Atropos first, then myself is the usual method of these things.)

But if you want to gather up a concerted hate campaign up against staff members, with the express idea of bullying (and yes it is bullying) either them into leaving, or us into removing them – then you will find that you yourself removed – permanently. Because we do not, and will never, tolerate that sort of behavior.

Arelith is not a business.

It is not a democracy.

It is not a right.

Actions like this won't change Arelith, but they may destroy it, as more and more of our staff members wonder if putting time, love and effort into a task, for which they face tides of hate, is really worth it.

So if you're someone who enjoys spending their time bullying volunteer staff on a free DnD game, with the expectation that if you make everyone miserable enough the game will be shut off, thus making even more people distraught and upset, then I suppose we can't stop you trying that. Honesty though, I cannot think of a sadder or more pitiable life goal and would advise – for your own sake – that you find a better use of your time.

If your one of the people who've been blindly supporting the above – I want you to take a good hard look at yourself – and ask if that's what you want to be. And if not, either take a deep breath and have faith in us and continue to have fun on this server (and of course, if you have a complaint, please do report it via the correct channels!), or move on elsewhere – either way we wish you nothing but the best going forward.

And if you're the far, far, far, FAR larger group of people who have nothing to do with this. Who just enjoy this server day by day, who bring it to life with your wonderful characters, your whacky antics, your awesome events, your brilliant interactions- who make this the reason I've logged onto this game for over a decade now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
This too shall pass.

(I now have a DM Discord (I hope) It's DM GrumpyCat#7185 but please keep in mind I'm very busy IRL so I can't promise how quick I'll get back to you.)

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The GrumpyCat
Dungeon Master
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Posts: 6565
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:47 pm

Re: Player Conduct and Harassment

Post by The GrumpyCat » Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:55 pm

TL;DR
1: Most major DM decisions are made in a team, and cannot be put down to one DM. So accusations of 'such and such a DM got me banned' are rarely (if ever) accurate.

2: If you've a problem with a DM decision, or a DM in general, – please send that to DM Atropos, and (after them) Myself – as per procedure.

3: If you are not happy with the response from us – you're going to have to either put up with it, or leave. Whatever makes you most happy, we wish you the best.

4: Any other options including pressuring, bullying, guilt-tripping, rabble rousing, or threatening our (volunteer!) staff or community member will result in being banned from the server. If you have a problem with that concept, see point 3. Thank you.
This too shall pass.

(I now have a DM Discord (I hope) It's DM GrumpyCat#7185 but please keep in mind I'm very busy IRL so I can't promise how quick I'll get back to you.)

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