...
I've seen it in a bunch of servers, a simple "...." above someone's head while they're typing. Sure it might ruin immersion a little bit, but god does it help with awkward and long-winded rp.
Edit: To your comment about PVP, I think it's the opposite. It would literally show you that someone is responding to you in that hostile situation instead of waiting for their discord buddies to help them out. AND to your comment about being anxious? Okay just make it a setting people can enable/disable like eye glow, etc.
Also, facebook? Really? You're telling me there's never been a time where you've stood there wondering if you should respond or wait? Or if someone is even there to respond to you at all.