In the Depths of Despair, by Theodor Helbrecht

[D4wN]

This book can be found IG and will be the final written works of Theodor Helbrecht

In The Depths Of Despair, by Theodor Helbrecht

By Theodor Helbrecht
Transcript finished & published by Jack Topholiho
A.R. 174

==Foreword==

“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to bring joy, satisfaction and help fulfil your goals no matter what.”

~ In dedication to my true brother, Varelas.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 1: A Meeting of Fate==

I remember it so clearly. There he was, a small slender elf with his face covered with a skull helmet arguing with the Cordor guard who were adamant he would remove it.

As I watched from the sidelines in another clever disguise, I could not help but feel an instant connection to this elf. I think I looked away for just a second when suddenly a chase ensued, and I was asked to assist in helping to apprehend the man. I followed a young female elf of the Cordor guard, who later became my protégé Yin. The two of us arrived in the Nomad to discover he had already left his first kill. It just confirmed for me that I had to meet this man.

I acted surprised and appalled by the dead body since I was pretending to be a Paladin of the Red Knight. With luck a healer was there allowing me to convince Yin to leave the body to the healer and try to cut the male elf off in the Farmlands and continue our chase.

It started as a simple way to take one guard out of the equation to improve his chances to get away but led to me threatening her life when she so blindly followed me to the swamps. I let her go in exchange for an object of value and the promise to deliver my brother’s then wife, Lavanya to me.

For a while, I did not see the male elf again. I heard they managed to catch him but that it took a large number to do so. I needed him by my side to achieve my goals. He was going to be a powerful tool in my arsenal.

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==Chapter 2: Symbiosis==

I eventually found him, and we spoke. We connected instantly around our shared passion for blood and murder. I told him I had lost my connection to the Dark Sun, and he knew of a place in the desert to help me reattune. We searched for hours until finally we stumbled upon a wandering Priest who agreed to consecrate an unnamed altar. I knew this was destiny and felt reinvigorated with His madness and desire to kill.

I told the man, who I had now come to know as Sarek, that I worked for the great House Xun’viir in Andunor and sought to gain favour with the Matron. I recently got into jewellery making and knew she favoured emeralds. I decided to make her a necklace made of elven ears and the purest emeralds that would decorate her neck. This would surely put both of us in her good graces. Together we searched for fine specimen to contribute to our art project.

He was an efficient killer, but nowhere near as skilled in the art of manipulation and corruption as I was, and I was nowhere near as skilled as he was when it came to killing people. My body was hardened and my control over the dead more powerful after my alterations, but no one ever taught me how to fight properly.

We could learn from each other and make each other stronger. I would find him the perfect subject for his corruption project and use it to spread it across the island while he trained me in the arena and in the field.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 3: Lucky==

No one was good enough. None clicked for this project. But then one day, I realised it wasn’t me who needed to choose the subject for his corruption project. This was something he needed to do himself. And he did.

We met “Lucky” in the Shadovar. A halfling we would later get to know as Tiffa Took, loyal to Cordor and to the noble Rivorndir family and their Wardens. Although Tiffa was no true seer, she was experienced with the Deck of Stars and informed Sarek of his position in the constellation as Warlord. This created a connection of sorts between them. A mutual interest, or at least that’s how it started.

Tiffa started to develop strong feelings towards my brother. I’ve had to listen to Varelas complain about her clinginess but told him to stick with it. Love is a powerful tool to corrupt someone or ruin them and I taught him the value of patience and persistence. I myself only had a small part to play in this and tweaked my performance depending on where this was going to help improve my brother’s chances.

I built trust with her as someone who wanted to see his brother happy. I lead her into the home of the Reavers where she could be alone with us, with him, so we could continue to work on her. She became a more frequent feature in our home under constant watch. There was still hesitation, still doubt. The Surfacers kept pulling her back and trying to keep her on the right path. It was time to forcefully intervene.

The plan was risky and impulsive, but I sent a wisp to one of the Rivorndir I knew, informing them of Tiffa’s constant visits and her bond with the Reavers. They spied on her and discovered there was truth in this. They forced her to choose. To pick her loyalty to them over her love for Varelas. They forced her to put her loyalties and her choice in writing to them and got her to commit to betraying Varelas and I by giving them information on everything she had learned about us.

I was certain that at this point she would have chosen Varelas and given up on everything she held dear on the Surface. But she didn’t and it was unexpected. I went to visit her in Cordor and managed to lure her to the library. After everyone else had left and it was just the two of us, I revealed myself to her. The Surfacers had done a number on her since she released a wisp to call for the guard. I had no choice but to kill her and flee. This was going to be harder than I thought.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 4: Enchanted==

I needed to find a way for my brother and Tiffa to reconnect since my plan didn’t exactly work out. He was reluctant to say the least and getting bored of the scheme.

Eventually I convinced him to try and win her back. In doing so we plotted a scheme to try and make it look like Varelas and I fought. The fight being about her and him rebelling against me to wish to be free from my supposed manipulation and control over him that these Surfacers seemed to believe I had. We made it look like we tried to kill each other. I finally got to pay him back for stabbing me multiple times during our plan to capture Giscard and enjoyed running my dagger through him freely several times.

It was then that he “fled” to the Shadovar and waited for Tiffa to take the bait. And she did. What played out there must have been the greatest performance my brother put on. From what he told me she not only fell for it, but she also saw this as an opportunity to take him in and care for him.

From the little parts he told me, he spent time with the Cordorians and with some in Myon. They accepted him, not all of them. But some at least. Enough people believed he could be redeemed that he stood a chance getting some valuable insights into the minds of our enemies, cause some true distrust and paranoia amongst each other and division.

I’ve always believed that dividing our enemies and turning them against each other was one of the best strategies to keep them from focusing on us and all the while causing chaos in the places where it best fit my own needs.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 5: Quick to Master==

He was a master much sooner than I expected. How he managed to get a written statement from Karathas himself and how he believed that Varelas was on the path to redemption and should not be harmed, is beyond me. But I was more than impressed with my brother. The Surface started to believe that Varelas was ready to turn his life around. They were ready to forgive him for the dozens of elves he slew. Just like that. This worked in my favour for I still had the blood bond curse with him that connected his life to mine.

The Surfacers, although somewhat divided about his chances for redemption, seemed willing to try and give him a chance. This meant, they would not harm him and therefore, they would not harm me and visa versa. If they would kill me, he would die too. I made sure everyone knew of our blood bond. For a while, I felt invincible.

I admired the chaos and division he was causing with all this and at one point, Karathas even spoke about giving something up to the Speaker of Fortunes from himself to release my brother from the curse with me. This is how far this Coronal would go for a man who killed so many of his kind and yet he will not hesitate to kill a human, a halfling or any other race for less. The true colours of the Myon elves.

Tiffa could not stop coming to his defence. He had managed to rekindle her love for him, and it seemed stronger than ever. It caused division for her also and tension in the ranks of the Wardens. Both Cordor and Myon were divided on the redemption possibility of my brother, and I was keen to see where it would lead and what story it would unravel.

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==Chapter 6: Seeds of Doubt==

I grew concerned. The tone in his voice was different, his words had changed. What was this? Hope? Doubt? She started getting to him. Others had started getting to him. Did he truly believe there was a way for him to redeem himself? I couldn’t let this happen. I would not tolerate losing my brother to them. It was time to put an end to this show and release him from the seeds of doubt.

I told him that he either needed to end it himself or I would deliver him to the Speaker of Fortunes. She would rip his memories from his mind, and we’d be done with this all. He would return to the confident man I knew he was. He chose to do it himself.

It took some time, and I was starting to get worried he might have lost the courage or desire to end it. As chance would have it, I was at the Shadovar when she arrived. She was angered with me. Of course, she would be. From what she knew I tried to kill the man she loved. I took her to the side where we could speak privately. I had enough of this Halfling and if Varelas wouldn’t tell her, I would.

And that’s exactly what I did. I told her everything. How, from the moment we met her she was chosen as his project. That she was meant to be corrupted, and her soul destined for the Abyss. Finally, I revealed the most horrifying truth to her. I told her that he never loved her.

She got even angrier and told me I was lying. I was quite fond of lying and it was an art I had become very skilled in, but I also knew when the truth would do more harm than a lie ever could. In this instance I chose to tell her the truth since I knew it would ruin her. The trouble with lying so often is that people don’t believe you when you do tell them the truth. So, I sent him a wisp and asked him to come to the Shadovar himself to tell her.

When he arrived, he had his usual calm and almost apathetic demeanour about him. I brought him up to speed and had to silence Tiffa a few times as she tried to interrupt. When I told him where we got to, he confirmed everything I said. It was then, right there in that moment where you could almost hear the shattering of the heart like a music box and the descent into the depths of despair.

This was true art. Perhaps we didn’t achieve corruption, but we certainly achieved tearing their world apart. And that was to me at least, almost as satisfying.

My brother did well with this project and perhaps achieved more success than I ever have with some of my own projects.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 7: A Pledge of Loyalty==

For what seemed like years, we heard nothing from Tiffa. Until one day there she was. In Andunor of all places. She had become a retainer to a Drow House. I managed to get my hands on dossiers and reports of information she shared about me on the Surface, and I didn’t take that sort of betrayal very lightly. She believed she was accepted here, in my home. This Surface spy. I had to ensure that she knew she wasn’t and find a way to remove her.

I knew how things worked in Andunor and I knew that outright attacking Tiffa would not result in the desired outcome. I had to play this politically. I collected the dossiers that held her reports about me and handed them to an Ilythiiri Matron, T’rissolin Xel’vraxa. She and I had become very close, and I would use her power as a Matron to speak with the Matron of the House that protected Tiffa.

After weeks however nothing had happened, and things were still the same. I decided to act myself when she had chosen to become close to my daughter, Holly. I found her lurking in my barracks in Holly’s room. I forbade Holly to allow Tiffa access to the barracks and told her I would not accept Tiffa working with her. She was upset of course. She and Tiffa had gotten close, something I should have prevented but didn’t realise until it was too late. Finally, Tiffa had enough motivation to beg for my acceptance once and for all.

I despised her still. For causing doubt with my brother and for betraying me. But then, I suppose I did help to tear her world apart so perhaps I couldn’t be too mad with her. Still, her desperation and despair were something I would enjoy taking advantage of. Another social experiment with her.

I told her if she wished to prove her loyalty to me and to Andunor she would bring me the head of someone she once held dear on the Surface. Someone still important to her. Truthfully, I didn’t expect her to go through with it. I thought her a coward and believed she’d rather spend her time plotting to kill me or remove me in some other way. But her desperation for my approval must have been greater than I thought. Not a week later she returned to me with the severed head of Flavius Florus, Cultural Minister of Cordor and Warden of the Rivorndir. She had lured him away from the city and killed him when he didn’t expect it to use his trust for her against him. I was impressed.

I would never like or trust her, but now at least she had earned my respect and the right to be in Andunor. She had proven what she was willing to do to be accepted by me and her actions had solidified my power in Andunor even further. Soon after my name was amongst those greatest of leaders in Andunor to set the direction of our city. A direction I hope will lead to great victories and the strongest warriors.

[D4wN]

==Chapter 8: Cursed==

I always believed love made you weak, vulnerable to manipulation and clouded decision making, just like it did with Tiffa. Every social experiment I conducted involving love, proved this to me more and more.

But time on this island changed me. I am not the man I once was. I learned my soul had been restored by a woman I once loved and mother of three of my children, Avalri DeLocke. I didn’t understand how this happened or how it was possible. When I sold my soul to the old man in turn for making me stronger to fight my brother, I felt my soul being taken from me and these emotions leave my conscious mind. There was no way anything should have been able to restore it and return these weaknesses to me.

My memories were taken from me, and the lack of understanding caused a confusion I could never unravel without all of the information available to me. I fell in love again and I found myself genuinely caring for the city I now called home. I had never intended to live here as long as I had. I was suddenly distracted from my ultimate goal of finding the wand, killing my brother and returning home to Damara. I had become comfortable here, powerful and influential. Something else had changed, and there were now three people I didn’t just care for but loved. Varelas, my brother. Holly, my daughter and T’rissolin, the woman I wished to spend the rest of my life with.

My bond specifically with Varelas changed from seeing him as a useful tool and a powerful weapon to genuinely caring for him to the point I would sacrifice my life for his. It is confusing, maddening in a way. For a man who once cared for no one but himself, I find myself at a loss... Cursed.

But Varelas had distanced himself from me. I believed he too saw the change in me, and he too had changed. The disappearance of Nevve had left him empty. The loss of the Citadel had left him without purpose, and he was never truly accepted in Andunor. He no longer wished to fight for a city he bled for time and time again who would continue to treat him with distrust and disrespect. I didn’t blame him. But in the end, I hardly saw him anymore and the times we did, it was different. We had grown distant, and I believe he saw the weakness in me too. I missed him and wanted nothing more than to return to the way things were, but I believed it impossible without changing myself again and without possibly losing others I loved.

The very tool I so eagerly used against others, love, was now something that could be used against me, something that was tearing me apart and something that turned those I loved against me and against each other.

I now found myself in the Depths of Despair...

[D4wN]

==Afterword==

“You better not be touched by love; you are living peacefully. But if you do, you better not be left by it. Because the wounded in love is only shreds of heart scattered. Even if you manage to regain your heart, you will never be that peaceful person again. Such is the curse of love.”

Written & Edited by Theodor Helbrecht