Arelith

ARELITH- 5 Years and Deeper

The Good

Be IC at all times. For many many years, this has been the driving dynamic that creates the sandbox that permits so many amazing stories to take place. While on other servers OOC talk is permitted and encouraged where necessary, the narrative on Arelith has always been more immersive, because other than an occasional typo correction or a DM chat, everything is IC. 10/10 the most beneficial rule to the server, while I originally found it a little intimidating that I couldn't convey clarifications to a large group quickly, it's all managed to work itself out for the better in both atmosphere and my writing.

The people are amazing. I have played and talked with many individuals, most with their own unique quirks and eccentricities. I have found things I can talk about with more people than I can count playing here, found interesting friends that I can enjoy other games with, and overall found a group of people that are generally dedicated to making the most immersive atmosphere they can, even if it's just in a small bubble outside the main chaos.

The staff - I have never found them less than helpful or approachable. Even during the one occasion where I had a nebulous oops and required punishment, things were explained to me reasonably and rationally and while I wasn't happy with the outcome (a level loss back in the day was like a month's worth of work for me) I didn't feel I was treated unfairly. The staff handles a lot of problems- a literal unending stream of them- and manages to put forward a courteous demeanor.

The Bad

The Cliques - These exist. It's never been too much of a problem for me- I'm a verbose, stubborn bastard, and I like to meet new people and play with everyone that wants to play. These cliques exist, but for one reason or another I've never found one I couldn't find a way to involve myself in. But other people don't share in my luck and fortune, and I have definitively seen other people brushed aside by some of the groups I have the good luck get in with simply by deciding "I'm going to go do this" and doing it. This can not only create sadness for the people brushed aside, but it can generate envy and resentment towards everyone else for allowing it to happen, which over time, festers...

Oversensitivity - For clarification, I'm all about the Be Nice rule; OOC. Be civil to your fellow players. Remember that because someone shanked your toon last week doesn't mean they hate your guts and you should verbally castigate them today. However, the idea that something going wrong with your characters is an offense against you by another player is a dominant one here, and there are, at least monthly, people issuing complaints against IC behaviors and all I can think to myself is "would you like us to change your diaper for you, too?"

This is a shared narrative experience, but it's also a game, and games have drawbacks and challenges. Sometimes you lose a life. Sometimes you don't get the high score. Sometimes you have to start over. When another person's character causes that here, the go-to reaction I observe is to completely separate oneself from the instigator IC and OOC'ly seek to avoid further IC interactions with that player and anything to do with them, rather than to make that an IC behavior and find ways OOC'ly, together, to arrange for those plans to go wrong and create further narrative between each other.

To me, it would be like if everytime I died in Super Mario as a kid, I took the cartridge out of the console and soaked it in bleach before smashing it with a hammer so that it could never offend me again. It's sad, and it keeps people from moving forward with the game.

The Ugly

The Hugbox. This is the nasty side of the oversensitivity. This is new rules being made and new stances being taken that remove agency from players to control their own story because someone else who can opt into or out of interaction with that person might be horribly offended. I'm not talking about interactive attempts to force uncomfortable RP on someone else. I'm talking about the inability to write a history or current happening for your own character because another player might see it and have some kind of a meltdown.

It is my fervent opinion that if you are this fragile you do not belong on this server. Not because you aren't a good person, but because the sand in a sandbox causes friction burns, and it's not fair to tell every other kid in the sandbox what their castle has to look like so that you don't feel put out sitting next to yours.

The world you chose to play in is NOT a nice one. Demons, devils, murderers, thieves, pirates, undead, slave traders... these things exist. If you find a world full of terrible, evil, awful things to conquer and overcome to be too ugly to exist in, you should find a nicer one instead of depriving the people who came here knowing what was up of their castle-building options.

Character Assassination

This right here. Over my years on Arelith, everytime I've ever considered quitting, it's about this. This happens. It happens regularly. It's still happening. And as long as you convincingly believe you're in the right to feel the way you do, nothing ever happens about it. It hasn't happened to me (or if it has, I'm oblivious enough to not care), but it has happened to MULTIPLE people I play with. Some no longer play here. Some do.

I'm going to out a personal experience of mine. Several, actually. I'm going to exclude all other names. I am not doing this to shame people, I am doing this to raise awareness. It is not a report, because I do not believe the many people I have observed as guilty of this (Admins, staff, and players alike included) initially do so out of a place of bad intentions, but good ones instead.

Unfortunately, the road to hell is paved with your good intentions.

Several years ago, I was discussing something with someone, and another player's name came up. There was an immediately awkward wall of discussion about how the individual I was talking to had heard awful things about someone and I should be careful and they weren't sure they were comfortable continuing.

I myself had met the person in question in person, multiple times. We are real life friends, and this person is important to me; literally, more important than anything or anyone on this server, or the server itself. They are the person who introduced me to the server. I would light you all on fire for this person without a second thought, because they are that much more important to me.

I was aware, exquisitely, of the things they had heard of, as well as BOTH sides of the story, not just one. I spoke with this person at length, and attempted to convince them they were doing this other person a disservice, not just by taking other people's words as the gospel without getting both sides, but also by SPREADING this incomplete information.

I later on found out that this person was an admin, and through ways I do not feel it prudent or relevant to disclose, that this information was circulated from the top down, to such an extent that the person the crap was being talked about got wind of it, and literally shed tears in my presence over because they didn't understand how people who had never met them could be so blatantly hateful and eager to jump on a bandwagon they didn't understand.

The player who started these rumors still plays here today- I have interacted with them IC at length, spoken with them OOC, and while I verbally disagreed with their take on things, I never treated them differently in-game because of it. In fact, we literally changed the face of the server together by working together IC.

This player was an individual who was hurting. They didn't set out to be a jerk for no reason and hurt someone else (who was also deeply hurting). They were hurt, they lashed out, and that lash spread and got infected and made it so that someone who is more important to me than all of you could no longer bring themselves to think about playing on the server without being upset.

So they don't.

This happens regularly. The initial lash goes out, it spreads, and by the time it comes back to look back on history and figure out where things might have gone/been wrong, people are so convinced that nothing is wrong and that everyone got everything they deserved, that there is no fixing the situation, and people who have literally been a first point of contact for this server, spent hours contributing to its story, and spent untold effort trying to make it fun for other people, are all brushed under the rug over small offenses that get blown greatly out of proportion by people who are oversensitive and refuse to move on years later.

The ugly side of this server is that it takes friends that should all be able to play together, puts them in with cliques outside their own, and then picks sides when one clique points a finger at the other- and it never looks back at what was lost. There is no room for discussion that the way things were handled could have been handled better. There is no real interest, in my repeated experience, in trying to re-incorporate these people, who aren't bad people, just like you or me, back into the experience, to make friends. There is only interest in preventing the fallout from their removal, and maintaining a calm quiet until the people that remember them are gone or no longer care.

I remember, and I care. I still play here. Everyone- please look inside yourself and look for a little forgiveness. There are those of you I still play with who still talk trash to this day about other people I enjoy playing with/have enjoyed playing with. There's actually a lot of you. This problem is the single biggest deterrent I have to logging into Arelith, and you number over a dozen. Literally, more than a dozen of you that I love to play with have spoken crap about others I enjoy playing with. Some of you about each other, some of you about people I've never seen you interact with.

The next time you feel the need to spread toxicity, please take a breath, and try to figure out where the other person might be coming from or at in their life. Please consider that unless you've met the player you're playing with and know them extremely personally, you might be making it incredibly awkward for them as they try to find a diplomatic solution to change the subject without making you feel like a bad person for talking badly about other people who aren't around to defend themselves. Consider that you might not know the whole story about this person you're besmirching that you've never met, and that there is room for you to be wrong.

Staff or player, these are my findings, for better or for worse, after 5 years. I hope things get better, and I hope in another 5 years there is no Ugly section.

Agreed on the ugly. It's easy with the internet to dissociate and separate yourself from the harm you might inflict on another human being by talking shit. I've done it to people and I've felt remorse over those grievances. I learned a lesson early that my fun can't hinge on the perceptions of others here. Being gracious in defeat and victory goes a long way. It's a fine balance between player agency and being considerate to others. A wide variety of stories can be told on Arelith, but the best ones express agency & consideration between opposing groups.

I do challenge everyone feeling the mire of clique-dom to expand their horizons. If you find yourself without friends or allies on this server, change characters and create something you'd have fun with regardless of being popular. Sometimes the best solution is a change of perception. If your last character was invested in politicking, make a character that is adverse to socialite roleplay - a true adventurer or lore-hunter.

I've had the opportunity to play in Arelith for awhile, and I'm grateful that despite all my negative experiences, the positive ones have left such find and lasting impressions on me. I know that for most of us, that is true otherwise we wouldn't still be here.

I'm sorry for your friend that got sucked into a bad spiral, and my advice for anyone experiencing that sort of perception is just start fresh with a new login, new character and new experience. You don't have to subject yourself to a toxic environment. If that's not an option or you don't want to abandon your character, reach out to the offending party. Most of the time I've found these negative experiences are rooted in bad communication.

Overall, well worded post.

The post has good points, but a lot of it falls under "the obvious", and the people you describe under The Bad and The Ugly unfortunately will not change even if they were to read this multiple times over, for many of them think they can do no wrong.

If nothing else, this is a good outcry to the DMs/admins, that it continues to be a problem that needs addressing by THEM, not the players, the players won't change by themselves.

One of the things being basically the most popular server is that you get all types of RPers with different likes and dislikes.

I've interacted with a few people that have made comments about getting a thicker skin etc up until it is their hot button issue and then they act like someone shot their dog. Often the fact that they're oversensitive in this case is lost on them because of their own ethics about "the right way to play make believe".

Learning about the other person first can help one tailor the conflict a bit more so they can become engaged. Having an attitude of "well they should just deal with it" or "that's the way things are" one shouldn't be surprised that the person likewise is fairly apathetic to their feelings when they start badmouthing them.

Mind you I'm not defending the character assassination thing, I think it is horrible and is a concern of mine as well. I just think that understanding and empathy is just as important before a conflict starts, whether it involves initiative being rolled or not, as afterwards. Or at least don't be surprised that you ticked someone off.

for those who need a tl;dr:

• the server is (mostly) fun and exciting
• the people are (mostly) fun and exciting
• actions have consequences
• ... but sometimes the people take IC actions as OOC spite, tell tall tales and hold/create (empty) grudges

good points, good post, good luck.

I'd like to say something about the cliques.

-Players here are encouraged to play with their OOC buddies. That has always been the case with this server as it should be imo.
-Staff members are ALSO players.

OOC cliques are inevitable as a result. They were formed, they are being formed and there will be more of them. That's not going to change. I also dont think people take part or form those cliques in malicious intents, but they are there. I've learned to live with those cliques when I see them and try to be mindful and self-aware when if I'm a part of one. Its every player's responsibility to stay IC so it's also every player's responsibility to leave the cliques OOC but still, they are and will be there.

Yeah. I've seen the character assassination problems here. Been a subject of it myself and accused of things I never actually did. My reaction was simply that I must be doing something interesting enough to warrant being character assassinated. That said, it's probably the single worst part of Arelith. The playerbase here can have some serious troubles with the OOC/I.C divide. It's the worst part of Arelith's culture, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

i had a lot of fun at the discord channel when i searched my previous characters names.
The rumors and shit post there with no ground in reality is just staggering high. simply cause some players there didn't like you, they will go on smear campaigns like no tomorrow. lol

it used to effect me a lot when i was younger, but as i grow older and started to learn more about skepticism. now it just make me giggle and shake my head.

I had players contact me in character cause they believed rumors that was being spread ooc by discord intended to harm me as a player.. and not my character... and started to rent at me in tells cause of a random (dice roll) event that didn't turn in their favor and needed a scapegoat.

so yeah.. i had character assassination happened to me too. i just found that it will go away eventually if you keep playing, even if the bad strings will linger at discord.

But that was back in the days when Arelith discord was very toxic, i do think it's a lot better now.

oof.

i could sure say a lot about this.

I change my login frequently.

Personally I've had both good and bad experiences with cliques. When they are fun and inclusive I think most people don't have a problem with them. But when they are exclusive and focus only on "winning" or controlling the narrative in their favor, I think that irks a lot of players, not just myself. Doing little things like inviting people outside your clique to join you on adventures or including them in the story goes a long way. When you don't do that though because you want to hoard all the adamantine or you're afraid they might derail your conspiracy then of course that's gonna build resentment.

One good thing about all of these bad experiences though is it showed me who my real friends are. After a long break, a lot of reflection, and a fresh character/login name I feel I'm hitting my stride again, doing some awesome RP, and making new friends. I still use discord to chat with friends but don't think I'll be joining any Arelith specific channels for certain factions or settlements. I also won't be joining any factions or investing in any kind of settlement owned property. There's just way too much OOC drama and "Trojan Horse" tactics going on with factions and settlements for my taste.

Yeah, I don't know. I've discovered a trend with my time on arelith: if I assume the worst of our player base, I have a terrible time. If I assume the best, it's honestly most fun I'll have.

Cliques happen but they're not as impermeable as people feel. A lot of times all it takes is some BADASS ROLEPLAY and you're in! Honestly to the readers of post like these, it's hard to understand if someone's specific grief is of their own making or legitimately someone else's bad form.

I have rarely had issue with anyone on Arelith, but I know that striving to give the benefit of the doubt against my fellow players have only ever been a good thing.

Good luck out there, y'all. If you get stuck and start feeling negative about the community sometimes the best medicine is a break.

What a well-written and amazing post. All points here, both the good and the bad (and the ugly) resonate strongly.

It will go a long way for the entirety of the server if we're self-aware about how we speak of another player in the presence of our friends, especially in groups. When it's no longer 1-on-1, we simply shouldn't give ourselves the liberty to rant and gossip about another player. It only creates discord and spreads toxicity.

Lady Astray wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 12:29 pmI still use discord to chat with friends but don't think I'll be joining any Arelith specific channels for certain factions or settlements. I also won't be joining any factions or investing in any kind of settlement owned property. There's just way too much OOC drama and "Trojan Horse" tactics going on with factions and settlements for my taste.

For a while now I've had this stance on Discord with regards to this game. Personal experience has shown me that when a Discord is used for other purposes than event planning, nearly nothing good can come out of it.

MissEvelyn wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 1:26 pm What a well-written and amazing post. All points here, both the good and the bad (and the ugly) resonate strongly.

It will go a long way for the entirety of the server if we're self-aware about how we speak of another player in the presence of our friends, especially in groups. When it's no longer 1-on-1, we simply shouldn't give ourselves the liberty to rant and gossip about another player. It only creates discord and spreads toxicity.

Lady Astray wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 12:29 pmI still use discord to chat with friends but don't think I'll be joining any Arelith specific channels for certain factions or settlements. I also won't be joining any factions or investing in any kind of settlement owned property. There's just way too much OOC drama and "Trojan Horse" tactics going on with factions and settlements for my taste.

For a while now I've had this stance on Discord with regards to this game. Personal experience has shown me that when a Discord is used for other purposes than event planning, nearly nothing good can come out of it.

This.

I couldnt agree more.

Discord can be used for good things, and its good to have this platform around but as a Tyrran priest once said about Bane "Fear is a great survival tool but a terrible master".

A good post, that does highlight some of the issues that the server suffers, I just want to start and say that overall, I've jumped here and there between various roleplaying communities, and found that Arelith's is one of the few that I found myself enjoying greatly. Yet like any large community there is always the bad and ugly in it.

I believe the subject of cliques was brought up. Cliques will always exist, there are times where you will find yourself desiring to make a concept that involves more than just yourself, a house, a family, a cartel, whatever... You will naturally discuss such a concept OOCly first with OOC people and then bring it into the server once it takes shape, it will involve a few people right off the bat and to an outsider, you will appear as a clique. There is nothing wrong with cliques so long as it doesn't turn into a closed bubble. The roleplay staying open allows more people to shim in, which can but only result in it being enhanced for a better, more wholesome story.

Unfortunately there are people that start concepts, closed and enclosed on the world around them, and continue to go around in their bubble, pushing away any outsider that wishes to be part of the group, thus turning it into a sort of a private club (I experienced this once and it was demotivating as I felt that the walls my character was running into were far more OOC than IC, and no matter what sort of approach I attempted ended in flat out denial.)



There was also a point brought about toxicity born from anger and frustrations arising due to frictions IC. Which while is not healthy for any community to have, must be rooted to the problem from which such toxicity is born in the first place. We, as players, invest our time and creative minds to shape a story that involves various writers, a part of the whole we are, adding in our own touch to the moving tale that is Arelith's. Our encounters will not always go as we want, nor will they always end with us as the heroes, and that is fine.

When approaching any situation, the mindset should not be on "I'm going to do this, and do that, and win." It must be more of a "My character will do this, and that, it may work, it may not. In case it works, this will occur and this may occur. If it doesn't work then that will occur and further more things may also occur depending on the narrative the plot takes." such a different perspective allows us to engage whatever story our characters are getting engaged into without a feeling of "I must win by killing this other person and bashing their corpse in order to show dominance." mindset, and in itself, results in a better atmosphere and a coherent story, that often ends up enjoyed by every player involved, no matter the outcome, positive it is or negative, for our characters.

Toxicity arises when players feel that their invested time and the stories they've been shaping have never been considered by the other side, that a group of players comes and through mechanical means enforces a tale that ends the moment the "fight" is over. When unfortunately cheesy means are used to reach a certain outcome, and conversations change from narrative to a battle of lawyers "What I did is allowed, What I did is within the rules, what you did is a breach of this rule, and that rule, etc..."

The TLDR is : Do things while taking into consideration the other side, and their stories, and work together to build a story enjoyed for everyone involved into it, also communicate with your enemies, because they aren't actually your enemies, It's just that their characters are the enemies of your character.

I'm going to try and throw some cold water on this, and if it works great and if not I will go back to staying in my cave for conversations about this sort of thing. Most of the issues you brought up are not Arelith issues, but issues with societies as a whole. There is really nothing the admin's can do about cliques, or one player not liking another so much they share it on discord, or people being either over sensitive or jackasses. Sure, if it gets excessive they can ban, but if people were banned for a couple of comments every time this thread would be about an entirely different issue. If you zoom out and take in the entirety of our world, you will find these sorts of things exist in every little corner. Envy, a competitive nature, and the need to belong make up a big part of the human condition.

That shouldn't make you fret however, since there is one rather simple thing you can do; Don't let it get to you to the point that it's ruining your fun playing the game. Now I realize that if you are the type of player that wants everyone to look up to your character, you are bound to bump into people you don't like and be forced to play with or more than likely against them. That's where it gets tricky, but its just something you have to live with if you want that kind of notoriety. You are going to run into people who are quick to hit the pvp button. You are going to deal with people with emotional issues that get crazy when they loose. And a few others I'm sure that I can't think of in the time frame its taking me to write this post. If you know this going in, and accept that this is part of it, its far easier to just ignore it when it happens.


Just keep an even head, and report to the dms so they have a history of that sort of behavior. And have fun until you can't, and when that happens go do something else for a while. It's really all just that simple.

Oh dear, here we go.
Please, if you feel like I might be talking about you? Don't bother reacting. I am not going to drop any names here, simply going to voice my opinion on issues.



I think we all know why Arelith is awesome. Else we would not be bothering with spending so much time on it while there are so many alternatives out there. So there won't be much need to further point out what makes Arelith so damn worthwhile.
But instead I will go into what I percieve to be the biggest issues of Arelith :


1st : Equality. It feels like some people are more equal than others.
Chalk it up to personal frustration with past incidents, the answers I recieved at times from some DMs or that I witnessed multiple times how groups of players tried to do something awesome and spent a lot of hours to cause change on the server simply to be brushed aside by a single DM-controlled NPC saying "no". But it feels like some players recieve the heavy end of the beating-stick much faster than others.
I have seen cases on the forums where players of group A outright insulted and accused others of some really vile things without even recieving a warning while group B voiced their concerns and criticism in a formal way just to get shut down publicly.

Recently we had a huge push by the Arelith team for decreasing the amounts of PvP on the server. People were heavily pushed towards "making PvP more fun for both sides" , to "create more of a narrative" and how it was not all about simply winning the numbers game.

I agree with that. But it can't be all sunshine and roses when we get punished for trying to push a specific narrative in a hostile environment by causing a single PvP incident that didn't go as smoothly as all involved parties wanted it to just to, a few weeks later, witness another group of players doing the same exact things (or worse) and get out fine with DMs literally saying how there was no rulebreak and how all was nice and even.
This goes right over into my second issue.


2nd : Transparency.
When it comes to dealing with DMs and their decisions on things there always seems to be this huge "Us Vs. You" thing going on. I don't like it and I think it is caused by the total "we don't share any information" mentality that is going on within the DM team.
When a player feels like a rule has been broken against him or even an entire group of people then you can't just brush further questions off and reply to 90% of questions with how you can't share any of that information without expecting that/those players to then get frustrated. It's as simple as that.


Again, if you feel like I am talking about anyone directly in this post? Please don't go into it since that is not my intention. I have not named anyone in particular and have not given hints. Anyone besides you is not going to realize that I might be refering to you.

I'm going to weigh in on character assassination here.

I've seen it happen a lot. Its a problem. I've seen people earn reputations that might not have been entirely kosher, but slowly warp into something far more awful until its being spread around outlandishly and they're shocked and hurt to hear it. I've also seen people given reputations they didn't earn, and people given reputations they earned, then tried to move past, that dogged them until they gave up a persona entirely.

I've watched helplessly as people I've cared about were driven off of the server by bullying over the long term. And shamefully, I've even seen it happen in real time when a player with a troubled past that was trying to reform themselves was outright rejected by a faction I was in and left the discord heartbroken and frustrated; A friend that I tried to help get past their previous reputation and forge anew.

I still feel awful having witnessed it, I feel awful having brought them into that situation to this day.

I recognize that my friends in that faction discord had no obligation to forgive this player their past transgressions. I had tragically misjudged the degree of angst certain people had about this particular individual. It was only a couple people, but it was enough to make the player feel unwelcome. I wish they'd all been more forgiving.

Arelith's community has a long memory.

Over the many years I've been here, I've learned to try to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I've watched people mature and reform. I've also learned that some things are never forgotten; No amount of exemplary RP and player conduct will erase some facets of a player's reputation, deserved or otherwise. No length of time is too long for people to sling shit about someone.

And we all do it in some form or fashion.

Be it warning someone of another player's shady long history of doing the same kind of behavior, or of a player's propensity to use tells too much(I'm guilty of this one), or of a newer player's total lack of an IC-OOC filter. Or any number of things people will tell eachother about other players, often true, often conjecture, sometimes outright fabrication.

We're all guilty of this, and the vast majority of the time, it isn't even with malign intent. Most of the time we don't even realize we're doing it.

In another thread the term 'missing stair' was used to describe something, or someone, that we warn people about so people don't get hurt and can work around its existance. Everyone has a player that is, to them, a missing stair, and they WILL warn their friends about them, out of caring, out of concern. The issue, is that the person you are warning others about, might not be the same person anymore. People can change, but its hard for things to improve if they're being dogged by an older version of themselves.

The road to hell is truly paved in good intentions.

MissEvelyn wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 1:26 pm It will go a long way for the entirety of the server if we're self-aware about how we speak of another player in the presence of our friends, especially in groups. When it's no longer 1-on-1, we simply shouldn't give ourselves the liberty to rant and gossip about another player. It only creates discord and spreads toxicity.

I appreciate your input on my thoughts, but I'd like to engage you in this line of thought, specifically the bit of underlined text.

If what you're saying about another player not involved in the discussion is OOC'ly negative about the person, and you aren't a 'spend time with this person in real life' associate of the person you're talking about, while it may still spread more slowly 1-on-1, it still ends in the same vicious cycling of character assassination- as the one person you talked to talks to one other person about it and so on, until you have the situation I described earlier where someone is in tears because people they've literally never spoken to before are saying nasty things about them.

It isn't that I'm trying to say you aren't entitled to your opinions about people, or feeling negatively about them, or even sharing those feelings. But anything that starts with "I heard" or "I think" and ends with a negative statement about another player should just be left unsaid entirely if you weren't directly involved with the other person's offense as a witness; otherwise you run the risk of spreading Telephone Game rumors.

One person at a time or ten people at a time, this is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about that has driven players I miss away from the server in the past. Why is it more acceptable because it's limited to D(irect)M(essages)'s?

The answer is that it's not- you just can't be policed over them by the staff, so you have to police yourself.

If you're going to say something negative about another Player to a third party, you should first say it to the face of the person you have issue with and give them a chance to respond and defend themselves; otherwise, you're still just being a chain link in the problem fence, and you have absolutely no idea of half of the story you're spreading, no matter how good your intentions may be.

Edit: Please read all instances after the first sentence of "you" as the Royal You, and not you individually.

call me a negative nancy, but I don't think there's as many good intentions at play as people think. There are people deliberately spreading false narratives and intentionally omitting critical facts about what happens.

I am the subject of a lot of really stupid rumors. There are people that say I donated $1k to the server to garner staff favoritism (I haven't donated a dime, for the record). There are people that say I pvp without any rp, that I metagame, and all this silly stuff. It's gotten to the point that I play arelith with Shadowplay on so that I can record things, because I have come to expect people to lie. Because I KNOW they will lie.

a lot of this is born from an intense desire to win. people are doing anything they can to one up their antagonists, even ooc. people admonish their "enemies" for doing things their friends do. People ignore contextual information and look at isolated incidents to justify their anger and hatred of one another.

there is a literal discord for this called "the museum" or something like that where banned people go to speak half-truths and outright lies about why they got banned. I don't know if it's malice or delusion that drives them, but it's been going on a while. It's gross

we all need to grow up and be more critical of one another

I agree.

I think it is dangerously naive to attribute bad behavior of people to some kind of ignorance that a conversation will fix, or simply thoughtfulness on their part. People know what they are doing. They dont care of the effect it has on others so long as they themselves benefit from it. Its important people realize that they are sharing the server with bad actors, that they should log and screenshot everything, as well as report things to the dm team so that they can be rooted out over time.

Another hard truth is that there are many people still playing nwn, spread across the remaining servers, who cannot separate IC from OOC, and are far too invested into it, putting in considerable hours. Setbacks IG are more then just setbacks in a game for people like this, because of how important, even central, a role nwn and Arelith play for them in daily life.

Zavandar wrote: Sat May 11, 2019 11:14 pm call me a negative nancy, but I don't think there's as many good intentions at play as people think. There are people deliberately spreading false narratives and intentionally omitting critical facts about what happens.

I am the subject of a lot of really stupid rumors. There are people that say I donated $1k to the server to garner staff favoritism (I haven't donated a dime, for the record). There are people that say I pvp without any rp, that I metagame, and all this silly stuff. It's gotten to the point that I play arelith with Shadowplay on so that I can record things, because I have come to expect people to lie. Because I KNOW they will lie.

a lot of this is born from an intense desire to win. people are doing anything they can to one up their antagonists, even ooc. people admonish their "enemies" for doing things their friends do. People ignore contextual information and look at isolated incidents to justify their anger and hatred of one another.

there is a literal discord for this called "the museum" or something like that where banned people go to speak half-truths and outright lies about why they got banned. I don't know if it's malice or delusion that drives them, but it's been going on a while. It's gross

we all need to grow up and be more critical of one another

agreed. didn't you know my neutral spirit-worshiping druid was actually a whip-wielding disarm-spamming lawful evil banite paladin/druid/monk who initiates pvp on every single person she comes across?

sometimes people are dumb and make lies. sometimes people are awesome. everyone's human in the end, let DMs and public opinion sort em out.

O dear, I'm going to open up:

DM's, Some I crush on hard, Others I respect, But there is no DM I dislike or hate.
(Though I have given them plenty of reason to get tired of me *Gulp*)

But I really think Arelith has and always had an amazing staff.

I liked that oversensitivity was mentioned,

It's the new hype, No? Ten years ago it was a whole new world, At the beginning of Arelith Jjjerm tried to keep outside politics and stuff
out of Arelith.

But we have grown into a world with special snowflakes, Justice warriors etc.

A lot of that slipped in, Deep hate over stupid things, Tons and tons of lesbians etc.

Further: The evolution of arelith.

I do not get why this isn't mentioned in the good: I come from a time where you had to pay gold to change your weapon design and invest skill points for it to a time where we have planar travel, Islands, and some of the amazing systems ever.

-Markus

I literally don't care anymore. I play this game solely for my own enjoyment now and if someone doesn't want to associate with me IC or OOC, for whatever reason - real or imaginary, like I said, I couldn't care less.

Wrips wrote: Sun May 12, 2019 7:49 pm I literally don't care anymore. I play this game solely for my own enjoyment now and if someone doesn't want to associate with me IC or OOC, for whatever reason - real or imaginary, like I said, I couldn't care less.

^^^

People want to be cornerstones of the community/server history/kudos threads, but this often puts you into the dangerous limelight.

I'm overall fairly unsympathetic with the OP's messaging of character assassination, etc. If you don't want to get involved, it's really very easy not to to.

Don't go on the forums. Don't go on Discord. Play in -notells. Enjoy the purity of Arelith.

But if you want to do any of the above, then yeah, you're going to get into shit. It's super easy to avoid the darkside of Arelith.

Please play selfishly. Don't play with players you don't wanna play with. This is not a bad thing. Roleplaying styles can be totally incompatible. I once had a character/player roll over for me when I played some ebil dude who threatened them because they didn't want to get involved in "conflict or PvP." These people exist. For everything. You can't change them. Just find awesome people and stick with them.

This kind of OOC stuff takes a lot of energy. So if it starts to come your way, just deflect, detach, and avoid it.

Like literally the only thing you should care about is when you get tingly rp goosebumps. That's all I care about anymore.