Arelith

I didn't want to write this diary

But I have to stay focused, I'm probably the only one of the cult of Talos on the whole island without considering those dogs who have started opening doors to the abyss to the north.
I want to understand who I am, writing helps, I think.

She called me a hero.

Of all the things I could be, a hero?

I am not a hero, I am a monster, an agent of lightning, a bringer of destruction, I bring the thunder, I am the hammer.

People should fear me, people should fear my god, should recognize that the world is chaos and destruction and only through him can their eyes be opened.

Yet I am not feared, I am not respected, but I am loved, loved

How is this possible? What did I do to get here? Am I doing something wrong? Or is there something I am not understanding?

I close my eyes and I see her reddish hair, I see her sweet chubby smile, and I want it

If I want something I take it, is what I know to be true, you want something you take, and yet I don't want to take her, not by force, because she wouldn't see in me what she wants, I want to be a hero in her eyes, but she doesn't want to understand what my mission is, my divine duty.

How long will she be able to see the hero?

When will lightning strike showing everyone the truth?

She is a coward, a weakling, a serf, someone who would rather been a slave then a conquerer

and yet i love her

and i will tell you why i love her Journal, Is because I'm Afraid

Afraid that i will walk in this island alone
Afraid that as kindness and ospitality was gived to me would be as easily taken away.
Afraid that the same madness that came in westcliff will sink inside my skull and i may turn in the same mad freaks my kin are over the mountain temple.

Fear is the weapon of Tyrants, and i yet even if free from the chains of all tyrants i'm afraid

My heart is weak, i am weak, Is she making me weak?

This is the madness that sink into my skull when i'm not with her at night.

I traveled with the Tuskians, we went to fight the paladins, a training.

the commander, that golden hag told me to my face that I am her enemy, and the orcs defended me? they said I deserve a second chance

a second chance, as if I had done something wrong, as if I were a criminal, as if my sacrifices and struggles were nothing, as if the bastard paladins had the right to judge me.

and then we fought

my god

such power... I have never seen anything like it, it was not destructive, it was precise, it was a war fought with such powerful magic that most mortals should not have.

I am afraid

the paladins, they are no better than the followers of Bane, they are the same, they impose their idea of ​​good and evil with the strength of their swords, and strike down and treath everyone who disagree.

I dont want fear them

I do not want to fear anything ever again

Talos give me power

Civilization shows its colors at last, people who would rather hunt us, mock us and insult each other than accept the inevitable truth of the storm

even the Tuskians, Brave warriors with orcish blood who I thought shared an understanding with me are starting to turn their backs on me, to hate me, to mock me.

Only she reminds me to be patient, not to fall into futire anger, anger is good yes, but it must be concentrated, it must be made to grow and I must have the discipline to strike.

I wanted to be a hungry wolf, and instead I must be a lion, superior to these dogs that surround me

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