Arelith

[Alchuilas]

Bear with me here, as what follows is going to be lengthy spill of thoughts, observations, aired grievance, and most of all thanks, from the very depth of my being. I've been on an unannounced extended leave from arelith (though, not that only a handful would be aware), and I've been trying to work up the courage to put this all to words, so here it is in a messy sequence.

For a long time, arelith had been my go-to escape. To an unhealthy extent. That's how it began, probably some three years ago. Looking back to the person I was then, is always spine wrenching. With laughable sincerity, I really do apologize to a few players for times of immaturity -- even if it wasn't unbearable or only in small ways, it was just stupid. Having been a fan of the R. A. Salvatore books, I can remember the first thing I thought when seeing a server where you do this crazy thing called "role play" was that I wanted to be a drow like Drizzt, only to immediately see the sign in the creation area stating that wasn't allowed. I laughed, cursed the gods, then decided Drizzt be damned, I'll just be a slightly evil version of him. My heart goes out to PenguinNinja for my non-stop questions, I swear I think I chased him out of the UD, heh, but all the same, he was the first person to really engage my character and actively help me figure out how to play NWN as a whole. I had never even played the game, simply was lent it by a friend, and decided to see what the multiplayer aspects were, before trying campaign mode. That lead to trying Aria and Arelith, and immediately being able to find other players, as opposed to infrequent sightings, made Arelith the one I stuck with. Of course, that meant I downloaded the hakpaks without really knowing what those did, so when I made my first-first character, he actually had a custom head, to which some rather bluntly said I needed to get rid of it, or be deleted. A player no less. I thought the aggression was slightly uncalled for, but was new to the server, and simply apologized and remade. That was the first of an attitude that pervades arelith a bit too often, but that comes later in this tale (Like I said, this will be long). Second kudos goes out to When-wolves-hound-the-prey. I knew at least a little thanks to the Salvatore books, about drow culture, but it wasn't enough, and it landed my character in a mess quick, which was very humorous, and ultimately to his benefit. Xunmice was one of the most helpful characters I've met, and they always did it with fantastic in-character reasons. You died exploring an unknown area and don't want to lose the XP? Xunmice decides the house needs more gold, and so raids the Ghaunadarians, finding your worthless corpse and giving you a good whipping for it after resurrecting. The spelling they had was terrible! But I only say that to tease, they were a fantastic help and role player.

The next kudo, goes to likely the biggest help and my deepest thanks. RedGiant. I almost don't even know what to say, but [insert words here to make up a lack-thereof] I wish you well in life, sir. Perhaps unknowingly, you've preserved my sanity first and fore-mostly by being someone whom is honest and knows how to separate in-character from out, and secondly by just being a fantastic role player. You're also the only reason I began to be able to make awesome builds. It's become a sort of relaxer for me, if I'm feeling stressed and need to just focus on something, I open up NWN, start campaign mode and enable console commands, to try out various themed builds and how I might maximize their utility. I've about thirty saved-game logs of various builds, Heh. And so again, I hope you find fulfillment in whatever you do. You have my undying gratitude.

The list goes on, with other players and characters that had a shorter, yet no less important role in my growing-up; as a kid running away from life, and now to at least a half-way functioning individual. Even if interacting with pride-gamers or arsehole DM's, it was a learning experience. Which I'll tie back to one of my earlier remarks. There's this elitist snob attitude among some players and DM's alike that (to a much smaller extent) play into my extended absence. Passive aggressive remarks and unnecessary exclamations simply make you look like an Snuggybear, especially when the person in question wasn't explicitly aware of the rulings on matters, that aren't even written. Look for more reasons to reward, if not equal to, reasons to punish. Another larger reason I've gravitated away from arelith is that I was putting exhausting lengths into role playing my character, and it ultimately netted nothing. Both in and out of character. Which is not to say is any one person fault, but rather, the collective of events.

And so I realized, I was investing far too much of my emotional, and mental well-being, into arelith. It was only leading to stress and frustration, and this wasn't the first time. (Speaking of which, Kudos again, to the fantastic FL server player-base. You all, really were the blooming of my better times here: Falloren, Fade, The Mournes, ThatOneDrowessWhoseNameIDon'tRemeber. You all were absolutely fantastic. I way prefer FL mechanics too.) But unlike times prior, even if I'm still unsatisfied, I can say I've changed for the better, and I truly feel like I only have the Arelith Community to thank for that, along with the wonderful platform on which the Dev's have created it. During the latter half of time, my characters became less of an escape, and more of a social experiment, as to who I was, and who I wanted to be, and I can't thank you all enough.

Laughably (and I say laughably again), I can't say I'm going cold-turkey though. I'm effectively electing for nicotine patches, as I'd like to think of it, heh. Weening myself off, by proxy with the role playing community of archeage (They've got nothin' on ya'll. Ssshhh.) Ha. It's actually promising, it's just not what I'm used to. ANYWAYS. I don't say this to mean, "Anyone who is a roleplayer is a bitch, and should stop running away from life!" That's simply how my story started, regrettably. The day may very well come where I look to play on arelith again, but I can confidently say, that will likely not be for a very long time, unless I just completely regress. There are life matters I really need to sort first, and distractions are to my detriment.

To which I take my final bow, at times few and far between, it was honestly a blast, that made those insufferable times, sufferable. (I'm typing this as it comes back to me) Some final kudos, to the golden age of infernalists. I never actually played as one, and was actually more often than not, spying on your bunch, Vippin and Jel. I will never, ever, forget... the time where I decided... "Let's go try to corner stealth the Styx dragon and steal his horde!" ... only to go the wrong direction, and see up on a cliff side, Vippin, Jel with some others, talking to a time travelling mage (DM Watchtower). The mage tells them their plans will succeed, and more out of context clues I didn't get at the time... but then they SUMMON THEIR FIENDISH PATRON. My heart began racing so fast. Don'tGetCaughtDon'tGetCaughtDon'tGetCaught. Luckily I positioned my self fabulously, and their true sight failed them. Thus, I got to listen as the Devil (Who's name I don't remember) promised his underlings, Vippin and Jel, his armies in their aims to demolish Light Keep. I about pissed myself, I was so ecstatic. Instantly sold that info to as many people as I could, which... was actually all evil characters, who didn't give a damn, so if anything, I believe some of them ended up helping (My character worked closely with the Covenant, and ALL OF YOU get some kudos here as well. Fantastic bunch). Ahhhhh, good times.

And no doubt this reads like a broken record, but thank you, to you all, again. Started in the underdark, and never left, instantly in love with the cultures and roleplay. (That and my characters up top, always seemed to get ignored by others.)

I love you all, and good night for a while. (Though I might dish out my skype for anyone interested in archeage, or anything else, really.)

[The Man of the Moon]

Be well in your affairs, Alchuilas. Keep in mind and heart the best from here and enjoy the best from there!

(And don't forget to return if you felt like doing it!)

[Twily]

ohmygosh! I was in a Kudos! (I'm fade) That's a first(as far as I can remember). Thanks! I had a lot of fun playing with you on FL, so much fun that I don't play there anymore because it's boring not being involved in RP with players like you(since I made a new character).

Anyways, Funnily enough, I've begun to play on arelith far less myself, for more or less the same reasons. I've been fighting through depression and stuff and Arelith was always my escape. Things are starting to change though, and with that I find Arelith rather dull to me(partially because of the elitist personalities I unfortunately keep encountering, even although I know that's not everyone).

[The Man of the Moon]

ohmygosh! I was in a Kudos! (I'm fade) That's a first(as far as I can remember). Thanks! I had a lot of fun playing with you on FL, so much fun that I don't play there anymore because it's boring not being involved in RP with players like you(since I made a new character).

Anyways, Funnily enough, I've begun to play on arelith far less myself, for more or less the same reasons. I've been fighting through depression and stuff and Arelith was always my escape. Things are starting to change though, and with that I find Arelith rather dull to me(partially because of the elitist personalities I unfortunately keep encountering, even although I know that's not everyone).

I have to say that perception could be wrong in many cases, but in the first sight.

Digg further on the RP with every player and you will find gold more often, I could say.

I met so elititst elves, perhaps, that at a start in Arelith made me think none elven deserved anymore my atention... Then I met some of them that are absolutely the opposite, being kind and open (and keeping a great RP), so I guess that is just a mixture of:

Player mood + Moon phase + resources in the fridge + Beer existences + RP style + Race he plays + Luck he had that day + Remnant time he has to RP/whatever + Distractions + Your own interaction with him/her... = How do you meet and what impression/feeling will get each one.

Or something like that...

Keep the faith!

[RedGiant]

Because I' possibly the worst forums checker...ever, this is long overdue.

*points at Alchuilas, remaining utterly silent for a long moment...then inexorably pounds his heart with a side-long fist*

Great respect to you, man...great respect.

[Cuchilla]

And so I realized, I was investing far too much of my emotional, and mental well-being, into arelith.

This sounds fairly sane to me: RL first, Arelith is just a game.

[Grunf]

The best shadow gone? No, i dont believe you! You are there lurking somewhere! Somehow i find really challenge to rp shadow-toon, few only made it and you among them. KUDOS and cya in a game, i am sure of it!