Squashing the OOC beef

[Quizmar]

Hello everyone, I'm starting a new thread to discuss issues with OOC beef spilling over into IC events.
I admit I was saltposting, but after reading the responses I'm here to discuss solutions to these issues.

I'd like to arrange a discord call with faction leaders and DM's to air grievances and discuss a more positive direction moving forward.
It seems like the social contract and trust between factions has eroded, and to me this seems like something which could be resolved.

[DM Monkey]

Let's make sure we keep this thread constructive.

That said, there's no real need to speak OOC with people. Some people speak OOC, but in a situation where you're roleplaying you should just assume that everyone else is there to roleplay as well. Our rules exist for good reason, so if there's a situation that needs our attention, all you need to do is send in a report to 'Active DMs' and we'll investigate.

In MANY cases we investigate, people assume that there's some OOC beef happening when really there are just many IC factors that are at play which they haven't considered or aren't aware of. Arelith is a group story, not just about one character, so it's often the case that there's a lot more to the story.

[DM Starfish]

I would also like to briefly add that if one approaches IC interaction with the idea that everyone is out to get you on an OOC level, things may turn sour pretty quick. Just chill, it's never personal.

[Quizmar]

Let's make sure we keep this thread constructive.

That said, there's no real need to speak OOC with people. Some people speak OOC, but in a situation where you're roleplaying you should just assume that everyone else is there to roleplay as well. Our rules exist for good reason, so if there's a situation that needs our attention, all you need to do is send in a report to 'Active DMs' and we'll investigate.

In MANY cases we investigate, people assume that there's some OOC beef happening when really there are just many IC factors that are at play which they haven't considered or aren't aware of. Arelith is a group story, not just about one character, so it's often the case that there's a lot more to the story.

The central issue I'm attempting to address is that many people DON'T assume good faith in the other party, then explode with salt and bitterness, feel begrieved and therefore are more likely to attempt to metagame, hold grudges and cheat in retaliation, and thus further erode player trust. I understand that factually speaking most accusations of cheating are in fact IC kosher, but the issue is the completely eroded social contract within good vs evil dynamics, which as I argue is a destructive loop. As you can see the other feedback post is filled to the brim with salt on this issue, sown by these same seeds.
It sounds like it has never been tried, but I think it would ultimately be productive

[DM Monkey]

Not that many people actually have this problem. It comes up occasionally, it's just more visible when there's a vocal minority. The big server-wide issue chat has happened before and didn't do much that couldn't be solved by players being a little more courteous with one another.

What each player can do to help the situation is:

• Keep in character, do what your character would do, and assume that others are acting the same way.
• Give people benefit of the doubt: Are they just playing a nasty or evil character? Probably. It's more likely than them having an OOC agenda against you.
• Let people have some wiggle room in their RP with you.
• You don't always have to win, there are going to be ups and downs, just enjoy the journey rather than the outcomes.
• Don't contribute to OOC salt. Whether it's on the forums or discord, most of the time you really just don't need to engage at all OOC.
• Be nice OOC. If you can't be nice OOC, just don't talk OOC.

You could even consider how topics like this, whilst they might have a good intention, might actually create more bad feelings than they solve.

[Babylon System is the Vampire]

It's a bit ironic that you are saying you have no faith in people having faith in other players. I get where you are coming from though, if you go into certain discords, it's impossible to ignore the fact that some people take all this stuff way to personally. But that comes from people seeing their characters as an extension of themselves instead of a role they are playing.

Truth be told, if they are your enemy ic then who cares what they think about you ooc, it's probably going to amount to the same more often than not in how it relates to the game. And if someone takes it too far, ship it to the dms to investigate. It's really not worth stressing over beyond that.

[ReverentBlade]

Uninstall discord and type -notells.

Immediately better experience.

[D4wN]

It really feels to me like you are projecting.

It can take time to be able to detach yourself from stuff and just focus on IC being IC and not assume people are out to get you OOCly. If you play this game keeping in mind people aren't their characters and aren't out to get you (even if maybe they are), you'll have a lot more enjoyment. Try not to take everything so seriously. If an area or group of people isn't for you to RP with, then find another group or area to RP with. There are so many varieties of players on this server, there is bound to be somewhere and someone you click with.

And like what someone else already said, turn on -notells and leave (toxic) Discord groups. You'll be happier for it.

[Paint]

When I first got real into Arelith I joined a couple of discords for some smaller factions and made the mistake of running into, I think, some of the worst salt in Arelith. I became fairly convinced based on what I was being told in those servers that there -was- a lot of intense ooc beef and that some factions were literally filled to the brim with jerks out to get you.

But uh, something... kept... not adding up? Because I had interactions with some of those characters who were apparently jerks. And they... Were not jerks to me?

I went out of my way to talk to the characters that people were furious with. Including one that -I- exiled in a -very- mean way. I got their side of the story ICly, and had pretty lengthy conversations with them.

After that I started interacting with these factions full of ooc 'jerks,' a lot more and had a lot of fun RPing with them.

So in the end, what I discovered was that most of the stuff people thought was OOC was just IC characters sticking true to their values. So I left those crummy discords. After that, I enjoyed Arelith a lot more.

Are there punks on Arelith who don't play well with others? Yeah. Are they they majority? Not by a longshot. Use conflict to make your characters better and to tell fun stories. Don't worry about it. Everything is transient. If you spend your entire time on Arelith stressing over what everyone's true intentions are, you'll just be miserable.

[MRFTW]

Uninstall discord and type -notells.

Immediately better experience.

Great advice.

[In Sorrow We Trust]

i only join discord to shitpost

[Ad Astra]

Discord absolutely devastates player experience imo. I tend to add people personally, and I have a group of people who I basically go @PARTY IN DIS to. Actual factions for movers and shakers, last one I was in basically killed my drive to logon after I found out I had been taking their side about "meta" and "ooc stuff" which was really the results of a long term investigation and a member of the group confessing their sins.

[AstralUniverse]

My biggest advice is everyone is to switch login every character and play anonymous. Try to separate ooc and ic as much as possible. If you're in a faction discord perhaps dont type your character name next to your discord login name (even if that's just semantic and doesnt matter too much, its the intent and the impression it leaves who count too), and when you speak oocly on discord and the forums dont mention your character, even to your friends. Playing anonymous is the best arelith experience. For sure the most immersive (and also more challenging if you're a veteran player with a lot of buddies) and it makes it all that much easier to play in good faith and assume the other side plays in good faith too.

[Shadowy Reality]

Agreed with all of the above. I have almost always had a different login name per character and avoided most Discords.

There are typically two sides to one story, a lot of players and factions are villainized in private (and sometimes public) Discords.
My advice is to not only keep OOC connections to a minimum but to also make new characters that always lead you to places and factions you have not belonged to before. Don't make the mistake of all your characters belonging to one faction.

Do you think the Cordorian Guards are actually champions of Cyric in hiding in plain sight?
Do you think the Andunorian dredges have it out to destroy your day every time you log in?

Just join them with your next character. Chances are, you will be positively surprised.

[D4wN]

Agreed with all of the above. I have almost always had a different login name per character and avoided most Discords.

There are typically two sides to one story, a lot of players and factions are villainized in private (and sometimes public) Discords.
My advice is to not only keep OOC connections to a minimum but to also make new characters that always lead you to places and factions you have not belonged to before. Don't make the mistake of all your characters belonging to one faction.

Do you think the Cordorian Guards are actually champions of Cyric in hiding in plain sight?
Do you think the Andunorian dredges have it out to destroy your day every time you log in?

Just join them with your next character. Chances are, you will be positively surprised.

Basically this. Join them on another character and you're bound to see a different side.

[Cthuletta]

Agreed with all of the above. I have almost always had a different login name per character and avoided most Discords.

There are typically two sides to one story, a lot of players and factions are villainized in private (and sometimes public) Discords.
My advice is to not only keep OOC connections to a minimum but to also make new characters that always lead you to places and factions you have not belonged to before. Don't make the mistake of all your characters belonging to one faction.

Do you think the Cordorian Guards are actually champions of Cyric in hiding in plain sight?
Do you think the Andunorian dredges have it out to destroy your day every time you log in?

Just join them with your next character. Chances are, you will be positively surprised.

100% agreed. I tend to flip sides between mains, just for something fresh and new since things change so quickly between every settlement. I'm always pleasantly surprised, and by and large, both characters and players alike are welcoming and accommodating.

I think it's normal to get a bit disappointed or even a little upset at a turn of events that occur IC that doesn't go the way you wanted it to. Step back from the game, have that moment to be upset, then continue on with a new route. We're human, we can't always be happy-happy-joy-joy if our plans/stories don't work out. Though, there is ALWAYS a new opportunity that you might not realize when that happens, that can lead to something even more fun! Roleplay really is just improv when you think about it, and rolling with the punches is part of the game. It's extremely rare that there's OOC beef motivating it in my opinion, just other people playing their characters.
On the rare occasion there is some kind of OOC thing there, don't press. Just let it lie, and give 'em space. It's a lot better to give one another breathing room than it is to butt heads and plot against one another ICly if there are some negative feels there. Obviously if it veers into harassment, get DMs involved, but 9 times out of 10, after time passes and things are chill, things come back together in a much more pleasant way. It's a dangerous thing to plan your RP actions against another character/group around the idea that the opposite side is harbouring some OOC resentment, especially if you're mistaken.

[98lbs of sad carryweight]

If I was engaged in a hobby but I had to shun every social interaction that isn't 3 layers removed via roleplay I'd probably start to question why the majority of social interactions go poorly for me.

A bad experience is bound to happen but it really shouldn't poision the future of all interactions with your fellow human beans moving forward.
How do y'all even get so many evil tells and invite to malicious discord groups.

[Amateur Hour]

A specific example I'd like to point out when it comes to reading OOC intention into IC conflicts:

Some people just really like to play certain character types; they may particularly love the mechanics, they may feel the class's motivations really speak to them, they may just feel it's just super neat. For this specific example, I'll point out that some people love playing animators while other people love playing druids. And yeah, this will mean their characters will come into conflict a lot, character after character, and it doesn't have to involve any OOC dislike.

If you have a Type, please keep in mind other people also have Types.