Unfortunately while Discord has been a great benefit to forging a community, and hearing back from players it is also sometimes a proper cesspit of unpleasantness.
I've been in the unfortunate position of having to deal with reports from the 'unofficial' discords, and seen a great many vile personal attacks, slurs, threats, and just other rampant hate-filled postings, targetting myself, staff and fellow players. This of course spills out elsewhere. I've had to reduce my personal online presence to a minimum due to near constant targetting, by creepy individuals who really don't seem to be able to grasp that running Arelith staff and making occassional area updates doesn't make me some all-powerful overlord. Almost every means for players to contact me directly have now been shut down because of this. DMs deal with the brunt of it of course, ranging from tirades of abuse, to full blown death-threats.
At times? I've really had to convince myself that such behaviour didn't represent the majority of players, but I've sometimes found that hard to do, especially when I've seen just how many go along with it, without pausing to reflect on just what level of **** you have to be to condone it.
I wish unofficial discords didn't exist at all, but then I'm in position to control that, and seemingly hanging out in unmoderated spaces where one can live the dream of online bullying and harassment is how some of those playing here get their kicks.
Settlement Discords should have no place in RPing in that settlement, or being part of it, and for a long time the official didn't have them, but we took then 'in-house' when players kept insisting on making their own, and pitching them in tells as the genuine article, and telling all their citizens to join (I myself would get invited to them pretty quickly after RPing in one.). I've had the impression, too, that in some of those settlements, one simply didn't get ahead, IC, without being part of the OC clique, not least so those there can see who you 'really' are.
I'm honestly not sure of the best approach here, other than wishing people could be better. I know some people object to whole idea of being 'moderated' at all, and I sincerely wish there was no cause for us to do it.