ReverentBlade wrote: Sat Feb 19, 2022 4:29 pm
There's two sides of that coin. People jump to violence at absolutely unrealistic and absurd things, and giving those deaths heavy narrative significance is just as lame as ignoring death altogether.
A good PvP build does not give you carte blanche to strongarm any narrative you please.
I beg to differ. I've had conversations with people on this thread who, despite them saying otherwise here now, have otherwise claimed to not see scryganking someone every 24hs, or resorting to PvP every 24 hours with the outs given being 'cease to exist or give up everything your character stands for' as bullying behaviour.
I think it falls on a lack of self-awareness that the rules are seen as wire fence where everything is allowed so long as you don't get caught doing specific things, because then no one can prove anything and the worst they can do is frown. It reminds me of primary school where a group of people would bully someone, then tell the teacher that it was the victim that started it, after all it's five on one and they were there. It may be physical, it might be harrying them until they finally lash out with violence. There's probably some inner narrative where (sans severe cognitive dissonance) the person on the receiving end 'deserves it' for one or another made up reason, and they're emboldened by the support of their own group, like an echo-chamber. Or much like bullying in itself, it's not really your concern or your fault.
The difference is, we're not in primary school and records of all those interactions remain. Not just in Arelith, where I imagine DMs keep a record of these things through the years, but in the community itself at large as people migrate and they reach other servers as well and carry their experiences with themselves where they go. If it's always the same individuals then perhaps it's a good thing to start asking questions, and consider how many times can something be considered an unfortunate coincidence, or if there's a behavioural pattern.
I encourage everyone to report this kind of behaviour and misdemeanor when they see it. It's unfortunate that many times over the years I've witnessed people that feel they would rather not engage at all, or that it's pointless to report things because nothing gets done at the end of the day, or it may even make you a target next for speaking up, the belief that certain people are favored by DMs or protected in some way, which leads to what was mentioned before.
The Be Nice rule is there because the people that made the server, the people that run it, the people in charge have an idea of what they would like their server to be like, and the general atmosphere they would like it to have. That is something that goes beyond not wanting the most egregious rulebreaks to happen. It's about the quality of the experience in it, not as a roleplaying place in itself, but as a community. The best thing you can do is just play your character and be your best self, and report suspicious or wrong behaviour. Even if you think nothing gets done, or nothing changes, go through the official channels and see it done rather than give up on it and assume that's just how things are on Arelith. That is the wrong attitude to have.
The Team cannot be everywhere. They cannot know everything. And they do not have context. They are human, and they too have their own faults, their biases and their own lives that keep them from acting 'in the moment', but they all too want the place to be the best it can be. The process they go through takes time. Those that engage in this kind of behaviour probably do the same things as primary school bullies (Take things out of context, try to frame someone else, try to paint themselves as the victims) in an effort to drown out the possibility that they might be the ones to stand out. And well, what can you do about that? At first sight, it appears nothing. But Arelith is a community that has been around for a long time, so bear in mind you're likely not the only one to have experienced this through the years. Your experience is valid, and it helps not just you and the ones playing now, but the ones that will come in the future when this behaviour keeps repeating itself, if it wasn't fixed in your time. Remember,
you are not alone, and these people are
not a majority, or the server would be on fire.
If you cannot have faith in those that are at the lead, and those that are the keepers of the community, you will find your experience severely diminished as you yourself start to believe that the experiences you had is what's encouraged, what's desired, or what is tolerated. Or at best, that there's just indifference. I understand how this can be the impression at times with punishments and the work of DMs being kept private, so you cannot see it yourself. But if you get to that point and you genuinely cannot find it within yourself to believe it is otherwise, and that such is Arelith all the good things it has, then the best thing you can do is just not engage in it.
For your own health. Without rancor, or spite, or resentment. Nothing awaits you but inevitable stress, and possibly a meme about the definition of insanity. It will just make you bitter and jaded. To believe something is toxic yet engaing in it again is not going to do you any good. But before doing such give having faith a chance, and give it a honest try, and believe things do work out and issues are resolved.
Ultimately also, try to believe people can change for the better and learn. Give them at least one chance. If there is no redemption, then there is nothing but the crime, forever.
The carrying of OOC grudges ultimately defeats the whole purpose of roleplaying as playing a character that is not yourself, and it's a sad thing when you see it come up again, and again, and again.
